How Much Info is TOO Much Info? - Writers Forum

PennyandMe · 07-13-2006, 02:59 PM

I'm not sure how much information and detail to use in my story. For example, a critical scene involves the main character randomly meeting the man she admires. She needs to find a bathroom and wants to do so as quickly as possible - he basically is the only one willing to help her. But honestly, how much information do I give about the fact that she needs to pee badly? It's important to say that she 'thought she could wait' or was 'too embarrassed to say something' before...

The main point is that this character would not normally be willing to take the man's advice or confront him about something ,especially this. She is in such a desparate need to pee, though, that her entire attitude changes. She no longer cares, almost at all. But what is appopriate and what is not?

Straylight · 07-13-2006, 03:11 PM

Essentially, any time you are providing exposition (information) rather than action (not necessarily fisticuffs... anything actually happening) you need to be especially careful. Each piece of information has to be considered in the light of 'is this information necessary'. Every piece of exposition needs to serve a very clear and important purpose, or it's just empty words.

In your situation, however, it's more a matter of putting the information (how badly she has to pee) into immediate action. Dropping small sentence fragments about the ever growing pressure, the mounting pain, the muscle contractions, into the other happenings will make it feel like a mounting problem, a thing rising to climax.

Essentially, just use small prose-elements interspersed with your other actions to describe the mounting pee-problem. Make sure each one implies a worse condition than the last. You shouldn't need more the 3-5 of these prose elements (with perhaps a final sentence or two when the climax is reached) over the course of this scene.

~SL

Fantasy of You · 07-13-2006, 03:28 PM

How long is a piece of string?

It really does differ each time. Generally, info dumps are not appreciated. It is good to reveal infomation as the reader needs to know it, but without it jumping out of nowhere (I hope I'm making sense).

For your example, it depends on what you want the scene to be. If it is a comical moment, emphasise her need alot. Maybe he drinks some water, and the need floods her, and then he turns on a tap to wash his hands for some reason? Or, if you want, have her zone out of what he's saying with her desperation or something. I can't say because I don't know your character or anything lol..

Why don't you post it, and see if people can help?

Fantasy

Mike C · 07-13-2006, 04:41 PM

Write what seems right, then edit it down later.

Terri_Mo · 07-15-2006, 12:36 PM

I agree with Star, however I'd like to add, unless your character is a child or young teenager it doesn't show a realistic portrayal of the woman. You want to make sure your characters are three dimensional and their behavior is plausible. I really can't see a grown woman being afraid to ask for a bathroom.

Oh and Hi Mikey

imrhati · 07-15-2006, 01:44 PM

you can't? you must not know many woman. i can't count the women i know personally that would not want to ask that question to a man.

Terri_Mo · 07-15-2006, 01:50 PM

Well Doll, by women I mean females over the age of 25...and by that age, very few are scared to ask anyone for a bathroom if they really have to go...hell by then they aren't even embarrassed to buy tampons anymore.

imrhati · 07-15-2006, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imrhati

you can't? you must not know many woman. i can't count the women i know personally that would not want to ask that question to a man.

i still have the same opinion.

Fantasy of You · 07-15-2006, 02:20 PM

Lol. It is not a question of fear, but just being overly polite.

PennyandMe · 07-16-2006, 05:51 PM

Thank you so very much, Straylight and Fantasy of You. That was exactly what I was looking for. When I write it, does anyone think they could edit it or help change it if it doesn’t “flow” right?

This character is actually very young...a teenage high school student. I'm not entirely sure if she has "fear" or not. I'm thinking more that she just puts it in the back of her mind and tries to enjoy the time she's having with everyone. Then she suddenly realizes that she HAS to go now, painfully bad.

Under normal circumstances, yes - she would be somewhat afraid to ask to use the bathroom, especially to the teacher she has an infatuation with (not a romantic one, by the way). Let's put it this way: if she had the choice, she would much prefer to ask someone else OTHER than him. In a perfect world, she would prefer not to even have to ask. The whole scene deals with urgency, surrealism, randomness, and out-of-character spontaneous behavior on her part. The fact is that she needs to go pee and she has no idea where a bathroom would possibly be. She just hopes to find something somewhere, as quickly as possible, to the point that she no longer cares if she is confronted with this teacher. This is how they end up meeting in some random moment...

He is the only person/teacher/supervisor there who is willing to help her find a bathroom. Her family never would have treated the situation the same way. She is normally looked upon as a nuisance for having to ask. So it really is important for the characters’ first encounter. They walk around a brief time to find one and she simply tries to put the whole fact that he is there with her in the back of her mind. The main thing is that she would not allow herself to interact with him under normal circumstances, because of her character...she is shy, embarrassed, and feels strange at this point in her life. Most teenagers do . . . She is not being polite about any of it. In fact, her urgency might cause her to feel short and snappy with him, and she sort of ignores him the whole time because she doesn't want to "deal" with the current situation. She just wants it to be over with.

helene · 07-16-2006, 08:53 PM

You can probably mix dialogue, action, and thoughts to relay your message. Saying "She needed to go very badly" isn't as interesting as "As she smiled at Mr. Handsome, she hoped and prayed that her bladder wouldn't explode." Or something to that effect - it wasn't the best example. With the proper combo, you can produce a real, nice effect!

Good luck with this scene!

-Helene

Dave King · 07-17-2006, 03:45 PM

Hey, Carolyn,

I'd

Dave King · 07-17-2006, 03:45 PM

Hey, Carolyn,

I'd say

Dave King · 07-17-2006, 03:47 PM

Hey, Carolyn,

I'd say that the amount of information you include depends on your character's mood. After all, the information is information that is passing through her head, and how much you give shows how she feels at the time. If you include a lot of information about how much she wants to pee, you are going to create the impression that she's obsessed with it, which sounds like what you're looking for.