Quote:
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Originally Posted by Fantasy of You
Why do you need italics?
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He'd be spending the rest of the afternoon working on this "small favor" for him. Maybe he could just hang up now. So what if he got fired? He wouldn't have to deal with that guy anymore, at least.
It's pretty obvious who's thinking, still.
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I like that.
However, you haven't only gotten rid of the italics; you have also adjusted pronouns (I --> He) and tense (can --> could).
If the original is kept in tact word for word, I'd prefer either italics or "he thought", as otherwise the shift in pronoun/tense might disrupt the reading (or not depending on the text and reader).
