JP Wagner

As some of you know, I've been querying to agents for my sci fi novel "Fursona" for about a month now. (i kno, not long in the long run) but I was looking over my older synopsis and came to the conclusion it might not be interesting enough. so I scrapped it and am trying to write a new one. I was hoping some people here might comment on what I have so far. (excuse any spelling grammar mistakes, right now I'm just going for content.)


Francis Robert Fox has been a "furry" all of his life. Not an anthropomorphic half animal half human, but a member of the furry fandom who appreciates such creatures. Many "furries" fashion themselves a “fursona”; a fictional alter ego, imagining themselves combined with a specific animal. In Frank’s case, his fursona is not only his ideal self, but what he considers to be the real him, his trapped inner spirit.
After living in the furry capital of the world for several months and finding out he is not alone in his feelings, Frank takes a trek through the mountains to find a hidden community called Furtopia. This community, through genetic engineering with animal DNA, turns his fursona from dream to reality. There is one condition: he must remain within the confines of their city for the rest of his life. At first Frank is fine with this, but as time goes on he begins to question if he can really live a full life where he is, and soon comes to realize that the pills they are forcing him to take are the only things keeping him from giving into the violent animal instincts swelling up inside him.
As the months pass he falls in love, joins a group of rebels, intent on breaking out of the community, and learns that the line between instinct and reason is thinner than one might think, all the while asking himself; what is animal and what is human.



if you were an agent would u be interested? be honest. (i kno i prolly have alot of things wrong here) i dont care how brutal you might sound, honesty helps. heh.

thanks in advance for the help.

__________________
Quoth The Raven "Nevermore"

Mike C

To be honest, I can't think of an agent who'd be interested in furry fiction. Is there much market for it?

__________________
My writing
My Photo Blog
Web design for Writers
The Oddville Press

JP Wagner

it's not furry fiction. it's science fiction dealing with furries.
there is a whole furry fandom outthere, alot of the websites have numbers higher than 30,000.

brian jaques's redwall series sold extraordinarily well, and that's a furry series basically. heh.

but its not a novel FOR furries even though it's about them. (and for the record, no I'm not a furry) i just wanted to write about this subject and doing the inverse of island of Dr. Moraeu seemed the best way.
it's general themes are prejudice, instinct vs reason, and betrayal and self betrayal. it should appeal to general readers, general sci fi readers, fans of the instinct vs reason debate and those who like the question of is human divine or animal. truthfully, the furry part is mostly incidental.

__________________
Quoth The Raven "Nevermore"

WriterJohnB

I think you should focus on the dilemma rather than the furry lifestyle. Put that up front. I immediately thought "he's been furry all his life, huh? Did he do "furry" things as an infant?"

Cut anything not necessary to the storyline, such as "takes a trek through the mountains."

A fine line doesn't blur differences, a wide line does.

Don't introduce your character as Francis and then call him Frank from then on. This isn't Frank's resume, we don't need his legal name. In fact, I think "Frank Fox" is too blatant a play. How about something along the lines of Will Foxworthy?

Here's my re-write, something you might hear from Rod Serling, introducing a story for The Twilight Zone, as best I could do.

Let me know what you think; I'll check back on this thread.

[quote=JP Wagner]
There's a bit of "beast" in all of us. The line between instinct and reason is not as sharp as one might think, blurring the distinctions between what is animal and what is human. Would it be tempting fate for a man to step too close to that line?

Frank Fox has been drawn into the "furry" lifestyle, for reasons he can't fully explain to himself. What is it that makes the anthropomorpic half-animal, half-human furries so intriguing that he's become part of the furry fandom? Why does he need a a fictional alter ego, or 'fursona,” imagining himself to be part animal. Does it reveal the real him, freeing his trapped inner spirit?
After living in the furry world for several months, he learns there are some who have taken this way of life even further. Frank journeys to find a hidden community called Furtopia. This community, through genetic engineering with animal DNA, turns his fursona from dream to reality. At first Frank is fine with this, but eventually he begins to question if he can really live a full life in this manner. He also comes to realize the furtopians are drugging him, giving him pills to keep him from giving into violent animal instincts. Frank cannot leave their strange community without losing his humanity.





quote]

__________________
http://www.johnbushore.com

jesterscourt

"All the kids will eat it up, if it's packaged properly" - Kurt Cobain

With that idea in mind, I suppose there is some audience for this, but I wouldn't make the whole "furry" aspect of it the very first thing a person reads about your novel.

CaptainFreedom

Is 'furry' a term that everybody knows but me?

I checked on google and as far as I can tell it's a fetish where people imagine themselves as animals?

Reading your query letter though, I was lost trying to figure out what you were talking about. (maybe I still don't get it) Anyway, maybe you should put in a sentence on what a furry is.

CF

JP Wagner

[quote=WriterJohnB]I think you should focus on the dilemma rather than the furry lifestyle. Put that up front. I immediately thought "he's been furry all his life, huh? Did he do "furry" things as an infant?"

Cut anything not necessary to the storyline, such as "takes a trek through the mountains."

A fine line doesn't blur differences, a wide line does.

Don't introduce your character as Francis and then call him Frank from then on. This isn't Frank's resume, we don't need his legal name. In fact, I think "Frank Fox" is too blatant a play. How about something along the lines of Will Foxworthy?

Here's my re-write, something you might hear from Rod Serling, introducing a story for The Twilight Zone, as best I could do.

Let me know what you think; I'll check back on this thread.

actually his real name is Franchesco Tomelo Lombardo, he changed it to Francis Robert Fox to fit his "fursona" heh.

i like your rewrite, and some elements I may use from it if you don't mind. thank you for your help and suggestions.

Any more help, is greatly welcome. keep it coming! heh.

__________________
Quoth The Raven "Nevermore"

JP Wagner

anymore help? anyone? any thoughts on how to improve the query?

__________________
Quoth The Raven "Nevermore"

Mike C

I still think you're backing a loser with the furry thing - it has too many weirdo connotations for any agent to read beyond the word 'furry'. Certainly as an editor I would have hit the reject button the moment I saw it.

And the anthropomorphising of animals as done by Jaques, and in the Narnia books, amongst others, is a world away from what furriness represents.

__________________
My writing
My Photo Blog
Web design for Writers
The Oddville Press

Shawn

You're writing a synopsis, not a dust jacket blurb. You need a catch. Remember that agents are reading hundreds of these things in a very short amount of time, it's easy to get lost in the crowd.

I agree about the "furry" thing... What really needs to be written is a book about the creepiness of the whole thing.

__________________
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

JP Wagner

this is a book about the creepiness of the whole thing. and about how far it can go. there isnt one thing is this book that supports furryism whatsoever, its all about people trying to change whats natural.

and ur right mike c, agents with a closed mind would prolly reject it very fast. but this is the first book ive reckognized thats actually about furries themselves. so the ones looking for new things and more open minded ones might take a look.

and as ive said, im using furryism to explore the extremes of other problems many people have, so if some of the people who call themselves professionals in the business can get past certain taboo words (the ones who reject based on single words are the ones who always publish the same type of bullshit and the ones who always remain unsuscessful) and looked at the thing itself, they would realize this. i know that many agents gets hundreds of submissions a day, and pick and choose very hastily, but there are some out there who are more open minded. those are the ones im shooting for.

so with all due respect, i didnt ask "can this book be sold or not" i kno my chances. im just asking about the query letter and the query letter only.

thank you in advance for your time.

__________________
Quoth The Raven "Nevermore"

lisajane

What on earth is a 'furry'?

__________________
'Beauty stands and waits with gravity to start her death-defying leap. And he, a little charleychaplin man, who may or may not catch her fair eternal form spreadeagled in the empty air of existence.' - Laurence Felinghetti, 'The Acrobat'

jesterscourt

lin

I seriously doubt any agent would read past the first sentence or two.

JP Wagner

well u might be right, u might not, but some sort of help as to how i can imrpove that might go along well with the criticism. heh.

im all open for people telling me i suck as long as they tell me a way to unsuck.

__________________
Quoth The Raven "Nevermore"