meldy

I am writing a story (so far) but am 3000 words into it and nothing has happened yet and wont happen for probably another 1000.

I was just wondering if that is too long to go without some sort of climax or action.
Its kinda of a lot of intro of only one character so far and I am not sure what to eliminate to tighten it up.

I was also wondering if there is a good program to scan for things like sentance structure, puntuation etc. as I am not very strong in that regard and am concerned I am not structuring the story correctly.

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fjf1329

I don't know about a computer program. I really doubt that it could ever be any more than a general guide.

As far as the story... 4,000 words without any action is beginning to get long. Can you break up your introduction and save something about the character that will make itself evident as the story unfolds, perhaps in dialogue, or circumstance?

I just finished a short story of 4500 words about one character and I'm worried that it contains too many he(s), his (s), and a first name.

Hobbes

It really depends on the story. There's a lot of literary stuff that seems to go on for 5,000 words without anything whatsoever happening, so you'll almost certainly find a home in that genre, if nowhere else. However, if the story is going in a direction you don't want it to go in, change it - or write another story that's better.

Be thankful you weren't 30,000 words into a novel before you figured this out. As a short, it's far easier to identify, rectify, and improve from in the future. :^)

wmd

Is it a short story you are writing or something longer?

As a short that seems to be a lot of wasted words. If it is a novel, it is still a long time, but written right can still work.

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Lost in Some Story

Les Miserables rambled on for about 150 pages about a little city in France and the priest who lived there before anything ever happened.

Granted it was about 1400 pages.

I say write the thing and cut what you need to after it's finished. The first draft doesn't have to be perfect anyway.

Lost

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lin

Or wait until you're stumped and use the downtime to work over what you have. The advantage of cleaning up as you go is that you learn and therefore have less mess to pick up later.

There are programs to do a lot of things, but what you're talking about is essentially writing your book for you. Doesn't work that way. The things you are weak at are the things you end up putting more attention to...sooner or later.

Regarding nuttin hoppens, I am not a fan of the "jump out and grab em on the first page" school. But if it worries you, have some immediate actions of cool stuff, then go back and explain them.

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Shawn

If your characters are really great, it won't matter how long they go on.

Kinda like if you really love Patricia Routledge, it doesn't matter how shrill she becomes, you still love her.

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ClancyBoy

If you're aiming it at a mature audience I think it's perfectly ok. If you want it to get good reviews on this forum I would stick a lesbian vampire robot somewhere in the first paragraph.

Microsoft Word?

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Shawn

That's a fair statement.

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meldy

Thanks everybody.

I am aiming for a novel but have limited experience and havent really written anything longer than about 2500 words. Most of that was essays and non fiction.
So its a bit of a stretch to expect to bang out a novel. I know.

I am also writing for the young adult market. Which is why I am a bit concerned there is a lot of backstory and character development and not a lot of action or lesbian vampire robots with magical powers (ROFLMAO)

I welcome critiques of my writing and at the same time am a bit paranoid about posting it to be torn apart by lesbian vampire robot lovers.

Thanks everybody.

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I thought about building you a raft to survive the river of tears I am crying for you but the worlds smallest violins just arent a realible source of lumber. And that cross you are nailing yourself to seems bouyant enough anyway- G. House.

meldy

I have Word.....and it's not finding anything. I think I might just have something of a complex about the issue

Another wierd question.

Names....my story/novel, whatever you want to call it, is loosely based on my life so the people in it are real. Or at least they are representations of real people.

Can I use some real names? There are people out there who I would like to give a nod to, good, honest people. It would be a first name only thing but enough details would be present for that person to recognize themselves.

Along the same line I have people who were almost evil incarnate. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration but you get my meaning. Can I change their name enough so that they might know its them as well?

IE: last name in reality is Leghorn..can I exchange that for something like Bantam or Orpington and still be outside the realm of reality enough to be safe?

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I thought about building you a raft to survive the river of tears I am crying for you but the worlds smallest violins just arent a realible source of lumber. And that cross you are nailing yourself to seems bouyant enough anyway- G. House.

Mike C

Cut the first 4k words.

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Hobbes

I wouldn't use real names if I were you. People are fickle, and you can never tell how people will feel about being immortalized (for better, or for worse) in someone else's text for all the world to see.

Just use your imagination and make up some names. Save the nods for the acknowledgments section, if you *really* have to mention people by name.

meldy

Thanks..I will take that into account.
You must be a lesbian vampire robot fan. More power too ya.
Not really sure why you even bothered to post that but thanks for the effort.
Much appreciated.

Having a dialogue problem Mike C..feel free not to comment.

Here is what I have:
“Whats up?” she repeated my query, “She asks me what's up. What’s up? of all things,” her voice got higher as she talked to herself, or invisible people, or something. She was definitely keyed up. Her excitement made me nervous.

Now how do I word this so it is correct but still keeps the feel of it.
If that even makes sense.

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I thought about building you a raft to survive the river of tears I am crying for you but the worlds smallest violins just arent a realible source of lumber. And that cross you are nailing yourself to seems bouyant enough anyway- G. House.

Mike C

If you don't understand, just say so. To go 4k into a YA novel without much happening isn't going to win you many readers. Try it this way - I think it was Joe Moore who, when replying to a similar question, suggested switching the first and second chapters. Younger readers on the whole have shorter attention spans and you need to grab them before the pull of the x-box gets too strong and they abandon your book, probably never to return. More importantly, you need to grab your prospective agent or publisher before they throw it on the reject pile and pick up the next from the pile of 200 manuscripts that arrived that morning.

As requested, I'll leave you to ponder your dailogue.

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