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| Tips & Advice Share your tips, tricks and advice. |
06-28-2005, 10:05 PM
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#16
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pliable
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Juneau, Alaska
Posts: 12,607
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Saponification
"Said" and "says" suit me fine. I'll only use something else if I have to cut off a toe.
And Hodge, you can get that seductive tone by demonstrating Linn's behaviour. Have her rub up against the guy, lean in close and so on. It's all about the body language.
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Yeah, umm, there's body language and there's the way you talk, two different things that are often equally important. It's quite a bit different to be rubbing up against someone than it is to just be talking in a sexy voice, and if the tone of the voice matters (and isn't apparent through dialogue—anger, surprise, and elation usually are) then you put it in. There's a reason we have so many different modifiers, and there's a reason we have adverbs. And I assure you, they aren't just there so people can tell you not to use them ever.
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"Let's go back to my place," Jane grinned.
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Careful there—you can't grin something. In order to make this work you need to change that comma to a period or put "Jane grinned" before the speech. I recommend the latter.
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Originally Posted by Drzava
Usually it takes at least 100 [posts] before people start to hate Hodge
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Science
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06-29-2005, 12:58 AM
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#17
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Writer
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 48
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Hodge
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"Let's go back to my place," Jane grinned.
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Careful there—you can't grin something. In order to make this work you need to change that comma to a period or put "Jane grinned" before the speech. I recommend the latter.
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Do believe I said...
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Originally Posted by jta_8888
instead of
"Let's go back to my place," Jane grinned.
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06-29-2005, 01:11 AM
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#18
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pliable
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Juneau, Alaska
Posts: 12,607
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You sure did. Whoops.
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06-29-2005, 05:34 AM
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#19
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne Australia
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,022
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Said's the best word. Generally, if you're going to use anything bigger than that, show it, not stick it on to the dialogue explanation.
However, I think the dialogue stands out better if you just use description around it, or dialogue on a line all by itself.
__________________
'Beauty stands and waits with gravity to start her death-defying leap. And he, a little charleychaplin man, who may or may not catch her fair eternal form spreadeagled in the empty air of existence.' - Laurence Felinghetti, 'The Acrobat'
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06-29-2005, 05:49 AM
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#20
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 489
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Hodge
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Saponification
"Said" and "says" suit me fine. I'll only use something else if I have to cut off a toe.
And Hodge, you can get that seductive tone by demonstrating Linn's behaviour. Have her rub up against the guy, lean in close and so on. It's all about the body language.
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Yeah, umm, there's body language and there's the way you talk, two different things that are often equally important. It's quite a bit different to be rubbing up against someone than it is to just be talking in a sexy voice, and if the tone of the voice matters (and isn't apparent through dialogue—anger, surprise, and elation usually are) then you put it in. There's a reason we have so many different modifiers, and there's a reason we have adverbs. And I assure you, they aren't just there so people can tell you not to use them ever.
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Sure, that example was an exhaggeration. You could describe how she's looking at your narrator and so on. It gets the message across. People can fill in the blanks. I'm very much into Minimalism with this sort of thing. I cringe when I find myself accidently writing something along the lines of: "Blah blah," Jane said happily.
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Metta.
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06-29-2005, 11:11 AM
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#21
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 746
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Well, body language and voice are different but one tends to imply the other.
"Of course, asked is another, but that's only if, well, one character asks another something. o.O"
Asked works but it's not really necessary. In English,you DO end a question in a question mark, so it's self-apparent. Again, though, asked IS, like said, just sort of... unnoticible, so it doesn't really matter.
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06-29-2005, 03:54 PM
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#22
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Writer
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 48
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If all else fails, never forget that you don't have to say 'said,' or use any other tag, for that matter.
For example:
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Originally Posted by In [i
A Density of Souls[/i], Christopher Rice]"Tonight."
"All right."
"Okay. Good then." Jordan's tone was abrubtly businesslike, proper. How does eight sound? It's a four hour drive and..."
"Eight's good. How long?"
"Four hours."
"Jordan, how long are we going to stay?"
"A few days," he mumbled.
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The only real tag used is "mumbled," and the dialogue still works.
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06-29-2005, 09:25 PM
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#23
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pliable
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Juneau, Alaska
Posts: 12,607
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Quote:
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Sure, that example was an exhaggeration. You could describe how she's looking at your narrator and so on. It gets the message across. People can fill in the blanks. I'm very much into Minimalism with this sort of thing. I cringe when I find myself accidently writing something along the lines of: "Blah blah," Jane said happily.
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Minimalism's great, but again, it's not always the best course of action. Easy example: you can not, through any amount of description or creative dialogual maneuvering, make someone whisper. Unless you put it in italics, in which case you're cheating.
__________________
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Originally Posted by Drzava
Usually it takes at least 100 [posts] before people start to hate Hodge
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Science
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