Gunther409

*begins taking notes next to Malone* Good stuff, good stuff. Makes me realize a couple areas I could improve on myself.

It's always fascinating to me to hear the womans perspective (perhaps because I don't hear much of it from my female friends)

It is interesting to see that the sterio-types are true, girls like guys who are a jerks (phrased "arrogant" in this thread) have muscle, are clean, look good and are at least moderately intelligent. The only defining feature is that these are the sort of guys that they just want to have sex with. When they look for a husband, they look for much different things. Personality, ability to make them laugh and more focus on intelligence and finance. Though the other qualities mentioned for 'guys they wanna have sex with' are still relevant EXCEPT for arrogance. Just my observation from the conversation so far.

Kind of an interesting duality (i think that's the right word?) between the categories of 'boyfriend' and 'one-nighters'

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Foxee

Gunther, you beat me to it. I was just going to mention that the same attributes that might intensely attract someone at first may be the same attributes that make them a real pain to live with later.

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seigfried007

Arrogant isn't good, but confident can be. Arrogant means he won't try as hard to get the job done, so to speak. Confident mens he knows he can get her there

Biggest problem is that not everyone can distinguish the two and that lots of people are poor judges of character.

Jerks and quiet guys are often intriguing for a little while--they're mysterious and girls like puzzles.

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Mike C

Must be quite a talking point at dinner parties. That would definitely be an interesting attribute in female partners, though.

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FantasyWitch

Confidence is a good quality in a guy, but not confidence to the point of complete and utter arrogance. That is the complete turn off.
A man who a woman can confide in is always good, someone they can lean on, if they can't confide in them their is usually a lack of interest.
It would help to know what sort of woman you are portraying.

alanmt

pics please

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Sayuri

I have talked to many male friends about this subject. Women don't like guys who are jerks; women like guys who are men. "Jerk" is merely the closest a woman can find to "manly" sometimes.

And, yes, manliness includes qualities like confidence, intelligence, and musculature. But we don't want guys who treat us like crap; we want guys who are men--who know what they want and are willing to go after it.

Women have a similar complaint, you know. We watch our male friends go after the "crazy girl" time and time again... the girl who makes up melodrama and fake pregnancies or whatever, who makes up a whirlwind of crazy bullshit that leaves a guy feeling overwhelmed. But what guys want is not a crazy girl. They want an engaging girl. They want a girl who can keep them stimulated and entertained. It's just that crazy girls are more likely to do that than girls who aren't confident enough to say what they mean, to be opinionated, to call people on their shit, to be interesting. For them, the "crazy girl" is the closest they can find to the "interesting girl."

These are both problems that afflict young people, you see? Once men reach a certain age, they are confident enough to become manly; once women reach a certain age, they are confident enough to become engaging.

The Backward OX

That is without doubt one of the best-put together comments on this topic I have read.

Bottom line? Young people (of both sexes) haven’t got a clue – about anything.

Sayuri

Well, thank you. But I am twenty-five and I came to this realization at twenty-one -- in the parking lot of an Arby's, as a matter of fact, over a Philly sub with extra peppers and onions.

Also, when I was twenty-one, I decided that I would no longer date guys younger than thirty because, in my words at the time, "every guy who is thirty or older has had their will broken by some bitch who came before me." I don't know how wise my line of reasoning was, but its effects served me very well. I haven't had a single bad relationship since then.

I think the bottom line is that, as a woman, you better listen to your male friends, and as a man, you better listen to your female friends. I can instinctively tell when a woman is a crazy whore who shouldn't be bothered with; and my guy friends have always correctly interpreted whether a guy was a self-aggrandizing dickweed or a mature man. I can figure this out, too, given a few weeks; but m'boys can tell within a matter of seconds. It goes the same way for the other sex.

meldy

This is very, very true.

So long as the friend of the opposite sex is honest.

I have had male friends who seemed to hate everyone I dated but who, in the end, turned out to have been hoping to get into my pants themselves.
I was just to blind to see it.
I have also had jealous female friends.

Personally I liked using my brother as my screener. No alterior motives and he was always dead on.

I also agree with whoever said what women want for a one-nighter and what they want for a long term relationship are not always (or even usually) the same things.

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