Autobiography - Legal Questions - Writers Forum

Phantom Writer · 05-03-2007, 01:57 AM

Hello. I am new to the forum. I have been searching the internet and just can't find any answers to my questions. Maybe you folks can help me out a little. I know its always best to consult an attorney, but I am trying to keep my costs down.....I eventually will have to consult one, but was hoping some of you may have had this situation and could tell me how you handled it.

I am the divorced wife of someone in the music business. I am writing about the near decade I spent with this person and his family. If I write this based on fictional characters, the story will never get anywhere. This families name is what people will notice and want to read about (at least locally if nothing else).

What legalities do I face in using our real names? Obviously, my ex is againts me writing this book (as is his family) but I want the truth to be known....or at least allow people to see what I lived and be able to draw their own conclusions.

I am prepared for the negative backlash I will receive from some supporters of this family. I can prove parts of my story via emails, instant messages, witnesses, medical records, etc, but how do I prove what went on behind closed doors? It's a "my word against theirs" situation.

This book isn't just about them, it's about my faults and wrong doing as well. I am no Saint, nor was I perfect in my marriage.

Can I legally use their real names without permission?

Thanks for any help!

je33ie · 05-03-2007, 02:09 AM

Not sure about the legal implications but you should read as many similar autobiographies as possible - the one by Ozzie Osbourne's wife springs to mind. Even though she is still with her husband, there would have been incidents described in there that he was less than happy with. You could even try contacting their agents with questions you might have - if your ex is someone they are interested in they might even give you free advice.

Hope this helps!

HarryG · 05-03-2007, 02:56 AM

Under UK law, you cannot be sued for libel if you are telling the truth, and I’m pretty sure it’s the same in the US. Where you can get into trouble is when you try and comment on why others did what they did.

A publisher would not publish such a biography without having his legal advisor study it, but the main principle remains, the telling of the truth. In this respect, any evidence, such as emails and doctor’s reports are invaluable.

Depending on the fame of the persons involved, you are almost guaranteed a publishing deal, and I would let others worry about the legal aspects – they will soon advise you.

Rather than worry about the legal aspects, maybe consideration should be given to what such disclosures do to the people involved – do they deserve it?

Phantom Writer · 05-03-2007, 03:48 AM

Thank you for your replies. Do they deserve it? Good question Harry.

I've honeslty never thought about it from that aspect. It was more of a "I want the public to know". This is not a super famous family, however, their name is known nearly worldwide (musicians, not singers). My ex father-in-law (whom I never had the pleasure of meeting, he passed away in 97, and from all accounts I believe him to be a good man) in in the Country Music Hall of Fame. The man was a musical genius and featured in many magazines. His eldest son, my former husband, is who the book will be primarily about (along with a wretched mother-in-law).

There are similar stories out there to mine, i'm sure.....but the name of the family will be what gets the attention of the public.

I will admit that this book is being written in part to expose a side of them that no one knows, and a part is written on how I finally was able to get away from them and discover my own self worth.

I lived a HARD life while married into that family, some of it by my own wrong doing and bad choices, some of it not. I want the readers to know that you can go through many, many battles in your life and still find a light at the end of your tunnel.

The whole issue with the names is honestly more of a selling point for me. Not many of us want or can afford to write for free (although that is what happens to us most of the time....lol).

I could write with fictitious names and have my book sit on the shelf next to the other 3,000 stories like my own, or I could use real names and have it being sold to the public and help provide for my family (me and my 2 sons).

I admit, I am torn. I was left with nothing out of this marriage but extreme debt. He does not help me in providing for our child in any shape, form, or fashion - however he leads the music community and general public on to believe he does. That is one thing that can be proven. I was left with 2 non-curable (one fatal) STD's out of the marriage - proven by my medical records from when we first married (I did not have them) until the end (where I am now diagnosed) (not AIDS, but one is fatal).

This "wonderful man" has sentenced me to death. My prognosis is 10 years. I am 33 years old. Who will care for my children when I am gone? They could recieve royalties from this book if I write it.

This is only the tip of the iceburg, but I am telling the forum this because none of you are biased to this situation, and perhaps help me shed light on if I am truly writing for the right reasons.

Do they deserve it? I don't know. Did I deserve to die before I'm 45? My kids don't think so.

lisajane · 05-03-2007, 04:50 AM

I say go ahead and write it. Also read Angela Bowie's 'Backstage Passes', though it was writen in 1993 so it might be hard to find. It's mostly about sex, but it does give what I feel a good perspective on a famous musician's ex wife (even if she is off her tree).

If you feel this strongly about what's happened, go ahead and write it and use their real names. Sure, you'll get negative responses, but if it's written well, you've get positive ones too. The only thing you'll need to be careful of is a gag order, if you have one, you won't be able to write the book until the order's lifted.

Phantom Writer · 05-03-2007, 05:11 AM

Fortunately, there is no gag order. And thanks for giving the name of that book...I'l' definitely pick up a copy....bet Amazon or ebay has one!

I'm really appreciating all your responses. My ex and his mother have already threatened to sue me if I write this book, which is why I'm trying to go about this as safe as possible.

I'm trying to figure out how some authors write books on former Presidents and the such (without permission) and other ex wives/husbands write about their lives (celebrities or even just average people)........some you hear of getting sued.....some you don't.

I have obtained emails my former mother in law has written about me, however I dd not obtain them with her consent. I did not hack into her email account nor did anyone else, she was just too "free" with her password. Things like that, I don't know if I can use. I would love to publish them. She makes it known how much she loved her former daughter-in-law (me) and never said a harsh word against me. Her emails show otherwise.

Those are things I will have to deal with later on I guess. Right now, I'm in the rough draft process and when I start writing I just want to use the right name (factual or fictional) so that I don't have to go back and change it all....lol. That would be a PITA!

mammamaia · 05-03-2007, 04:57 PM

you can 'legally' write anything you want... the question is, what can you be sued for writing?

plus, what publisher is going to want to risk the suit/s?... if the person is famous enough, any legal costs may be offset by potential sales, due to the publicity it will engender...

you're in a double bind here... 1. if you use real names, you can be sued and quite possibly not be able to find a publisher willing to take it on... but, 2. if you change the names to protect the guilty, it becomes fiction and its marketability goes down to next to nil...

also needing to be considered is that even if you do use fake names, you can still be sued, if anyone can recognize the parties...

that said, tell-all books get published all the time... but you really need to consult a literary attorney, before going any further... this is not the right place to get valid legal advice...

Phantom Writer · 05-03-2007, 06:45 PM

Thanks mamma....you bring up some good points.

I am thinking of self-publishing. Probably not the smartest move, but I will be able to do it at a very reasonable cost as I know people in the business who will help me for next to nothing.

Marketing becomes an issue when you self publish though. However, I'm not looking to be on the NYT Best Sellers list....

I live in Nashville, TN and know the book would do well locally. It would also do well in Japan and Germany I believe. I am pretty internet savvy and have already obtained an interest just by having a MySpace page about me writing the book. I can build my own websites, or use places like Amazon to sell it as well.

I don't see me making millions (lol) off this book unless I got lucky and someone wanted to buy the rights to it once it was published......but I do believe I can make a fair profit and sustain public interest, especially as the career of my ex grows. The more known he becomes, the better the book would sell. As I stated, they are not super famous....but in the genre of music in which they work....they are well known as musicians.

IfI self publish, any suits would be filed against me and not a publishing company. Being that I was left with nothing, I have nothing they can sue me for. Sure, they may get a monetary judgement against me....and any money I make from the book may have to go towards paying them off.....but hey.....that brings an interest to write another book as a follow up.

I wonder if I could legally have it drawn up so that ALL proceeds from the book went into a trust fund for my children? Could a court grant them judgement and take those funds at that point? I could care less f they win a judgement against me. You can't get blood out of a turnip.

The more I think about things, the more I realize I am going to have to take the chance and use their real names. Otherwise, no one will care to even read the book.

I can fictionalize some of the names of country music singers and such....no need to call them out on anything and risk a lawsuit from them and honestly I dont have any good "dirt" on them.....just my interactions with them and what I have witnessed in my mother-in-laws interactions with them.

To be quite honest, my ex and his family are now just as broke as I am (drug abuse and bad habits cost them everything). They won't be able to afford a long, drawn out legal battle. They don't want people to know they are broke...but they are - flat broke (as I said, I am not even receiving child support) and if I push it to the courts.....I am threatened in every way imagineable.

It amazes me at the smoke and mirrors around this family. To the public they appear to be doing well in all aspects.....but the reality is that its a completely different story.

Thanks again for all your replies.....you're keeping me thinking.....lol

mammamaia · 05-03-2007, 07:41 PM

Quote:

IfI self publish, any suits would be filed against me and not a publishing company. Being that I was left with nothing, I have nothing they can sue me for. Sure, they may get a monetary judgement against me....and any money I make from the book may have to go towards paying them off.....but hey.....that brings an interest to write another book as a follow up.

not your main worry... your main problem is that they can very well get an injunction to keep you from being able to sell the books at all... plus, be awarded damages that can take all you will ever own/earn for the rest of your life...

Quote:

I wonder if I could legally have it drawn up so that ALL proceeds from the book went into a trust fund for my children? Could a court grant them judgement and take those funds at that point? I could care less f they win a judgement against me. You can't get blood out of a turnip.

that's what oj did and has been villified for it... what the result to you and your kids would be, will depend on which state/country you live in...

T

Quote:

he more I think about things, the more I realize I am going to have to take the chance and use their real names. Otherwise, no one will care to even read the book.

again, i must strongly urge you to consult a literary attorney, before going any further!... it's not as simple as you seem to think...

Quote:

I can fictionalize some of the names of country music singers and such....

not if you're writing a non-fiction book... it wouldn't make any sense and people would know who they are, anyway...

Quote:

no need to call them out on anything and risk a lawsuit from them and honestly I dont have any good "dirt" on them.....just my interactions with them and what I have witnessed in my mother-in-laws interactions with them.

big names have big legal budgets!... and you have none... just their names and some events they were involved in appearing in a tell-all book may offend/upset some of them to the point of suing...

Quote:

To be quite honest, my ex and his family are now just as broke as I am (drug abuse and bad habits cost them everything). They won't be able to afford a long, drawn out legal battle.

sorry, but that's just plain silly!... you must have noticed there are lots of lawyers out there who take such cases 'on contingency'... either for the money they see possible at the end, or just for the publicity...

Quote:

They don't want people to know they are broke...but they are - flat broke (as I said, I am not even receiving child support) and if I push it to the courts.....I am threatened in every way imagineable.

writing such a book could impact on you negatively, if you do go to court for support in the future... you don't know what you're dealing with here and really DO need a good attorney...

Quote:

It amazes me at the smoke and mirrors around this family. To the public they appear to be doing well in all aspects.....but the reality is that its a completely different story.

so, what else is new?... sadly, your story is not news and not any different from so many others... i can sympathize [and even empathize, having been in the same boat] with your wanting to 'get back' and have the 'truth' known, but you're not going about this in the wisest way... hie thee to an attorney, girl!!!

love and been-there hugs, m

je33ie · 05-04-2007, 04:22 AM

The family might be famous, although I've googled Hall of Fame entrants who died in 1997 and it comes up with nothing... so I'm not sure how famous your family is. Be careful about assuming your book will sell well just because you have a name. You have to make it believable and overall a good story that people will actually want to read. Emails as 'proof' won't work, emails are so easily forged they will be quickly dismissed by your mother-in-law as fakes.

If you're mainly looking at exposing the family to your local area, have you considered selling part of your story to a magazine, seeing the response, then writing a book? With a bit of interest out there you might even get a publisher come to you.

Also, if you have enough money to self-publish, use that money on getting good legal advice instead. Mamma talks sense.

HarryG · 05-04-2007, 05:18 AM

Without commenting on the specific issues of this thread, I must say that I am again amazed by continuous advice from American contributors that authors practically need to consult a lawyer before they put pen to paper on almost any topic.

We also have a compensation culture in the UK, a recent phenomenon, but the US attitude is way over the top, in my view; from what I’ve been reading here it impinges on personal freedom.

If writers cannot comment on contentious issues, as they should and always have done, then what sort of society are we living in? And, if they don’t toe the line, as well as being sued, are they sent away somewhere? Is that the next step, a Guantanamo Bay for writers who dare speak the truth? Russian writers suffered under a communist regime, are we going to suffer the same fate in the West?

I honestly believe that the freedoms won in the sixties and seventies are being reversed by successive, repressive, and religious fanatical movements of today, and not just in the US.

Maybe it’s time to let our hair grow again and start picking the flowers, before we all drown in a sea of politically correct mediocrity.

Phantom Writer · 05-04-2007, 06:18 AM

Harry, I couldn't have said it better myself. When someone writes an autobiobrapgy (or biography, or whatever), the other parties involved have just as much right to write their own book, tell their own story, to make their own viewpoint, however different, be heard.

Unfortunately, it does not work that way here in America. Everyone wants to run to the courts. Our courts have become a mockery to the world. Granted, something needs to be in place to keep someone like me from totally writing to ruin others but at the same time allows me (and others like me) to tell our stories. What that is, I don't know. It is and always will be impossible to "prove" what went on behind closed doors in a relationship.

In my perfect world, I'd say - let them duke it out in books. Let them both say what they want to say, let the public read it, and then let everyone make their own decision based on the information provided. Of course, in my perfect world, I love books....lol. Not everyone does.

Jessie, as I've stated before, this is not a super famous family and they would only be known within the genre of music in which they played. Also, "musicians" as a person rarely become famous as they are not the frontrunner. How many musicians can you name who played for AeroSmith? For George Strait? For Green Day? The average person can't name one single musician who plays for those artists because we always learn who the artist is and not the people who make them. However, within the music circle, most everyone would know the names of the musicians as well as the artist. I'm sure in the world of painting, where I have heard of Van Gogh and others, there is some big name that I have no idea who the person is......however, people in the art industry may very well be familiar with him. Thats why I've maintained that this would do well locally (perhaps moreso in other areas but maybe not). Also, as the career grows, so does the interest. It was my ex husbands father who is in the CMHF, not my ex husband. It is my ex husband who is working with those same people his father did though, which has gotten his name a little notoriety as well.

It's kind of like....who would have wanted to read about Dale Jr 12 years ago? Not many people. Now, he is his own name however. So even though, if I gave the name here, 8 out of 10 of you would have probably never heard of him, its those 2 out of 10 that would make the book sell. Instead of sitting on a shelf competing for your attention with hundreds of other books with the same story, 2 of you may actually pick it up based on simple curiosity of knowing the name.

I REALLY am liking the responses. It's making me look at whole new perspectves here. Excuse any typos...lol...its early

je33ie · 05-04-2007, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phantom Writer

I REALLY am liking the responses. It's making me look at whole new perspectves here. Excuse any typos...lol...its early

Hey, your wiriting is great! No typos at all.

I see what you mean about the 2 out of 10. I don't know who Dale Jr is, but then again your book might never make it to shelves I see anyway. If I ever travel to Nashville though I'll look out for it!

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

Phantom Writer · 05-04-2007, 06:43 AM

lol...actually there was a typo....and I didn't catch it until you quoted it...lol

"I REALLY am liking the responses. It's making me look at whole new perspectves here. Excuse any typos...lol...its early"

should read

"I REALLY am liking the responses. It's making me look at whole new perspectives here. Excuse any typos...lol...its early"

I'm anal that way...lol. Thanks Jessie...now I'll be going back over everything I've written.....lol.

Mike C · 05-04-2007, 06:49 AM

Publish and be damned, I say.

And DO NOT self-publish. If the story is deserving of the telling, a mainstream publisher will snap it up. It's something you can start querying agents with up-front, before it's even written, if the names are well known. Also, if you self-publish and it ends up in court, there's only one line of defence - you. If a mainstream publisher takes it on, their lawyers will also be part of the deal.

Also, you'll make more money.