Thread: Corrupted Wishes Game

Granted, but then everyone in the world becomes lactose intolerant and the U.S. government, among others, bans all dairy products.



I wish I had a driver's license...

--DM--

Granted but you get on the road and cause a 500,000,000,000,000,00 car pile up and you are sued for all you have and soon have to sell yourself to the last person in the crash and are there personal slave performing grevious task such as picking stuff out of your owner's teath

I wish I had all the computer knowledge possible.

Granted, but your evil side wakes up in the night and uses your knowledge to make a virus that is unstoppable. It's so powerful, that it destroys all the computers in the world and you become the most wanted criminal in the free world.

I wish I had five bucks.

Granted.

You end up spending them on the cheapest hooker in town, who accidentally bites off your private parts.

I wish I had some milk.

Granted
But it is spoiled (sorry so lame tired)

I wish I was asleep

Granted.

But in order to do so, you must drink Pawn's milk. (I had a funnier response, involving Bobo's hooker and her connection to the mysterious origins of Pawn's spoiled milk, but that was just too... corrupted.)

I wish for global socialism.

Granted. But now that Americans get their prescription drugs for free from the government, they no longer have to get them from Canada. Suddenly, George W Bush realizes that there is no good reason to keep Canada a seperate country, so he attempts to get congressional approval to go to war. Congress, in turn, impeaches Bush. However, in the Senate, the vote to throw him out of office is short by two votes, with John Kerry and John Edwards the only absent senators(being that they're on the campaign trail) Now the nation is enraged at both Bush and Kerry, and Ralph Nader is elected president. As promised, he pulls all the troops out of Iraq within six months. The Iraqis hated their new socialist government, so Hussein comes back to power. He kills 4 million Kurds, knowing that no one will attack him with America out of the picture. Then his army marches on Paris, which surrenders without a fight. Then, he trims his mustache so that it looks more French, and becomes the star of a sitcom where he lives in an apartment with Jacques Chirac.

I wish I was the star of a sitcom.

Granted, but somehow your world becomes this sitcom and now you're stuck in the fake world of sitcoms. After being the star of your world and hearing laughter from non-existant audiences for several months, you go insane and are admitted to the mental institute of the sitcom world, where you spend the rest of your life of stardom.

I wish my parents would let me go to the metal show on Friday.

Granted.

You go to the metal show, where your head is unexpectedly bitten off by the lead singer.

I wish I knew what was in eleutheromaniac's mind when he was connecting my milk and bobo's hooker...

Granted.

But I can only tell you telepathically.

I wish I had telepathic powers.

Granted. Upon gaining these telepathic abilities, you tell Pawn how his milk and bobo's hooker connected in your mind, and he is outraged, for whatever reason. I do not know this reason, as I don't know the connection. In his fit of rage, Pawn hunts you down and tortures you for having such disturbing and ridiculous thoughts.

I wish I wasn't sick

Granted.

You are no longer sick, but while making this wish, the lead singer of the metal band has absconded with your head. (Hmm, I would've thought your first wish would be to get your head back. Odd.)

I wish I was an oddity.

Granted, but you are chased by a large enraged mob who thinks your a monster, when they ctach you they poke you with pitchforks and light you on fire. Oh, you're dead now.

I wish I was infertile.

Granted.

But you are discovered to be a mutant who can pass on your favorable mutation (which permits you to stay awake and alert for 23 hours a day, requiring only an hour of sleep), and you are unable to procreate with all the party-types who now won't give you the time of day, much less have sex with you.

I wish I had a zero-calorie cheesesteak right now.

Granted. However, to grant your wish it was neccesary to remove the calories, and thus the nutritional value of all beef and dairy products in the world. As such, the government has now outlawed beef and dairy because of 0 percent energy efficiency transfer from grain to consumer product. You enjoy your cheesesteak, but you live in fear of arrest for the rest of your life.

I wish rueben sandwiches at culver's didn't have quite as much sauerkraut.