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| Tips & Advice Share your tips, tricks and advice. |
01-04-2006, 07:54 AM
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#1
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Malaysia
Gender: Female
Posts: 243
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How to describe doggy breath?
Help me with this one:
He was uncomfortably too aware of the dog's panting and hot, [blank] breath.
I can't very well use the word "doggy"...
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01-04-2006, 08:05 AM
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#2
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Best Seller
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: TN
Gender: Female
Posts: 597
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Pooch???
__________________
Dont measure the distance, but measure the love.
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01-04-2006, 08:08 AM
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#3
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Addict
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Southport
Gender: Male
Posts: 106
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How about Rancid? Or Putrid?
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01-04-2006, 08:15 AM
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#4
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Near wild heaven
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,141
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Woof Woof!
Bark Bark
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01-04-2006, 08:27 AM
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#5
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Glasgow, UK
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,120
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rhea
He was uncomfortably too aware of the dog's panting and hot, [blank] breath.
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I would scrap the line. If you were to use it - as it is - then you would be telling rather than showing. Let the character's actions show that he was uncomfortable; don't use uncomfortable.
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01-04-2006, 08:47 AM
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#6
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Nth Co Dublin, Ireland
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,315
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He was uncomfortably too aware of the dog's panting and hot, [blank] breath.
The stench of the dogs breath in such close proximity was foul ---- or your could make reference to how the smell was, ie what did they feed him etc.
Lorlie
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01-04-2006, 09:37 AM
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#7
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London, uk
Gender: Male
Posts: 444
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The dogs hot, fetid breath - an unpleasent mix of rotting meat and canine genitalia - was like a blast from a furnace as the animal panted exhaustedly.
You'll get as many different answers to this as there are members. Take your pick.
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01-05-2006, 01:30 AM
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#8
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back 'home' on Tinian!
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,445
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how 'bout:
kibble-scented
alpo-rank
etc.
__________________
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