Kane

lol, between "the teenager said with a sneer," and "a vile mix of halitosis and cheap alcohol," I couldn't stay focused on the rest of what you wrote.

There are a number of ways you can do the rape, and still make it effective. I think it has more to do with your strengths as a writer than what you think the reader wants to see. The way you write the scene will be evident to the reader, whether it be vilely done, sympathetic, cold, whatever. You could even build up to it, ending with, "And while she watched the clouds, wondering what it must be like to fly, he raped her." Even, "And then he raped her." Or you could write about it after the fact, focus on her pain, guilt, shame, instead of the rape itself.

Don't pull any punches. Write the story as it needs to be told, or it will be dishonest. If you have to cut it out later because a publisher asks you to, well, that's just something you'll have to decide when you get there. But if you can't write truthfully, why write?

Tunkpirate

My question is this, you mentioned that you are writing the story as the chapters come to you, and you will be "coming back" to this chapter. My concern is that if you wrote additional material before you constructed the sexual assault idea, could your character not reflect the event. i.e. someone who is raped, assaulted, whatever the case may be, would be changed by the occurrence, thus would act differently throughout the rest of the novel. If the event does not substantially change the character, my vote would have to be to skip it. Something that gritty inserted without a specific cause could end up feeling out of place. No matter how well written the scene is, if the reader does not see it as having a purpose, they may feel turned off by the whole thing. Think of seeing a movie that has an out of place sex scene, it feels unnecessary and sometimes just raunchy. That being said, I have no problem with dark material (although being an 18 year old male this is not surprising) but just so long as its not dark for the sake of darkness.

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"Any road followed precisely to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little bit to test that it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain."

Schumi

I see your point of view. However, of the material I have written so far, she has only appeared one more time. Granted, I have only written an aditional two chapters to the one I planned to come back to. I want to convey the story of her being assaulted, but refusing to let it dominate her. I want her to try and continue as normal, but obviously at some point, something will happen that will relive the horror of the event. I don't want it to immediately change her, at least not from the outside. On the inside, it will always be there, but not for others to see.

I'll have a go at writing something, and see where it leads.

damien_frosst

Well, you could simply leave it as a flashback, or something else. Then it wouldn't need to be up front as part of the main story.

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Damien

In my world, there are no heroes, only really polite villians.

Aimless

[ot:cc2c1cc9c8]That's because it was primarily a robbery. Schumi stated that he was after something 'extra', so I was putting forward one idea of what that could be. That and the fact it was fast approaching 4AM.

I realised that at the time, but realistically a teenager would probably be nervous and full of trepidation, hardly the most menacing of characters. Although apparently neither was my crap-spouting pervert, so... damn.

Okay, you got me. As I am reminded every day, I'm not a good writer.[/ot:cc2c1cc9c8]

Anyway, now that I've made my various inane excuses, I better make something more constructive of this post.

Schumi, what sort of medical background does Samantha have? I'm not asking for grades or anything, I was just thinking that she would probably have received some type of self defence training via the hospital. I'm not sure if this is restricted to those who work in certain troublesome areas (psych wards and the like) but I know that my dad was trained in how to deal with violent patients and how to disarm them of weapons such as knives. This might be something to consider with your character, having her either try to defend herself and fail or be too afraid to try, etcetera — it depends on her character, really.

suzakugaiden

"but just so long as its not dark for the sake of darkness."

Needless tragedy, eh? Yeah, it's sort of lame when something is there just to be gritty and sad for the sake of being, like, "Hey, happiness just ain't COOL no more." Although, I once had an interesting though, about a story consisting almost entirely of needless tragedy, and then having the main realize this and discover that reality wasn't working properly for some reason.

Schumi

As a flashback, do you mean the assault could have happened several months ago before, or do you mean she could have flashbacks of the assault that happened in the novel in a later chapter?

Apologies if that sounded confusing.

Schumi

She is a GP at the local hospital. Basically, I have another main character in the novel called Michael. He visits the hospital at the start of the novel, to be told he has incurable cancer. Now, I have wrote it with Michael saying he was expecting his usual GP to be seeing him. But he was called away urgently, and Samantha is filling in for him. I have a feeling this is not realistic to how hospitals work. I'd hope it would be something similar.

Anyway, she tells him, and like I have said before, she goes off on her lunch break soon after and that's when the robbery and assault take place. I want Samantha to come across as a strong woman, and not someone who will simply let others abuse her. So yes, she would put up a fight.

lisajane

In the way of appointments and etc, does Samantha tell Michael he has incurable cancer or does his usual GP tell him? If it's Samantha, that doesn't quite ring true... I'd say the usual GP would.

Also, Samantha probably wouldn't fill in for the usual GP, they would've just given Michael an appointment to see Samantha instead, I'd say.

__________________
'Beauty stands and waits with gravity to start her death-defying leap. And he, a little charleychaplin man, who may or may not catch her fair eternal form spreadeagled in the empty air of existence.' - Laurence Felinghetti, 'The Acrobat'

Schumi

It is Samantha who tells him he has incurable cancer. Mind you, I don't suppose it has to be her, but I wanted it to be as it wouldn't be the only time that Michael and Samantha saw each other. They will meet again. That's what I have planned anyway.

Actually, you make an excellent point. I could just have Samantha as his usual GP. It would save a lot of confusion. Would that be the best way in your opinion?

Schumi

My apologies, I think I misunderstood what you said. Did you mean that the hospital would let Michael know that his usual GP wouldn't be available, and as a result tell him that he would be seeing her instead?

cindyfreire

First off, I am curious as to why you would want to write a book out of order? I have written a book (one of nine), and I found that developing, not only the world, but their culture, and specifically, the characters, was critical before I started actually writing the book. By the time I did start, I knew where every character was going, as well as where the story would go, having no need to add scenes just for the sake of adding scenes.

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Now, back to my advice. Granted I am not an expert, but I understand flow and fluidity. Always be true to your characters and your vision. Does this assault have any bearing on your story? Will the book be of lesser quality if the assault does not take place? If you must add it because it adds to the book, then by all means, write it, in the way that will have the most impact.

___

Here's an idea you might consider:

Having the assailant be a man, not a teenager. Most people don't take them seriously enough for this scene to have the proper impact. Most people would probably try to run from a teenager, despite the knife. While a man holds more weight and intimidation, due in part to his age and expected life experiences.

Try this and see if it works for you:

During the assault, describe, in cold, detached, technical detail, what exactly is happening, showing no emotion or reaction (i.e. His hand slid across her breast, squeezing, twisting. His tongue went here. His hand went there... - obviously not in these words. It is just an example). Then, later in the book, have Samantha relive the attack from her point of view. Show how she was feeling at the time. How did she see the man? How did it feel for her to go through this? Show her thoughts or let the reader hear the conversation where she relives it, and in this scene, you actually add the emotion and terror and humiliation, or whatever you want her to feel. This will give more weight and impact and relevance to the assault. Then what you might find is that the assault was critical to the book, which would be lessened if the assault was ommitted.

Whatever you decide, make every scene count in one way or another. In writing my book, nothing was arbitrary. Arbitrary is another word for forgettable. Good luck!

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Fantasy

Schumi

Thanks for your post. I like your idea, as I am finding the dialogue parts in my novel easier than writing description. Having Samantha express her thoughts about the assault in some sort of conversation is something I'd like to do. The thing is, I'm not clear at this stage who she would be talking or opening up to. Maybe it could be Michael, although I doubt it. I would think it would be some sort of care line telephone call, of which she could get information about at the hospital. That might be an idea worth exploring.

I don’t feel I would be writing the assault scene for the sake of it i.e. it’s not an idea I thought of solely on the basis of something happening to Samantha in the novel. I knew from the beginning when writing her character portfolio that she was going to be a very important character. I have one of her traits as being a person who can be to trust worthy for her own good. So, I was thinking her attacker could follow her from the hospital and eventually attract her attention by faking an injury of some sort. She would tend to him (going back to the trust worthy element of her character), and that’s when he would begin the assault by asking her for all her money etc.

Any more thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

cindyfreire

I don't know who Michael is, but the reader will be more drawn in if Samanthat opens up to a stranger--an impartial person who willnot look at her the way someone she knows would (that look might make her uncomfortable and less willing to open up to someone she knows). That's if you wanted to do this in conversation. She could be stuck somewhere (again, it should have to do with the overall storyline), with a stranger and with a distant voice and a blank stare in her eyes at the beginning of her opening up, she begins to recount what happened to her as she felt it and remembers it. It will have more impact this way. And then, after she has spoken a few lines, have her eyes water and her voice rise in anger as she finishes telling her story. This shows that it really had an affect on her mentally and emotionally. You always want to put your reader in the shoes of the character you are writing about. Make them feel what she felt, what she thought and what she recalls, in order to make the reader feel what it means to go through something like that. You always want your reader to walk away from your book thinking about it--seeing things differently.

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Another approach is to have her tossing and turning in sleep as bits and pieces of how she truly remembers the assault, come to her in dreams. It could be something that she repressed somewhat and her dreams are her mind's way of telling her that the assault is something she needs to deal with, instead of setting it aside like it meant nothing. This would carry her trauma further, as well as the readers sympathy for her. In conversation, she will have to get over it too quickly or she becomes a dragging character.

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Fantasy

lisajane

No. I'll use an example:

I ring my usual GP, needing to make an appointment. My usual GP happens to be booked out completely at that time of when I want the appointment, so they ask me if I'd like to see another one that's free then.

__________________
'Beauty stands and waits with gravity to start her death-defying leap. And he, a little charleychaplin man, who may or may not catch her fair eternal form spreadeagled in the empty air of existence.' - Laurence Felinghetti, 'The Acrobat'