A guide to expressions and body language - Writers Forum

Lord Raiden · 07-01-2005, 11:20 PM

Hi all. Finding that the more complex my charecters get, the harder it is for me to properly describe their expressions, emotions, and body language that they're expressing at any given time. So, I'm curious if there's a list or a site out there with a complete or mostly complete list of words and discriptions for various expressions, emotions, and body language that would help me better express how each charecter is feeling or what expressions they're giving off in a given situation.

journyman161 · 07-01-2005, 11:40 PM

You may be putting too much info into your descriptions of the characters speech & actions.

Generally, when people read about characters, the descriptive words disappear. they get read & used as info but are not consciously seen.
eg: 'he said' has to be repeated ad nauseum before anyone but the author (& maybe editor) registers it as annoying.

Also, you don't have to describe every nuance of expression; your readers live a life & have their own words/concepts of what expressions indicate. try to cut the descriptions down to a minimum & use the actions or behaviours to show your readers what tensions are there. They'll then put their own 'expressions' on the faces of your characters.

Lord Raiden · 07-02-2005, 01:28 PM

Well, I'm not doing it on every piece of dialogue. I'm a little more choice than that. But during some of the more emotionally charged parts of the dialogue I'd like to use some more descriptive wording to relay the charecters emotions than what I've been doing up to this point. I really feel that I'm not doing enough to visualize the charecter in words that the reader can use to see these. Especially four of the minor charecters in the book. They're a little on the course side emotionally and take more of a grumpy or harsher stance when speaking or interacting with others.

Dan101 · 07-02-2005, 01:39 PM

Try starting off the piece of dialogue, then pausing the speech in the center to describe a movement or somthing in your character, then finishing the dialogue off. Lemme give an example:

"Don't you ever come near my daughter again," the man pointed his finger angrilly at Steve, "or I will personally whoop yo' behind."

Somthing like that. Does that help any?

Lord Raiden · 07-02-2005, 05:42 PM

Well, some of what I'm after is things like this:

"You really want me to use that?" said Anna incredulously.

Or this:

"Yes, you may have that with my blessings." said the king magnanimously.

They're bigger, fancier words, but they take a lot of discription and widdle it down to one to two words. That's kinda what I'm after. I could go into simpler, longer descriptions, but I'd rather keep the discriptoin of the action or emotion as short and simple yet detailed as possible.

Dan101 · 07-02-2005, 05:50 PM

You can get rid of the ..."said Bob..." after the dialogue, as it would add interest and keep your work from becoming monotonous. For example:

"I'll never give in to your power!" Anna screamed at the top of her lungs, throwing her hand out to keep her distance from the unwelcome entity.

Somthing like that could help your situation aswell. It all just helps to make the piece more interesting.

Good luck! ^_^

Bad Craziness · 07-03-2005, 07:17 AM

I've always been a firm believer in making the dialogue speak for itself. No pun intended. Forget adding big, flashy words onto the end of something and concentrate on making your dialogue effective. I generally find that if your dialogue is written properly then it generally should read how you want it to. A sentence takes on the tone of incredulousness instead of you having to inform the reader of it.

Chris · 07-03-2005, 06:01 PM

If the scene, and the characters, and the situations are set up properly, then, like Bad Craziness said, the dialogue should speak for itself.

Something simple (and lame) like:

Quote:

Anna burst through the front door, swinging a bag of apples over her right shoulder. I stood up from the couch and watched her approach me. On her way she stumbled on a jandal I had left in the middle of the floor. In vengeance, Anna kicked it with the fury of a soccer player.

"How dare you leave these apples at my house," she said.
"I-- I --"
"Shut up! This is the last time I ever trust you with my jewellery."
"You don't understand."
"I don't care!" Anna flung the apples towards me. I jumped out of the way as they skidded across the coffee table. The apples spilled out of the bag and tumbled onto the floor.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

In my opinion, your examples:

Quote:

"You really want me to use that?" said Anna incredulously.

Or this:

"Yes, you may have that with my blessings." said the king magnanimously.

run the risk of sounding mundane, and repetitive. I know you want to be economical, but it shouldn't be at the risk of good storytelling. Also, using big words like "magnanimously" (which, although it could be because I'm dumb, I've never actually heard of before) seem so forced, and take you out of the story.

Also, although this might just be a personal preference, try to avoid ending dialogue tags with a "-ly" word. It can be more infuriating to read than "he said, she said, he said" etc. In my writing, I try to take as many of those words out as I can.

So in other words, I think you should take the time to set up the scene as a basis for the dialogue to play out. It might only take a paragraph or two, but if you do it right, then, in my opinion, the scene would work better. Adding expressions to end of dialogue tags just breaks the flow of dialogue, and can often seem like afterthoughts of the writer, as if they forgot to mention this information earlier.

I hoped my ramblings helped. If not, then discard.
Good luck.

Talia_Brie · 07-03-2005, 09:21 PM

In my opinion describing body actions and 'body language' is what "show don't tell' is all about.

On that front, finding a site that has a catalogue of these actions would be very useful. There is an Australian named Allan Pease, who has made a career out of researching body language. He's a very funny guy, and I've seen him speak once. He's a brilliant entertainer.

Look him up and see if he has his own website. Other than that, go out and get one of his books (should be available on Amazon.com. If not try Dymocks.com.au).

Knowing what your characters are doing means you can get their emotions across without having to say:

"I want you to die a slow death," Alex said crossly.

Lord Raiden · 07-04-2005, 08:45 AM

Yeah, that's the trick. I want to be detailed and descriptive without it becoming a problem in either directionn (ie too much or too little) It's proving to be quite the balancing act. lol. But I wanted to experiment in this direction a bit with some of my dialogue (ann mccaffrey does something similar to what I'm thinking about) and see if what I come up with helps, hurts, or has no effect on the story. But you can't experiement without the proper materials. ^_^

Saponification · 07-07-2005, 06:14 AM

You, outside.

Go outside now and take a pen and paper with you.

Sit at a cafe, on a train, at a station. Stay on the side lines and observe people interacting. Write down what they do. It's kooky and creepy, to take notes on how people live, but it works. Note their body language and idiosyncracies in how they speak - how they say certain words the wrong way, how they misuse other words, how they repeat certain things. Use this stuff when creating your characters.

Lord Raiden · 07-07-2005, 12:13 PM

Hmm, that's certainly an idea to try.

Oracle · 07-07-2005, 08:36 PM

Quote:

"You really want me to use that?" said Anna incredulously.

Or this:

"Yes, you may have that with my blessings." said the king magnanimously.

-ly words= beware.

Don't use too many -ly adverbs, because they get repetitive. Also, I find that when larger words are used to describe dialogue, they just get in the way. If you want your readers to feel the emotion in the dialogue, use as little description as possible. That way there's nothing to interrupt the moment, and they can freely visualize the characters speaking. Let the dialogue itself convey the emotion.

Also, rather than describing the tone of voice ("she said happily, he said gleefully, etc.) Try to convey the mood through action.

Example:

"You don't have the money?" Dante yelled furiously. "What the hell did you do with it?"

It'll make a better impact if it's said like this:

"You don't have the money?" Dante shouted. He crunched the empty bag into his fist and smashed it onto the table. "What the hell did you do with it?"