Conveying emotion to the reader - Writers Forum

Raven13 · 07-17-2006, 04:03 PM

Occasionally, when my mind is wandering (usually when commuting to or from work), I’ll think of a situation that brings about a certain emotion – for example, the feeling of frustrated longing you get when you’re attracted to someone who you know you can never be with. And I’ll think to myself: “Yes! I want to write that; I want to put that feeling into words so that people reading it will feel that same thing.” So, I start thinking about how to do it, what exactly I would have the characters say and do to transmit that emotion into a reader’s mind. And then…nothing. I can never think of the words that my characters would say. Then, the part of me that likes to tell me that I’ll never be a good writer seizes the opportunity – A ‘real’ writer would know how to write that scene instinctively, right?

So, my question is this: given a set-piece situation, would most or all published, successful writers know instinctively how the scene generally should play out in order to get the emotional point across to the reader? Or does it simply take hard work and trial-and-error? And, what is your strategy when trying to convey an emotion? I suspect that my inability to think of relevant dialogue is simply because I haven’t yet understood who my characters are, even in my mind. What do you think? I sooo want to prove my inner critic wrong.

Thanks!

mammamaia · 07-17-2006, 06:50 PM

there are a lot of really awful writers with published books... and even many successful ones whose writing makes me [and established critics] cringe... so, i can't see your question getting a broad, across-the-board 'yes' answer...

do some?... sure... do some do it instinctively all the time?... i doubt it... i'd say some of the best do it a lot of the time... the rest of the best pull it off now and then... but basically, when it's done well, i think it's more likely to be the result of hard work, by the most talented and gifted with words...

can't tell you 'how'... instinct is instinct... it's not something you can learn... all i can tell you is that when you're 'in the zone' you know it, and the words just flow... and the effect is startling, even to you, when you read it back...

i don't have any 'strategy' and i don't think there's any strategic approach to it... but it is a matter of knowing your characters so well that you can bring them to life on the page and, if you have the gift for it, make what they feel be felt by the reader...

if you don't understand your characters you certainly won't be able to make them speak believably or convincingly... and, to some extent, yes, 'real' writers would be able to 'instinctively' write the scene... but... whether it works or not, will depend on the level of talent and skill each writer brings to the table...

don't know if that helps or not... my best advice is for you to keep reading the best writing by the best writers of all time, especially those who wrote/write the kind of stuff you want to write... and keep practicing...

and just go ahead and write down those scenes, to see how they come out [most 'real' writers keep a pen/pad handy at all times]... if they're terrible, you'll know you have to work harder on learning how to write well... and, if they're somehat ok, you'll know you're not as bad as you thought... whatever comes out, just keep on writing, till you get it right!

and if you want any help or an assessment of those bits, just drop me a line any time...

love and hugs, maia
maia3maia@hotmail.com

Straylight · 07-17-2006, 07:49 PM

Lots of good questions here -- could turn into a very informative thread.

To begin with, the best way to convey emotion is to make absolutely sure that you do not try to force an emotion on the reader. You do not want to tell them what to feel, or even trick them into feeling what you want to feel -- the former is flat and lifeless, the latter WILL be picked up as a trick and the reader will hate you for it and resist the scene just on principle.

The trick is to show it like it is. Put us there, show us the actions, and let the emotional subtext sing. Figure out what the symptoms of the emotion you want to convey are -- what someone in the grips of that emotion would DO, and have your characters do that. Use direct language -- try not to use word-selection to set your atmosphere when you want a strongly emotional scene... simpler is better. If you put your characters in an emotion-wrenching situation and have them act appropriately, without covering it up or prettying it up, the empathy-circuits of the reader will kick in.

A little anecdote... I wrote a story once about two brothers in an abusive household (some of you may have read it -- The Ghost. It was in the WW). It took a lot of care to avoid any overt, emotional prompting. I simply showed the brother coming home, knowing that his brother had been beaten, and I showed the relationship between them. Upon re-reading, I didn't think it would work. I thought it was too stripped-down, almost too much showing and not enough telling (which is the antithesis of what a writer should think, but I spent a long time in the tweaking). So I posted it here, and got a tremendous response stating that the emotional content was just right, that it pulled the heart strings because at no point was it not authentic. At no point did i try to go, "LOOK! See! How SAD!"

My editor said this: "This piece is good because you've used your emotions, and not let them use you."

As for the instinct vs. hard work thing... well, a lot of stuff that used to require hard work is instinct now -- tense (oh how I used to hate tense...), showing instead of telling, cadence of prose...

The thing is, the last 5% of the work takes 95% of the time. I can bang out a first draft that's very nearly excellent as-is. But in order to bring it to the next level requires endless amounts of revision. Like a sculpture, the rough-in work is quick and easy and gives the impression of the statue's form, but it's the fine, slaving detail work, the attention paid to each line and curve, that makes it what it will be.

But nothing in writing starts as instinct (I'm not sure how far along you are, so this advice may not apply, but take it as you will)... I don't think there's any such thing as a "natural writer", and you don't just immediately, instinctively know how to write a tight, elegant and emotional scene. You have to do it -- dozens of times -- again and again, agonizing over the rhythm of the prose and the choice of words and the pacing.

It's hard work, but it pays dividends in pure gold.

Best of luck,
~SL

suzakugaiden · 07-18-2006, 02:39 AM

"would most or all published, successful writers know instinctively how the scene generally should play out in order to get the emotional point across to the reader?"

Dude, stop comparing yourself to published writers. Grisham is published. Paolini is published. A lot of really sucky authors are published and even succesful. Pick higher standards, d00d.

Also, my personal strategy for conveying emotion involves screw-all to actual meaning.

mwd · 07-18-2006, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raven13

given a set-piece situation, would most or all published, successful writers know instinctively how the scene generally should play out in order to get the emotional point across to the reader? Or does it simply take hard work and trial-and-error?

I'm sure some could do it instinctively. There are plenty of people who have a particular talent at writing which manifested itself early in life, and they kept at it, and as a result they apply their technique instinctively, which looks to most people like they're just pulling it out of nowhere ... but they're not. They just climbed the learning curve more quickly than most, and at an earlier age.

But it's pointless thinking about those people or whether you are one. It's like looking in the mirror and saying "I wish I had bigger muscles" but then never going to the gym, heh. The only way you can improve is through practice, and then eventually you'll get better.

So I'm sure that there are some writers who can write publishable material on the first try, with just a few minor edits. I'm also sure there are many writers (probably a larger group than the first) who have to put more work into it. I'm also pretty sure that if the first group wrote their drafts a number of times instead of just once, they'd probably end up with higher quality stuff.

Quote:

And, what is your strategy when trying to convey an emotion? I suspect that my inability to think of relevant dialogue is simply because I haven’t yet understood who my characters are, even in my mind. What do you think?

I agree with maia and Straylight. If you don't know who your characters are, how can you expect your reader to know who they are? Your reader has to feel like they know them to care about what happens to them. Otherwise they're just words on a page.

The best way to convey emotion is not to. Let your characters do the conveying for you.

aspiring · 07-18-2006, 05:44 AM

I am lucky in that I tend to instinctively write these kinds of scenes. I have a lot more trouble with narrative description! But I find the key is honesty, as other people have said. The scene must be totally emotionally believable; your reader will know if the character says something that jars with their personality.

I don't know if it's any help, but I tend to imagine myself into the emotion - I pull faces and try to describe what happened to my facial muscles/shrug/sigh etc - and then try to work out how to write those expressions in words. I feel with my characters - if I'm writing an intensely sad scene I find myself getting upset too! That's how I know whether it works or not...! I wrote a nasty bullying scene in my novel a year ago and was so disgusted by the behaviour of my characters I had to have a large gin and tonic. The scene was good though

Mike C · 07-18-2006, 06:34 AM

A good example of 'write what you know'. You may not know how to fly to the moon, or strip an engine, or how to perform surgery, but you do know how to feel.

Put yourself in the character's place. Experience what they're experiencing, and write what you feel. Put yourself in the bad guy's place, feel what he feels.

Try this exercise. Think of a particularly emotionally painful or embarrassing episode from your past. Everyone's got one, whether it's a death, being bullied, broken relationship, whatever.

Write it. Don't try to make a story of it, just pour all those repressed feelings out onto paper, and be honest. Say all the stuff you'd die if anyone else read. Be brutal with yourself - nobody else need ever read it. But it'll help you next time you need to write an emotional scene in a story.

SilkFX · 07-18-2006, 10:02 AM

This is all great advice. I have nothing to add. In fact, I'm gaining a lot from this, seeing as emotion is something I've had a hard time conveying in my fiction lately.

(Word to the wise: If you absolutely must feed yourself through technical writing, don't allow it to overtake your ability to depict emotion on the page. Ask me how I know.

)

Dave King · 07-18-2006, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raven13

So, my question is this: given a set-piece situation, would most or all published, successful writers know instinctively how the scene generally should play out in order to get the emotional point across to the reader? Or does it simply take hard work and trial-and-error?

Sometimes it happens instinctively, but I think more often than not it's a matter of hard work. Not that you shoudl strain to convey the emotion, but you should be so experienced with a wide range of techniques that you have the right one at hand for the emotion you want to convey. The work comes in getting the experience with technique.

Quote:

And, what is your strategy when trying to convey an emotion? I suspect that my inability to think of relevant dialogue is simply because I haven’t yet understood who my characters are, even in my mind. What do you think? I sooo want to prove my inner critic wrong.

Thanks!

Or perhaps dialogue isn't the technique you want. You can also convey emotion simply by describing the setting in emotionally-laden language -- whether the rain is "pattering" or "drizzling" agains the window, for instance. The degree of detail you include can also convey emotion -- a preoccupied character is going to notice much less of his or her surroundings. In fact, these techniques are often best for conveying subtle emotions that your characters may not be consciously aware of.

Actually, I've written an article on this matter that you might find helpful -- "Decoding Narrative Distance." It's on my website, www.davekingedits.com, under "Writing Advice."

cabbageguy · 07-18-2006, 11:32 AM

Imagery and surroundings are useful to convey emotion. I know T. S. Eliot did it in his poetry - he let the environment convey an emotion. A sad character would see even a bright sunny day as something depressing - he would think of all the sunny days he spent when he could feel happy.

simon woodhouse · 07-18-2006, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raven13

for example, the feeling of frustrated longing you get when you’re attracted to someone who you know you can never be with.

To use your example as an…example, I'd create the situation and then show the character's reaction. If the emotion involved is something your reader is familiar with, they'll appreciate what you're trying to convey and feel the feeling. It's not so easy to try and evoke a feeling in someone who's never felt it themselves. Most people can relate to your example, so that one wouldn't be too difficult. If you had a serial killer who's getting a real kick out of mutilating his victim, and you want to try and instil his sense of euphoria/power in your readers, that might be a bit more difficult, as most of us would be revolted by what he was doing.

huni · 07-18-2006, 07:20 PM

What an interesting thread. I am rushing to work and can't read it all now but thanks for the question that generated it Raven. My quick thought it this - we can't convey emotion or feelings. They can't be handed around like a plate of cookies. What a writer can do, is elicit emotions. That is write in a way that connects to the reader and pulls out emotions that are already there. There are many writers who do this well and reading them is good learning. What is good strategy and helps this happen, is to write what is real and common to all people. Don't couch it in outdated or flowery wording that will take readers away from the immediate. Show the reader what is happening - don't tell them how to think.
huni.

Mike C · 07-19-2006, 08:16 AM

http://www.webster.edu/~schustjm/emotion.htm this is a script writing article but has some useful information

cacafire · 07-19-2006, 03:16 PM

All very excellent advice. I find I'm learning much from reading this.

Usually, I just write the scene and it comes out okay. Sometimes, not all the time, though. Right now, my writing is in a hole in the ground... But maybe this helps. ^.^

thanks for this question,
-Cacafire

cacafire · 07-19-2006, 03:16 PM

All very excellent advice. I find I'm learning much from reading this.

Usually, I just write the scene and it comes out okay. Sometimes, not all the time, though. Right now, my writing is in a hole in the ground... But maybe this helps. ^.^

thanks for this question,
-Cacafire