A question for the ladies, about SEX - Writers Forum

The Backward OX · 05-06-2008, 05:20 AM

How would I need to portray a male character in order to make the women in the story want to initiate sexual contact with him? What characteristics should I give him?

I have one or two ideas and would like to see if your perceptions tally with mine.

It has to be believable, so no silly stuff thanks. No film actor stereotypes.

And I'd prefer not to read third-hand accounts from males of what they think women want. As I said, it has to be believable.

seigfried007 · 05-06-2008, 05:41 AM

Respect.

Bottom line, the sexiest thing a man can be is good with children, respectful and considerate of the needs of people around him. I prize workethic and a cheerful attitude above almost everything else.

That, and it helps if he looks good doing the dishes in his underwear

CodeRed · 05-06-2008, 09:33 AM

It depends - are you talking about on a purely superficial level? If so, then things like confidence without arrogance, quick wit, bedroom eyes that pay attention to little details, nicely shaped hands that know what they're doing... Seriously, for me there is nothing sexier than watching a man do something that he knows how to do well - it doesn't matter what it is, fixing a car, cook, piece together a puzzle... I don't care what it is, if he does it confidently, easily and without losing his temper at the little things that go wrong then, dang!

(That last one might even go a ways to explain the whole desperate housewife/handyman cliche

)

seigfried007 · 05-06-2008, 10:16 AM

I'll ditto Code too, but I don't mind man being an adorable klutz either.

Confidence is how a man can go from being a wrinkly, hairy old guy to super-babe. No kidding. The ugliest men are to die for if they have a walk and smile that is at ease with their surroundings. Everyone gravitates to people like that. Not arrogance--just an ease in one's skin.

smilinghelps · 05-06-2008, 10:36 AM

Confidence yes, but caring, sincerity, integrity.

If it's a casual meeting at a bar or a party, a guy across the room can get me to want to go talk to him by making eye contact and smiling. That man however, would have to look "put together", decent haircut, well groomed, dressed appropriately (no sports jerseys please) and a non-smoker. If he wants me to continue to talk to him, he must talk to me repectfully, have a sense of humor, be generally nice and have clean hands (nice fingernails) and clean, decent shoes.

Does that help at all?

I re-read your post and you're saying Initiate Sexual Contact--do you mean with someone they don't know?

I have sent a drink or two to men I found attractive at a bar, each time they were stunningly handsome and could be described much like I did above.

Maybe you should be asking some men what they were doing when they were approached by women initiating sexual contact.

lin · 05-06-2008, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Bottom line, the sexiest thing a man can be is good with children, respectful and considerate

Ever get the impression that a lot of women express a lot of absurd denial about sexuality? You're crazy asking women about sex: they train themselves not to know what they want.

alanmt · 05-06-2008, 11:06 AM

I could tell you how to portray a male character in order to make me want to initiate sexual contact with him, but I expect that my perspective as a guy who is attracted to guys would be different from a woman's perspective.

CodeRed · 05-06-2008, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lin

Ever get the impression that a lot of women express a lot of absurd denial about sexuality? You're crazy asking women about sex: they train themselves not to know what they want.

Speak for the women that you know intimately enough to pass that judgement on!

I know exactly what I want. Being prepared to share every little detail about it in a public forum is another matter entirely.

seigfried007 · 05-06-2008, 11:23 AM

What the hell was that about, lin? Ox asked ladies what we found attractive, and I told him *ta-da* I did on men who are comfortable with children--practiced big brothers, uncles, etc. Not pedophiles, but men who don't feel weird around babies and wouldn't necessarily mind having a few rugrats themselves one day.

Be a mom and you'd know what I'm talking about. I know lots of horrible fathers and I despise all of them for not having the decency to care for their own spawn. Of course, I consider responsible people to be far more attractive then irresponsible people. It's a very common thing in women, believe it or not--at least respectable non-ho-bag women. We're programmed ot look for men who would make good long-term partners.

But a man with a confident walk and smile, an easy (even if slightly predatory in some instances) manner, one at home in his skin who is clean and attentive--that man can woo even a devout woman from her usual sensibilities.

Loulou · 05-06-2008, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

How would I need to portray a male character in order to make the women in the story want to initiate sexual contact with him? What characteristics should I give him?

I think you're asking what characteristics a man 'should' have for a woman to sleep with him rather than begin a serious relationship with him? The two are very different, for me at least. If I just wanted a shag he'd have to be a little bit arrogant, confident, intense. Wouldn't have to be 'traditionally' good looking; it's all about the eyes and the demeanour. When a man looks at a woman a certain way she'll feel like initiating sexual contact. If this is about relationship qualities... well, that's a whole other story...

Malone · 05-06-2008, 02:53 PM

I'm furiously scribbling notes right now.

terrib · 05-06-2008, 03:20 PM

I think a nice smile, black, rimmed lashes and CodeRed hit it right on the head about the hands. I don't know what it is about a man's hands but....yeah, hands are a turn on. I personally like foreign men. There is nothing sexier than a accent. And smell, they have to smell good. If I'm in a store, airport or anywhere and a man smells good. I'll tell him.

HarryG · 05-06-2008, 03:22 PM

You're breaching my human rights, Ox, this is a mixed forum and you cannot exclude more than half the members from any discussion, so I'm pleased that some of the men have joined in.

I can't answer the OP anyway, but I would like to comment on some of the posts from the ladies, if you don't mind, OX.

Being a public forum, the ladies have answered diplomatically, and rightly so, but I don't believe they've been truthful.

What about being attracted to a man because he has appealing eyes and £8M in the bank (that's 16 million American Dollars, to save any confusion)?

And what about the 12 . . ., Christ I can't write it down, I'm being censored. But, should writers be censored? What about that mainstream film I watched on Sunday, the writer who put those words in his famous character's mouth should have had his washed out with disinfectant.

So, ladies don't the twelve in . . ., Christ, am I a man or a whimp?

Don't they count?

terrib · 05-06-2008, 03:24 PM

What the heck are the 12, Harry?

terrib · 05-06-2008, 03:27 PM

Oops....I just figured it out.

Personally, I've never had a one night stand but I really don't think women take a measuring tape in their purses.