Replacements for "said" - Writers Forum

kagechaos · 09-14-2006, 12:32 PM

I don't know if a thread like this has already been posted, but I've been looking for words to replace "said" or "spoke" or "asked" and whatnot. Feel free to leave massive lists, I don't care. I just want more words. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks.

imrhati · 09-14-2006, 03:20 PM

said is most often the best choice. it is basically invisible, the reader rarely notices it. don't worry about usiung other things, if the situation calls for one you will have already thought of it.

Krim · 09-14-2006, 05:35 PM

Replace said?

List:

said
asked
whispered
yelled

jrudder · 09-14-2006, 07:58 PM

Replace said?

Said is a wonderful word because, as imrahti said, it's an invisible word. Readers skim over it, acknowledge it's there, and keep going. You can use it a million times in a story and it will never be out of place. If you try to replace "said" with words like "articulated" or "declared", people stop; the word is not nearly as common, so it causes them to stop and think for a split second, and that's a bad thing.

Don't be afraid of "said". "Said" is your friend.

mwd · 09-14-2006, 08:19 PM

Make sure you use 'ejaculated' as often as possible. It's the best dialogue tag. Much better than boring old 'said'.

But seriously, I'll second the people above me. Said is a good word. You don't want replacements for it. In fact you want to replace it as little as possible.

Krim · 09-14-2006, 09:24 PM

"Why, I say," Kyle exclaimed.
"Why you say?" ejaculated Ben.
"You see that light?" Kyle queried.
"In the distance?" was Ben's reply.
"Yes, with all the flashes," Kyle strutted.

FrankBlissett · 09-14-2006, 10:24 PM

The best replacement?

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Don't use a tag if possible. If there may be confusion as to who's speaking then use "said". If it's important to further refine the details of how they said it AND if you can't accomplish such through context (either dialog or prose), then use something else.

What I mean by context is something like:

The screech from the old die press was deafening and a loud, skull ratteling shimmy came and went in waves.

"Well, it works," Don said.

"I wouldn't have believed we'd get it working either."

"Okay - now what?"

Why would we need to refine that Don said his line loudly? Obviously it was said loudly. Okay - I'd be tempted to use "shouted", and it wouldn't be a bad choice. Still, it's not really needed.

On the second and third lines of text, assuming there's only two people present, you don't need any tags at all. Anyone reading it would know the speaker and would know the lines are spoken loudly.

-Frank

jrudder · 09-14-2006, 10:31 PM

On that note, though, don't take the not using tags too far. Every once in a while throw a tag in there to remind the reader who is speaking so they don't have to stop, go back, and check to make sure which one is which.

Spherical Time · 09-15-2006, 01:18 AM

murmured, mumbled, marveled, mused, mentioned, suggested, spoke, summoned, soothed, reasurred, reminded, responded, replied, recalled, verbalized, voiced, growled, groaned, announced, enumerated, answered, offered, ordered, cried, crowed . . . etc.

Those are all I can think of at the moment off the top of my head.

Rhea · 09-15-2006, 01:50 AM

I'd second what they say about not being afraid to use 'said', as it is the easiest to read. Sometimes a little more detail about how they're saying what they're saying is needed, though, which is where variation comes in.

Exclaimed, shouted, gleefully yelled, whispered, cursed, muttered, screamed, cried, growled, hissed, continued, interjected, argued, agreed, mumbled.

You could also add descripctive words to 'said', for example 'said Bill, deadpan.' 'he said excitedly' 'he said softly'

aspiring · 09-15-2006, 03:42 AM

I use the following along with a large dose of 'said':

answered
replied
yelled
shouted
screamed
whispered
mumbled
pointed out
muttered
agreed

I think that's pretty much it. I don't use anything fancier, but the above list I consider essential for occasional use. I write a lot of dialogue and I do like to break it up with the infrequent variation, otherwise I find that 'said' can be used about sixty times on one page and I DO start to notice it. However, I mostly try to do without it at all:
e.g.
Sarah jumped back. 'What was that?'
instead of:
'What was that?' asked Sarah.

Mike C · 09-15-2006, 03:53 AM

If you use anything other than 'said' (or nothing at all) you're falling short in your job as a writer because you're telling me in the tag what you should be showing me in the characters' interaction and dialogue.

"How much is that doggy in the window?"

"How much is that doggy in the window?" she asked.

In what way do we not understand in the first example that a question is being asked?

He leaned close, nuzzling her ear. "I love you."

"I love you" he whispered.

It's obvious in the first example he's not shouting, and his action foreshadows the dialogue.

aspiring · 09-15-2006, 11:28 AM

I disagree, Mike. I think there is a place for using another type of tag line. But then, that's a personal choice and is inherent in my style. And I do not think that that choice means that I am failing in my job as a writer. I do a huge amount of 'showing' but there are some occasions in which something other than 'said' can be appropriate.

Your two examples demonstrate what I am trying to say - in your first example, the difference with adding 'she asked' is not just to indicate that it is a question, but can be hugely helpful in showing the reader which character is speaking. Not always necessary, but sometimes it is. The second example is interesting, because the first version indicates that the person is speaking at normal level. The second makes it far more personal and indicates that other people should not hear it. Adding 'He leaned close, nuzzling her ear' does not mean that he will whisper 'I love you'.

I think it is purely a matter of individual style and although dialogue tags can be overused, I do believe there is a time and a place to use something other than 'said'. To indicate that anyone who does so is not doing a good job is simply short sighted.

valeca · 09-15-2006, 12:25 PM

Collectively, what we're saying is: use anything other than 'said' sparingly--meaning don't rely on dialogue tags to tell the reader what you're trying to convey; let the story/situation do that. As always, there are no absolutes.

For myself, reading words like 'yelled', 'shouted', 'whispered', 'agreed' is a redundancy.

dwellerofthedeep · 09-15-2006, 01:50 PM

Personally the only two of these I use at all are said (Quite commonly), and asked. I like asked for the sound of it compared to said in the same place. The point made about asked being a reduntancy is no different from the fact that if there are dialog tags said is not really necessary in most circumstances either.