Raging_Hopeful

I have decided to query a couple of agents but when asked for a synopsis I am at a loss. So this *sigh* is what I got so far...

"Hook":
When Kat Foster comes to Franklin Academy and meets Serena, she finds that not everyone welcomes their relationship and that they will have to face more than their family and school administrators, they will have to face Bobby Platt.

Synposis:
Being a new girl to a conservative community can be challenging enough, but Kat comes with baggage. Gothic clothes, a dead brother, and a bad attitude immediately peg Kat as the freak of Franklin Academy. And then Kat meets Serena, a girl who fits Kat’s stereotype of popular: blonde, beautiful, and popular. But not everything is as it seems. Through this unlikely friendship Kat has an opportunity to come outside of herself and face the death of her brother, her parent’s eroding relationship, and face the truth: Kat is gay. And so is Serena. Bobby Platt, a fellow school mate, discovers Kat’s secret love for Serena and exposes her to the school administration, some of whom get involved to help them sort through their “confusion.” How can Serena and Kat define their relationship? Are they really gay? Or is their love something that transcends any kind of label? They are challenged by the negative attitudes of the school, Bobby’s continued torments, and by their own insecurities. As it becomes clear that Kat will not simply “disappear,” Bobby makes a mistake, a mistake that may cost Serena’s life and that may cost him his own future.

Or does the synopsis need to spell out everything? And if it does, how on earth do you make it interesting?!

Help!

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BOURBON

hopeful,
its always difficult to help a person do this without knowing the story they are struggling to pitch. Briefly, your hook should identify the drama as briefly as possible. I don't want to read names, but do want to be told the reason that the collision of characters is a recipe for conflict.

As far as the synopsis goes...everyone has their own opinion about pitching docs, but my favoured approach is to get the whole damn shooting match onto a page and a half max. Use broad brush strokes, identify the dominant arcs and avoid getting bogged down in detail.

I hope this is of some help.

BB

Raging_Hopeful

Hey Bourbon,
Thanks for the input. I guess it makes the situation even more frustrating because on a "how-to" on synopsis and hooks it said you should use the main character's name??? Oy. This is harder than writing a novel!!

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lin

You don't seem willing to sink your "hook". I mean you have two hot chicks in love and don't MENTION it until way down in the fine print?

Hook means hook...lay out what your story has going for if right then and there. Screw Bobby Platt, who you ring into the hook and make a big deal about, without saying anything about him but his name.

I think you want more like:

Kat and Serena find a new school, a new friend...and a new kind of love. Their attraction would be confusing enough, but when the spiteful Bobby reveals their blossoming relationship to the the whole school, they find they've stumbled into a whole new set of problems.

The whole names aren't important, really...especially with school girls. The name of the school is no big, and can certainly wait until the second section.

What this sort of "logline" does is spell out what's going on, and what the problem is. It also quickly weeds out people who aren't interested in schoolgirl dalliances...or selects those who are.

The trick with this stuff (and I suck at it, believe me) is going for the nice, clean, bold line, like a cartoon or Picasso sketch. You can get bogged down trying to put in every nuance.

They're looking for the plot: meaning the desire, the complications, the stakes, the resolution.

You also need to take a look at a few inconsistencies here. You say "Kat is gay and so is Serena", then a few lines later ask "Are they really gay?" This doesn't give off the feeling of an author who has their act together.

The "dangling question" ending is one approach, but it avoids telling them if you have a resolution, much less a satisfactory one. So you don't have a synopsis, but a jacket blurb.

As far as making it interesting, how about some hot pics of the chics?
Seriously, is the story interesting? If not, chuck it and write another one. If so, why should it be so impossible to make the synopsis interesting?

What are the plot elements here? What sequence of things happens? Get that clear in your mind. Is "her brothers death" really something significant to the overall story line?
On the other hand, shouldn't we get some idea of the climax and resolution?

That's the part we can't help you with because we don't know.

But I'd suggest that you want a wrap up here, like:

Harrassed by the Academy admiristration, shunned by other students, and tormented by that rotten little fucker, Bobby, the girls take a desperate shot at a Romeo/Juliet solution, only to be put in mortal danger when Bobby interferes.
Only by putting her future on the line can Serena save Kat from death in a daring rescue that affirms their love and forces Bobby to face his own envy of their relationship.

Or some such crap. It's no picnic. Hope this is a little help.



THEN you can fill in the lines a little.

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lin

Let's try something more practical. Searching.

Look for books like yours and find out who is publishing them, and maybe even who is agenting them. You poke around google with author name and "literary agent" and "contact" or something and you often turn things up. Sometimes authors have blogs where you can contact them.

Also, go to Duotrope's Digest (A Resource for Fiction Writers & Poets) and search. Check the tab for "Novels & Collections" then select for Novel LENGTH, Romance GENRE (or erotica or whatever) for THEME, chose GBLT

I'm seeing about 8 publishers there, including Page has moved

Take a look through their catalog. One problem: the synopses you're seeing are "blurbs" for readers, NOT what you'd send an agent. But it gives you an idea. Check submission pages for these presses, or others you ID off amazon or from your sicko perverted little bookstore. Sometimes they tell you flat out how to write what they want.

Google for "literary agent" "synopsis" "how to" and similar tags. You might find a good template. Keep in mind that what an AGENT says is a good way to present is about a googol-plex better than what some writing guru says.

Good luck

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Raging_Hopeful

Lin, can I just pay YOU to write it for me?!

I almost peed myself. Really.

Okay you have been above and beyond helpful. The story is interesting enough (or at least -I- think it is) but I am a long-winded person. Summaries and being concise are challenges for me which is why this is so hard methinks. But I'll try it your way and check out some of the resources you provided.

Thank you!

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lin

Well, maybe we could work something out.

(Stick around, I'm looking for a smilie face leering and twirling a mustache)

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The Backward OX

This do?

lin

Well actually, no.

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lin

But thanks for sharing.

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Raging_Hopeful

Omg that picture was grotesque!

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astralis

Raging,

How gay is gay in your story? Some publishers, who are in the minority, publish completely overt gay stories. Mainstream publishers, though, publish stories about gay characters in subtle language that many people can read and actually miss the fact that the main characters are gay.

While your synopsis simply came out and said: "They are gay". I would focus more on your plot and use their sexuality as only an accent if you're focusing on mainstream publishers. For example, you could read or write a paper on "The Talented Mr. Ripley" and hardly even mention that it's about a homosexual infatuation. Consider how you write a synopsis for that story in two ways:

1. Overtly gay.
2. Subtly gay.

Now consider how you could do that with your own synopsis. Try to write it in two different ways.

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How to write a story

lin

WHY???????????????????????????

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astralis

To get published. Overtly gay stories are still not readily picked up by mainstream publishers when acceptance of homosexuality is the theme. It's the nature of the business.

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How to write a story

Raging_Hopeful

Er yeah except my story is blatantly about their sexual orientation. That's essentially the driving force behind the conflict ya know? So it would be next to impossible to have it be a "subtle" sell. So in other words, "It's hella gay."

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