I'm not seeking any ordinary advice... - Writers Forum

krazyklassykat · 12-05-2005, 05:14 PM

For this, I'll need the help of writers who value not just writing itself, but the ideas, the inspiration, the passion, and the care that is needed to be a writer, or an artist of any kind. See, my problem is not just a writer's block, or a research problem, or anything to do with grammar. You could call it a severe loss of inspiration. But, I don't wish to pour my heart before knowing if anyone is reading...if you don't mind. So, if you wish to know my problem, and maybe try to help me out, please reply.

Crazy_dude6662 · 12-05-2005, 05:16 PM

i would like to try and help!

krazyklassykat · 12-05-2005, 05:20 PM

Okay... well, ...this is a bit difficult. The whole reason I'm into the arts at all is because of my dad. He was my inspiration, my devil's advocate, my publisher, my reader, and my father all at once. But this May... he was in a fatal hiking accident... Ever since, I just haven't been able to write or draw as much, and with as much enthusiasm...

Crazy_dude6662 · 12-05-2005, 05:23 PM

well think, ate you writing for you or for him.

is he still alive, maybe spend some time with him, doing creative things like painting together or brainstorming together or even talk.

if he died i am so sorry for your loss.

you could listen to music, do somthing good that wiill remind you of good times with your dad.

even doodling can get the creative juices going and when they start flowing just get on and enjoy the ride.

i hope helped, if i didnt say so and i will try again!

krazyklassykat · 12-05-2005, 05:25 PM

Yes, he did die... kinda the meaning of "fatal".. lol that's okay though. See, I guess my main problem is follow-through. I'll start writing or drawing something, but I just don't feel it anymore. I rarely finish.

Crazy_dude6662 · 12-05-2005, 05:31 PM

well answer the question, did you write for him or you (people can have fatal accidents and pull through. i know a few)
learn to dance, its creative!

plant some trees.

sit and breath, seven counts in, hold for seven, then breath out for seven. try this for a few minuets and see how you feel.

like i said doodleing.
(if you have kids) spend more time with your kids, play games with them, creative games like who can draw a picture with the most colour.

rent some movies, have a relaxing night, make a nice cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate whatever you like and go and try to write somthing (if it dosnt come dont force it to, look up art on the web. or read other peoples stories.

listen to music that reminds you of your father (or not, just music you like) that will get you motivated. i dont know what else.
thsoe kinda things you know.

i hope i helped!

krazyklassykat · 12-05-2005, 05:33 PM

I write for me, I think... I don't know. It just came so easy. If I didn't have anything to do, I'd write. If I didn't feel like listening in class, I'd write. Or doodle. But I just hardly even feel like it anymore... I don't know... maybe I was wrong to think there was any way to really fix it..

SeattleGhostWriter · 12-05-2005, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krazyklassykat

Okay... well, ...this is a bit difficult. The whole reason I'm into the arts at all is because of my dad. He was my inspiration, my devil's advocate, my publisher, my reader, and my father all at once. But this May... he was in a fatal hiking accident... Ever since, I just haven't been able to write or draw as much, and with as much enthusiasm...

Hey there, I am hoping this advice and experience will provide some helpful inspiration, and is what you are looking for.

I had always known I wanted to write. Most people scoffed at me (even family and those whom I called friends). Over the years, I written some things off and on. Collecting what I had written on the computer and in notebooks. It wasn't until about 2002 that I sat down and written out a full length manuscript within twenty days. After I spent several sleepless nights of just letting words, phrases, sentences, images to come out, I carried what I wrote to work. I slept, I ate, I breathed writing. I finally found that passion, that well. In so doing, I ended up coming across a lady at work. I shared with her what I was writing. She told me her father was published. She wanted to see what I was writing. We dialouged at work, over at my apartment, and online. We ended up drawing close together.

But, six months later - my heart was broken. I couldn't sleep for days. I couldn't eat. I didn't want to go to work. I couldn't lift a pen. The dam was in place and inspiration had vanished. I was exiled to my own self pity of woes and pain. I tore up copies of my manuscript. I was angry, frustrated. Every time I tried to write, I was constantly thinking about her. Character creation took on her personification. Events with plots that I would create in my mind took on her and I. The What if game kept coming back - What If I would cross paths with her again. What if she left her current relationship that she went back to and we picked up...what if, what if, what if?

I was drained physically, emotionally. I couldn't write. Every time I did - it was about her.

What did I end up doing? I closed my eyes. I pictured her. Pictured how I remembered her. Picked up my manuscript, and began tweaking it. She started becoming the creation for my one female character. She became the love of my M.C. His pain was my pain. In the story I had labored over became more of a story about me and her. It became my release of finally letting go. Finally letting the what if to fully become realized. Whether it would happen in reality, I didn't care. I had to get the thoughts out, had to get the pain out. I had to face the reality that I had to write. And I wrote. I wrote about her in many different story lines. I wrote about the pain and death of a precious relationship.

It is now almost 2006. I haven't spoken to her, I haven't seen her since 2003. That was over 3 years almost. Do I still think about her? some days, but it is only in passing thoughts. Do I write about her? No, I do not write about her much anymore.

So, what helped me get back to the inspiration to write something, to keep on plugging through? It was to write about the pain, the love, the hurt, the abandonment and rejection I felt those few years ago. Am I a better person? Yes, and I now have someone I am drawing close to and love. She is becoming my inspiration to keep on writing. Challenging me, encouraging me.

So what does this mean? Write even till it hurts to write and you cant see straight through tear soaked eyes. When you are finished, close the manuscript and set it aside and keep writing.

That was what I did.

krazyklassykat · 12-05-2005, 05:42 PM

Wow... seattleghostwriter, thank you. That helps a lot. I have tried that, but then halfway through I start worrying about how it would look to other people, even if I don't intend on letting anyone read it. But thank you... I've been looking for something like this on writingforums; most threads I join are about technical things, I haven't seen much passion like this.

SeattleGhostWriter · 12-05-2005, 05:52 PM

Added advice - don't worry because this is about you and you alone. It is up to you whether you want to lock away this piece of writing(s) or share them. But every once in a while, it is there for you to draw upon for future writings.

You'd be amazed.

krazyklassykat · 12-05-2005, 05:53 PM

Yeah... I guess I should try. Thanks a lot.

Sand · 12-05-2005, 09:38 PM

Hi Klassy,

Seatle is absolutely right. I've never had to face the loss of a loved one and tears come to my eyes just thinking about it, but I know that writing about it is the only way I'd be able to make it to the other side whole.

While you write some things for the entertainment of others, some things you have to write just for yourself - this is one of them. Maybe you'll never read those words again, but you work through the thoughts and feels by writing them out; that way you pass the burden on to the page and eventually you can let it go. Grieving is a natural and necessary process; allow yourself to grieve, and use the talent your father recognized in you to help you through it. Your Dad will always be with you, reading your words through your eyes.

Everyone here writes because of what's in their hearts; some of us write what's in our hearts.

Cady · 12-05-2005, 09:52 PM

Oh Klassy I understand! My dad died when I was 14 my step-mother murdere him and he was my everything, best friend, reader, editor, strength, he pushed me and pushed and pushed. After he died I didnt write for over four years! I gave it up. Without a reader or someone to push me I fell apart. What really helped me was realizing that I had lost two very important things because of one selfish act. Now I write as often as I can because it makes me feel good, its therapy and I know my dad would be proud. What do you think your dad would say? I know mine would say ho wmuch have you written today? Lets see it. I know its hard but dont let your dad or yourelf down. Show him that you are a strong person and that all his help and knowledge was preperation to this moment. Remember his words of wisdom. It always helps me to think of dedicating my first book to my dad. I dont know if this helps but my dad was my driving force in life and now in death, I just hope you realize what I did before four years pass! Please if you need any help with anything I am more than happy to talk to you via IM or in this thread. I am going through a tough time right now also because my dad died around this time of the year. I know how hard this can be and I am truly sorry for your loss.

CZ · 12-06-2005, 01:44 AM

Klassy,

I did not write seriously for about a year after my mom died. To be brief- she died in a traumatic way when I was present, which pretty much shattered my emotions for a long time.

I don't agree with always putting writing first and maybe I'll draw some guffaws for that but when she passed away I had just turned 21 and was going to college fulltime and working. Between that and the grief I knew I would literally break down if I tried to write seriously.

After the first few months I was able to write a page or two on my memories of her, but it was difficult because it was so painful. Writing things other than nonfiction school papers was impossible because I would bog down almost immediately. After about a year I was able to get back into the flow because thinking about the grief was a little bit easier.

I guess what I'm saying in a roundabout way is that grief is a wholly personal thing. I am of the opinion that its perfectly fine to give yourself a break if needed. On the other hand, if writing helps you, you shouldn't feel as if you should hold yourself back. It's basically just a matter of finding what you want to write and what you can stick with. Another thing you might want to consider if this is an incident that's really bothering you is to talk to a grief counselor. I never talked to one and I would have terrible nightmares of the scene of her death again and even today, nearly 4 years after the fact, I sometimes wish I would have gone. So it comes back down to what you feel you can handle and what you can balance.

Sorry for the long post, heh.