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| Tips & Advice Share your tips, tricks and advice. |
07-29-2005, 03:19 PM
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#1
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: At my computer, isn't it obvious??
Gender: Male
Posts: 906
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Hooking the Reader
I just finished writing the first part of an eight part story, and am having trouble hooking the reader. The story is about a boy in an orphanage who is planning a kind of revolution. He is at the bottom of the "foodchain" and wants to rise to the top. The format that I'm writing this in is like this:
Chapter one
<journal entry from main character>
<Body of story in 3rd peron>
chapter two
<journal entry from main character>
<Body of story in 3rd peron>
etc
etc
I am having trouble getting the reader hooked on my story quickly enough that they will stick with it. Since the action doesn't really start for a few pages, I'm finding it quite difficult. If anyone has any tips at all on hooking the reader, I would appreciate it greatly if you posted them. Thank you! 
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"Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell." -- William Strunk Jr.
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07-29-2005, 07:35 PM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 230
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I would focus on a lot of "emotional" action... especially in the journal. I believe you can hook a reader without throwing in a lot of action from the get go. sometimes a carachter's intelligent musings are far more interesting than plain action...
besides that, who told you that the story as it is is not hooking up the reader? did you have someone read it or is it just a feeling you have?
__________________
I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn’t last long. (Shelly Winters)
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07-29-2005, 08:10 PM
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#3
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: At my computer, isn't it obvious??
Gender: Male
Posts: 906
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just a feeling, cuz when i read it to myself, it doesnt hook me. and thank you for the advice ill try both and see which i like better.
__________________
"Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell." -- William Strunk Jr.
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07-30-2005, 07:54 AM
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#4
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back 'home' on Tinian!
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,445
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can't really tell, without seeing the opening itself, graff...
why don't you post the first page and then we can give you advice based on knowledge, rather than just guessing and tossing out generalities or our personal preferences...
hugs, maia
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07-30-2005, 08:13 AM
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#5
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,549
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I agree with maia. I know when I write something & read it over, I often feel disappointed. Now I put it up onsite to see if it really sucks or if it's just a lack of mystery because I know where it's going.
and you're going to have to get some objective crits or you'll never feel you've got it right. A fresh set of eyes can pick up instantly something you're glossing over.
__________________
*He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
*Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
*Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it - Moses Hadas
*He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know - Abraham Lincoln
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07-30-2005, 11:55 AM
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#6
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: At my computer, isn't it obvious??
Gender: Male
Posts: 906
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I just posted the first part of the story in the short story forum.
__________________
"Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell." -- William Strunk Jr.
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