Describing a major race for my story... - Writers Forum

kidstaple · 04-13-2008, 09:31 PM

I have this race called the Ixhatulens, which are really weird. I have all the description down, except for the last bit that seems to be killing me the most.

The part I'm having a hard time with is the races legs... They're like a horses to some degree... the way that they bend, almost in a lightning mark, sorta thing, that's how an Ixhatulens feet are shaped. I don't know how to describe it, and I don't know if it has a technical term, so if someone knows, please, I'm begging you, I need help.

Thanks in advance.

rumpole40k · 04-14-2008, 08:51 AM

" ... with legs bending inward ..."

"... with legs that fold upon themselves ..."

" ... with legs like a horse ..."

???????????????????????????????????????????

omginternetlord · 04-14-2008, 10:54 AM

Goat-legged?

seigfried007 · 04-14-2008, 02:04 PM

I've got the same problem with describing my Knyran race--been trying for years but everyone sees them differently.

Have a more humanoid person walk on scene and attempt describing the weirdness of the spring-like gait, the obscene length of foot and relative shortness of thigh. Also, the term "walks on its toes" works well for me because, naturally, if you walk on your toes, your heel is up in the air which gives your legs that 'lightning bolt' characteristic and decidedly springy gait.

However, the pose is hard to maintain without bending the shoulders forward and the rear backward unless the race also has a rather lengthly, fleshy (or at least fairly heavy) tail as a counterbalance.

kidstaple · 04-14-2008, 05:41 PM

Wow. That really helps. Thanks for the help you guys! I'll experiment with your advice and see what I can come up with!

Destroyer · 04-15-2008, 04:01 AM

I don't have much problem describing my aliens, since my main character is the one seeing them and she just compares them with the closest creature from Earth. Maybe you could give this a try.

RebelGoddess · 04-15-2008, 04:59 AM

I can't visualize the legs you're describing, but here's a trick I use when describing something I've made-up/created for a story.

Picture it (the legs, I guess) in your mind.

Now, without thinking too hard, write down in the simplest language you can what you see; don't worry about full sentances or it even sounding good.

Write down as much as you can, down to the tiniest, minute detail.

Now read what you wrote and see if you can create a more eloquent, "novel-ready" description from that.

Basically, what I've found is that this technique allows me to focus on the creature/object/place/whatever itself without letting the writer part of me take over and try to make it sound good.

Boiling your creation down to the simplest description possible should get you the foundation you need to write your perfect description.

Also, if your creation has a basis in the real world, such as how you said the legs are similar to a horse's, try googling the image and analyzing it, describing it the same way I suggested above.

Hope this help!

Racheal

seigfried007 · 04-15-2008, 05:13 AM

Btw, kidstaple, do they have toes or hooves (or something else)? You mentioned 'like a horse' but I wasn't certain if you were meaning just the 'short thighs, long calves, long feet, walks on toes' aspect if they actually had hooves.

My knyrans are actually closer to kangaroos than horses in leg and tail structure (hip and spine structures are entirely different because they don't hop or stoop over)--very elongate legs, tail as a counterbalance when running. I've had people compare them most frequently to fauns, kangaroos and bipedal dinosaurs.

Wasn't sure if that was anywhere close enough to the mark to help, but I tried