Thread: Puns

Puns

I have been told Americans don’t do puns that much, I don’t know if it’s true, a sad loss for them if it is. They are one of my favourite ways of playing with words so I am wondering if you have any examples, here is a silly one to kick off.
If you weigh whales in a railway station where do you weigh pies?
Answer:- Somewhere over the rainbow (way up high.)

Another member had posted in a different thread, complaining about an earlier post by a third party and saying WF was not the place for remarks with a sexual connotation. I replied, saying "You don't have to come here."

did you intend it as a pun at the time, though? or later realize how it sounded?

Possibly one reason Americans can’t make puns about weighing whales is that they don’t have the word ‘railway’. So any whale pun of theirs would need to be constructed along the following lines:

If Mel Gibson couldn’t enlist enough support amongst the Highlanders for his planned assault on the English and turned instead to those huge ocean-going mammals for help and said “Now look guys, we can’t have you going into battle with kelp draped all over your faces like that; you need to paint them blue, like mine.”, where would they go for their make-up?

A whale-woad station, of course.

Originally Posted by SparkyLT

did you intend it as a pun at the time, though? or later realize how it sounded?

Yes

for some reason, I didn't get this.....

Last night Leclanche broke from his cell and, volting an electric fence, almost escaped before being ampered by a magnetic field and conducted ohm.

I replied, saying "You don't have to come here."

Aaaaaaaaaaahahhahahha.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Yes, I know. Cheesy. Haha.

There is a radio programme on BBC4 called "crossing continents" . Whenever they announce it I hear "cross incontinence".

Incontinence would make me cross too.

Given the paucity, the dearth of posts in this thread, and given that the thread has existed for more than forty days, there's one thing stands out like dog's balls, and it's this: Cleverness is fairly thin on the ground around here.

Which may say something about the skill levels of the so-called writers who infest this site. Mind you, I didn't say "the writers", I said "the so-called writers". I do not include writers in this remark.

Just thinking out loud here.

A pun is a short quip followed by a long groan. ~Author Unknown

Looks like she's finally found the Jesus In A Can and sprayed that sticky Shift key.

Or, more likely, it's been some fowl play by our old friend CopyPasty

*quack quack*

Heard an old Tommy Steel song the other day about a girl he met and how he's going to "date her for later". Only with his London accent it sounds as though he is going to "date her, fellate her".