My beginnings of a plot, need insight - Writers Forum

chaos · 08-03-2006, 02:14 PM

I just want to run this plot by some other people to see if it sounds interesting, or if anyone has some ideas to throw out to make it more interesting/plausible/whatever.

The story would be told in alternating first person chapters from the perspective of a 16 year old boy with a lot of behavioral problems (actually, 'psychopath' would be a better term) and with pedophilic tendencies. The other viewpoint character is a 16 year old girl with Down syndrome, who goes to the same school. Basically, the boy pretends to befriend the girl with Down syndrome in order to get at the girl's 4 year old sister. He ends up kidnapping the girl and keeping her for his amusement in an abandoned barn. Everyone blames the girl with Down syndrome, because she was jealous of her younger sister. There would be a lot of police interrogations of the Down syndrome girl, trying to get information out of her, even though she didn't do it.

I have no idea where the story is going after that, or how it gets resolved...these are really just the seeds of an idea and I'm curious to know if people think it's worth continuing. Thanks!

Dookie · 08-03-2006, 02:16 PM

I don't like it. It doesn't sound like it would be pleasing to read.

chaos · 08-03-2006, 02:41 PM

now that you mention it, it doesn't sound very pleasant, does it? Sounds kind of like a particularly dreary episode of law and order (of which I watch too much).

On to plan B (i.e. think of something else).

Fantasy of You · 08-03-2006, 02:44 PM

Sounds like you will struggled to get into the mind of a phsycopath and someone with downsyndrome.

Dawnstorm · 08-03-2006, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chaos

now that you mention it, it doesn't sound very pleasant, does it? Sounds kind of like a particularly dreary episode of law and order (of which I watch too much).

On to plan B (i.e. think of something else).

You give up way too soon.

chaos · 08-03-2006, 03:37 PM

well, it's not like I had a lot invested in the idea...it's just something I threw together this morning.

Mike C · 08-04-2006, 01:59 AM

The basic premise is whacked - you obviously know very little about downs syndrome.

Read 'About Brendan' by Phillip F O'Connor.

aspiring · 08-04-2006, 03:05 AM

Quote:

The basic premise is whacked - you obviously know very little about downs syndrome.

Just what I was going to say.

bob rulz · 08-04-2006, 03:13 AM

While I don't know anything about Down syndrome (so I can't comment on that part), I actually think it could be an okay, if a bit disturbing, plot. I tend to like twisted stories (I, too, have watched a bit too much Law & Order, especially Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, which is where the most twisted stories on TV come from...).

Mike C · 08-04-2006, 04:42 AM

Nothing wrong with twisted, disturbing plots, as long as there is a point and some accuracy.

Anarkos · 08-04-2006, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dookie

I don't like it. It doesn't sound like it would be pleasing to read.

So?

There's more to life and literature than a white picket fence.

I'm curious as to how it is obvious that this person knows nothing about Down's Syndrome.

chaos · 08-04-2006, 09:48 AM

People with Down syndrome aren't all little angels. They can be jealous and conniving too.

Dookie · 08-04-2006, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anarkos

So?

There's more to life and literature than a white picket fence.

Yeah I know but this suggested plot doesn't even have a moral. Most stories which tilt towards doom and gloom at least have a preferred reading which the readers take away with them. This didn't seem to have that.

thedarkboots · 08-04-2006, 07:21 PM

I thought it was a good idea as a seed that needs work on. I would have the male character keep his secret from the reader at first and foreshaddow his tendencies so as the story goes on, small things he says or gestures that hint at what he is really like. Let the reader be unsure if the downs syndrome character is really the culprit. I probably would not write it in first person either. Lots of research would be needed on psychopaths and with downsyndrome. I would also have another main character as the hero/heroine too. Maybe a parent of a police officer investigating the incident of the younger sister going missing.

Anarkos · 08-04-2006, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dookie

Yeah I know but this suggested plot doesn't even have a moral. Most stories which tilt towards doom and gloom at least have a preferred reading which the readers take away with them. This didn't seem to have that.

There's a difference between a theme and a moral, and themes - from what I can see - tend to develop out of a work-in-progress as it progresses. Several novels and novelists - for example, those by Irvine Welsh, Chris Clevenger and, indeed, a lot of Iain Banks' older stuff - write very, very dark stuff with very little overt moral.