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HELP ME!!! writing a gothic romance kind of thing...tell me what you think
I'm writing a book and a girl named Aris meets a boy named Dante after a series of horrifying events that killed her friend. Its been many years since and shes finally getting over it she starts falling for Dante he takes her to a fancy restaurant she starts flipping through the menu when she gets a slice on her finger heres part of it...Also the tear part is because shes confused and her tears are sometimes triggered by anger and her emotions.yes shes completely human
slowly the blood started to trickle out.
"Clumsy of me" Aris said
she looked up and was surprised to see Dante's eyes dialating to a huge size. His entire eye was almost black his face was contorted with an emotion that she couldn't decipher. Suddenly he got up so fast his chair toppled over behind him and he rushed out of the restaurant at a speed she had recently had thought was impossible leaving me flabberghasted in his wake.
"What the hell?" I said mad for some reason.
Suddenly the waiter appeared with our cokes and I brushed my tears away quickly I smiled up at him. He set them down
" May I ask you something ma'am?" He questioned gently. apparently I hadn't hid my feelings very well. Figures.
"Sure. Go ahead."
He sat down then suddenly looked up at me. He was cute.
"Is it all right if I sit?" he asked concerned that he'd might have upset me if he sat there.
"Is that your question?" I laughed out
He suddenly smiled back at me seeming to be embarassed by that.
"No. Not really."
He was smiling at me through his long black hair with his innocent deep brown eyes. He was obviously shy I could tell from the way he held himself.
"First I want to know if I can get you anything?"
"No I'm good" I said
I felt almost drunk.Though I'd never been drunk so I couldn't possibly really feel that way. Just my manners. I should be being polite and all english grammarish but as close as I was getting to being mannerish was using no instead of nah.
"Alright then."
"So uh what do ya want?"
He straightened up. Alls I could think of was that I had made him feel unwelcome.Now I felt bad. I hated myself.
"Sorry. Excuse my bad manners."
"Is there something wrong?"
"No not really just that my date ran out before he even got the bill for our drinks.Left me to pay for them."
"How about I pay for them, for you?"
I giggled.he was cute and a gentlemen. Too bad it wasn't Dante sitting in his place right now .Sucks for me. I can never win.
"You don't have to do that for me..."
Uh oh I only had a dollar anyway if he doesn't pay for them I'd be screwed
"No problem."
He got up I followed his example and pulled the 1 dollar from my pocket and layed it on the table for a scrawny tip. He looked at it and once again I felt bad so before I could stop myself I said
"It's all I have."
He chuckled staring at me through his long black gorgeous hair.
"Then how are you supposed to pay for the drinks?"
I flushed red .I hated the way my body always gave away my feelings without permission.
"I don't know really. I was expecting Dante to be here about now. But I guess he had better things to be doing or something."
"No no its fine I have no problem paying for them. He set a five dollar bill on the table and walked up to me and whispered
"Come with me out back so we can talk with out an audience"
I looked around and realized there were lots of eyes hooked onto me and my mystery guy waiter.
"Sure."
He started walking toward the back of the restaurant I followed helplessly like a lost puppy. When we reached the back he opened a metallic complicated heavy door and stepped outside. I continued on wondering why they would have such an intricate metal door just to get to the outside of the restaurant. When we were both outside in the winter air I finally spoke to him shivering slightly
"Wow sure is cold.What are we out here for again?"
"I just wanted to talk to a beautiful young lady without making a scene. I'm not sure if you noticed but half of the population of Kumuaba were staring at us."
"I noticed a few people."
"Well I'm not really used to an audience.I like my privacy."
"Yea. I know. It did feel a little weird."
" I feel like I know you." he said suddenly.
I stopped. I had felt the same.
"Yeah me too again," I said giggling "But that couldn't be possible though could it? I've only just moved here.Anyways no one's ever talked to me before I meet Dante. You'd be about I'd register the fifth."
"No way! I'd think every boy from planet Earth to another galaxy would be waiting in line just for a hello from you." he said sarcastically.But I sensed he was actually beeing honest but covering it with humor
We both burst out laughing. That struck me as funny in a negative sort of way.
"Your crazy!" I said "I want to know your name."
"What?! Just because I'm crazy you want to know my name? I don't think so little miss. I'd like to know your's first."
"Ah...why?" I said sarcastically playing his game
"Hmm...I can think of a number of reasons to know your name. My number one would be, so I could ask your number and when the little lady picked up the phone I could say her name.How's that?"
"Oh ok fine I'll tell you but then you have to tell me yours," I was really getting into him he was nice and funny and easy to talk to from what I could tell.
"Deal !" He cried sarcastically
"Ok then my name is Aris."
"No way! Like the goddess of discourt?!" he said chuckling
"Huh! Don't make fun of what my name is! You never know I might think your name is hilarious!" I retorted childishly "What's your name now?"
ok that was just a little clip ususally Dante is a really nice guy who she loves to be around. Little does she know hes actually a vampire, therefore explaining his odd behavior. I needed help on this part. Just a few minor question. First off should she fall for Mystery guy? Second Dante or Mystery guy as her lover? Third should the mystery guy be some sort of fantasy creature like a vampire,werewolf,part phoenix or bird some gothic kind of creature if so? I know I should put myself in her shoes but the two about her lover are questions in my mind I can't seem to answer. But I really want to kow is should the 'mystery guy' be another creature besides human?
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