oh... my god, help me... I am so friggin' stuck... - Writers Forum

Sketch · 12-29-2005, 11:21 PM

HELP ME I BEG OF YOU!!! I guess you could say I'm writing a story, it's more of a script, I suppose. It's for a manga that I'm doing,, but I am SO STUCK YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE!!okay, so the story starts out with this 17 year old named Aki, and right off the bat he's committing suicide, but when he jumps off a freakishly tall building, he ends up landing on a passer by named Yuki, also 17. Both are dead instantainiously. SO they find themselves in the lounge of purgatory where deathgod Rin greets them and goes through their files to make sure everything is in order. It turns out that they both died unscheduledly (I don't rightly know if that's even a word, but I don't give a darn!). So now, until the "higher ups" can figure out what the hell is going on, they have to live in purgatory, with eachother, in the same house, all to themselves. Yes, a house. I know, but I'm a weird kid. Anywho, Yuki pretty pissed at Aki for killing him, so he does stupid things to piss Aki off (ei - turning all his books spine in so he can't tell what's what). Aki has bruises on his body because he was abused by his mom, (that's why he killed himself), and Rin thinks Yuki is the cause of the bruising, so she yells at Yuki and takes off to finish her job for the day. Yuki is still spiteful and tells Aki "you disgust me" as they pass by eachother in the hall. Aki kinda breaks down because this is all exactly how it started with his mother, (she was kinda mentally unstable). Yuki sneaks a peek at Aki crying in his room, spouting things like "I don't want to go through this again, mother." and "I died to run away from these things, not to be enveloped in them for eternity." Needless to say, Yuki now feels bad, and the last thing I have here is him thinking to himself 'I guess I did go too far...' in the hallways....THAT'S ALL I HAVE SO FARI have what comes next like, way later and such and so forth,, but I have virtually nothing for the next few scenes.Any ideas anybody?

TimK · 12-30-2005, 01:19 AM

Hi, Sketch. One thing you could do is to ask where you want to get to. You're obviously building a conflict between and within these two characters. You want to thicken that conflict, then finally resolve it. Think of what would make everything better, what would make you feel good about the characters, then have them do the opposite. So Yuki feels bad, and as a result he acts out, rationalizes his behavior, blames Aki for getting him bawled out by Rin, and generally goes even further over the top. Aki is wrestling with his own demons, and they further torment him.

At some point, introduce dramatic events that cause the characters to change inside, finally resolving each conflict. Maybe Aki decides to stand up to Yuki. Or Yuki breaks down and shows Aki how vulnerable he feels.

-TimK

Sketch · 12-30-2005, 09:43 PM

so all that's left now is how to deepen the conflict between Yuki and Aki... hmmm..... it's got to be something more than simply words... Yuki is the kinda guy that wouldn't pick at a wound like that, but he would be the kind to not quite know what to do in this kind of situation... soooo... what if I had Aki trying to ignore Yuki so that he can run away from his problems again, and Yuki gets nervous around him because he's unsure about Aki's mental condition and afraid he might do something, well, bad. (Just because your dead doesn't mean you can't feel pain... at least in this sense). Then something could happen to trigger something in Yuki that makes him want to help, so he grabs Aki's arm and tries to talk to him,, but the words don't come out or, once again, he's afraid again. It's a big situation that's hard for a stranger/housemate to discuss, especially when you're a teenager. (ps- I mentioned to my mom about the "take whatever would make the characters feel good, whatever would make the situation better, and do the complete opposite" thing and she said it was a really good idea,, so kudos to you ^^)

Talia_Brie · 01-02-2006, 07:59 PM

For me it looks like this is lacking any real direction. Do you have any idea how this is going to end? Where it's going?

As advice to avoid these kind of blocks I generally tell people to try to put together an outline. That's what you need as well.

Sit down and write out the events that you see occuring between the beginning and the end. That gives you some direction, a place to get to in the end. You may not stick with it all the way, but at least it's a good start.

The reason you're stuck is because even you don't know what happens next, or after that, so the story seems to be sort of bumping around not going anywhere.

LouDog11 · 01-02-2006, 10:02 PM

My advice would be if you have the gist of events in the beginning, which you outlined above and idea for how it should end, don't just make up scenes to fill in the space between.

I think you'll find that those scenes will never fit in or flow correctly. Let it flow logically from your brain. You did a good job already developing the beginning of the story, so in your opinion where could it go next? Don't think that it has to go to your planned out ending, because then you will steer it there against its will and flow. Let it come naturally to the characters you created and the setting you put them in.

Sketch · 01-03-2006, 04:46 PM

Well, okay,, I have all the beginning going on and everything,, and I DO have what comes after the giant blank in my mind. Somehow, I have to have something happen that makes Yuki realize that purgatory isn't the worst place in the world. He was the heir to a big company so he was always made to do things he never wanted to do and go to private schools, learn skills he had absolutely no interest in. Compared to that, living in a state of undead or something isn't all that bad. *step of maturity* *ta-da* blah blah blah. He ends up wanting to help Aki with his demons. Yuki is just plain emotionally stronger than Aki, for some obvious reasons,, so my main plight here is what the hell can happen to Yuki to give him a revelation about his "life"...? The first big step in this story is to overcome and accept one another, then I can get on with the rest of the story.

Sketch · 01-04-2006, 07:55 PM

Do you think I could have some sort of spiritual thing?? Like [I'm just throwing this out there since it's purgatory and all,, aka- no real bodies, kinda like fake bodies] Aki goes into a spiritual cardiac arrest or something,, and Yuki has to go get him? That could lead to the understanding and the non hating and the niceness and stuff. Am I crazy or would that work?