Crucial Foreign Dialogue - Writers Forum

Drzava · 08-01-2005, 07:32 PM

I've posted some stuff before about a novel, I think I finally have it refined enough in my head to begin writing. I had some characters up there but they were just sitting around, two I thought up yesterday have been kicking my ass to write their story.

I want a large portion of the dialogue to be between a brother and sister in their language. There are several problems though:

the reader needs to understand it. This is easy enough, I can just write it in English after establishing they never use English amongst each other. However, at the end I want to close it with just a word or two that leaves the reader wondering...but if I do it in English they will understand it. Can I switch between substituting English for a foreign language and then use the foreign language?

And, as far as the language there is an even bigger problem. For effect I want it to be Bats, but there are no speakers of it even in America. Resources online are even less, so it is impossible to find any phrases in it. However, I can find Ingush resources, I don't know if this would be acceptable though, it feels kind of like saying something is spoken in Spanish and then write it in French.

I don't know...thoughts?

Philo · 08-01-2005, 08:05 PM

I'm, trying to think of when I've read a story that did something like this. All I can come up with is to put the foreign language in italics and take opportunities to point out that other non-speakers don't understand etc... Actually writing it in a foreign language may mean having to translate all of it. Maybe you could write the greetings, goodbyes, etc... in the other language, followed by the translation in italics and then transition to just the italicized text.

I don't know what Bats is, so I looked it up and at least two sources said it only exists as a spoken language. If thats the case, what do you do?

Let me know what you decide. You've got me curious. -Philo

Drzava · 08-01-2005, 08:19 PM

Well that's a big problem too. I have my plot outline thought out if anyone wants to hear it, but as far as the language, I thought of italics but didn't know if that had ever been used, or if it would get annoying after a while to always read in italics.

Philo · 08-01-2005, 09:00 PM

I guess it depends on how much italics there would be. If its half of the dialog in the book then I think you need another device and just writing it in english is going to be the way to go and the language is going to have to be eluded to.

Drzava · 08-01-2005, 09:20 PM

That's what I'm thinking is the most logical choice. But would it be okay to, in the end, switch to just a word that is not English or the alluded to language, but one that takes its place.

Ilan Bouchard · 08-01-2005, 09:40 PM

When I talk with family, I switch between French and English all the time. If you're asking if it would be out of place, then no.
(You're name is foreign, and I'm pretty sure I read a post of yours in Russian, so perhaps you know what I'm talking about. If I'm wrong: apologies.)

If you're asking if it would be awkward and confusing, then perhaps. I would strew some other Bats phrases throughout their conversation, but make it obvious in those instances what the word means/implies.
For example:

Bill: You're crazy! You're talking like a madeupword!
Susan: Fuck you, anotherexampleword!

People would see they speak to each other in a bit of a mix (Banglish?

), but would more or less what they're saying until you want to throw off the reader.

Ilan Bouchard · 08-01-2005, 09:42 PM

And when are we going to see some of your work Drzava? I don't think you've ever posted a single story, chapter, or poem.

Drzava · 08-01-2005, 10:34 PM

I'm going to make a website devoted to the book, if you want I can start posting extracts. I should think it'll take me a couple weeks of writing and endless years of rewriting...

suzakugaiden · 08-01-2005, 10:38 PM

I need to learn Russian :| I mean I can read Cyrillic already, so why shouldn't I learn to speak Russian?

Drzava · 08-01-2005, 10:42 PM

You don't have to learn Russian, Ukranian, Serbian and even Khalka are all valid alternatives!

Kikster · 08-02-2005, 11:09 AM

I think Ilan is right. when I'm talking with my family we keep switching from english to italian, so it's perfect normal to have your carachters do that in the novel.
that way you don't have to go crazy researching bats...
plus, when you speak english and throw some foreign word in here and there people tend to understand what it means from the context in which it is used. my boyfriend doesn't speak any italian, but when I use italian words when speaking to my parents he almost always understands what we are talking about.

Xion Night · 08-02-2005, 05:05 PM

What about footnotes? In Richard Adams' Watership Down, (One of my favourite {sp?} books.) there were words that were unknown to the reader, but due to the tasty use of footnotes, I remember almost every foreign word and its meaning. I also agree in that you should take every chance to notice the lack of comprehension of a bystander:

-----------------------
"We're going to have to Am'daai1." Jonathan spoke to Nancy in their language while the tall guard stood by with a baffled expression.
"Oerer2?" Nancy surpressed the panic in her voice.
"Yes, we're left with no other choice."
The two siblings turned to face the tall guard once more.
"Alright," Jonathan said in perfect English. "We accept your challenge."
The guard turned to his colleague, who bore an equally curious expression.

________________
Footnote:
1. Tag Team
2. Here/Now/Presently.
-----------------------

Excuse the foolishness of the words; I quickly threw this together and it's probably not the best example, but it's how I'd go about doing something like that.

...