Even newer story idea (a twist off of the original Alice..) - Writers Forum

Gauda · 05-22-2005, 10:25 AM

NEW STORY IDEA:

Take a trip inside the mind of Alice Chan – a lonely, depressed, and maybe slightly mental girl living under extremely stressful conditions, including nagging parents and perfect friends – or at least that’s how she to see it. With so much stress in her life as a young adult and so many new responsibilities she has to tackle, one day she breaks down, thinking she is unable to handle any of it. Although a bright future shone ahead of her, Alice chose to accept death in the form of suicide, taking herself out of this world, hoping that all of her problems would come to an end.

Little does Alice know that after her death, she gets transported to a Wonderland unlike she would ever imagine. Through strange encounters with mystical creatures and a hyperventilating bunny that assists her in her strange journey, Alice remains tied to the world of wonder, yet somehow she is still stuck in the human world alone. Nobody is able to see or hear her, but she can see, hear, and even know what other people do and think. When she comes to realize who the people she had once lived with really are, she discovers how beautiful and how ugly the human world can really be.

After venturing through her Wonderland, Alice realizes she has not been playing the role of oblivious and naïve Alice, but rather her destiny is to become the voracious, selfish, demanding Queen of Hearts.

Eventually, Alice regrets ending her life in the first place, but cannot take back the mistake. She has to decide whether she wants to rule a life in her Wonderland as the ruthless Queen of Hearts (in which those she has encountered in her life will have to suffer for all eternity under her permanent ruling thumb) or return to earth and watch her friends and family wither away until they reach the ends of their lives. Either way, she cannot rest until the very last life of each resident has ended (in either world) … and whatever she chooses, she will have to suffer along the way.

Alice's wonderland consists of (instead of cute, fluffy characters) very dark perceptions of characters. I am not sure how to make the rabbit or Mad hatter (etc) but I'll have to consider that later in the story. I don't want to make them characters from her actual life, but I don't want to just pull them straight from the story (I can't do that, anyway) This story is not a continuation of Alice in Wonderland, but rather an allusion from the story.

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Ok, ok. Many people may say:

a) Aren't you supposed to be studying for your exams?
b) Don't you already have one...that one about this girl going ot Heaven?

To answer:

a) Yes, I will be continuing that shortly.
b) Yes, but I've decided that the story of Mikai will come to a hold - I want to save it for when I'm older and when my writing skills have developed.

ORIGINAL STORY IDEA

Moving on....here is the story idea. You might find it strange that I'm doing something so different from my other story, but I feel like I can relate to many more topics/people in this story instead of the other one. So enough of my rambling, here it is:

A girl named Alice is under a lot of stress and pressure in her life. One day when everything boils down, she hangs herself. Although she thinks her problems are solved, she wakes up, still in the human world...stuck.

With no place else to go, she's confused and angry at first. "Why don't they just send me to hell already?" Alice screams. She continues to wander around a world without her, and sees how people cope with her death.

There's a twist, though. It's not really a developed twist yet, but it is a twist.

Alice sees life through other people's thoughts. When she hears people talking, she knows what they really mean. When her parents discuss topics - about her death and not about her death - she can read their minds. When her friends talk, she knows what they're thinking. It's hard for her to swallow, but she eventually sees who the people she had lived with really were, and who they are now.

I am writing this in honor of my friend, who comminted suicide this year. My best friend was really close to her, but I knew her too. I knew how broken up she was inside, yet I wanted to take a different approach to suicide than what most people see it as.

So what do you think? I was discussing it with my friend, and she wanted to make it into a movie O_o kind of a mini independent film.

I know it might not be as great as my other idea, but hey, it's a start. I wanted to tie it more to realism than fantasy/sci-fi. Please give honest opinions, Tell me if it's too cheezy, weird, cliche....I won't get mad, I promise.

And as for the title.... Alice in Reality or some twist off of that.

- Gauda

103_smalls · 05-22-2005, 11:09 AM

I like it! It was sounding a bit cliche at first, with the whole "what would the world be like without me" theme being used a lot and all, but you gave ita nice twist, and I think that readers will respond positively to that.

As to the idea of suicide, a good friend of mine commited suicide a little over a year ago, so i can relate too. I like this idea a lot, and shall be very interested to read it some day.

Gauda · 05-22-2005, 11:17 AM

Thank you for your input, 103_smalls.

Yes, when writing it, I thought it sounded a bit too much like The Lovely Bones, how Susie watched a life without her go by in Heaven. I did think that idea was overly cliche, and wanted to mix things up a bit.

Actually, my ideas seem to be coming more fluidly than before when I was writing my story about Mikai. Strange.... maybe it's because I can relate better

103_smalls · 05-22-2005, 11:23 AM

probably! yeah, i find that when i even hear an idea that relates to me I get this streamflow of ideas into my brain like a waterfall... in face I'm getting inspired to write a poem as we speak!

Gauda · 05-22-2005, 11:25 AM

That's wonderful!!!

Lord Raiden · 05-22-2005, 03:24 PM

Here's a twist you can throw into this if you want. Have said person go through live with something different at the beginning. Say, instead of female they're male. Or they're living somewhere else, or they've got different tastes, parents, etc. Something to really kinda mix up the timeline by introducing a whole different personality or other aspect into the timeline to make things flow in a different direction.

butterflie · 05-22-2005, 05:53 PM

Sounds interesting... I like the twist!

Lord Raiden · 05-23-2005, 07:42 AM

Glad you did. One thing I've learned through all the experimental writing I've done over the years is, when you're stuck with something that's cliche, or potentially cliche, find ways to mix things up and you can turn something cliche into something unique and exciting. The example I gave was just one way to do that. Plus you're technically working with a temperal parodox and temperal mechanics, so given the law of time flow that exists in linear temporal theory (which would be what you'd want to use here) that says that "any event of the past, no matter how small, always affects the future" you should take advantage of that law and really go wild with it.

Now you don't need to specifically quote that element in your story, but rather use it as a base for your own thinking. Something like "if A is A in this situation with these criteria, what do I have to change to make A become B and once it becomes B, then what makes it become C and why this C and not that C" and so on. Eventually you'll end up with quite a unique and entertaining story that keeps the readers interest. Plus you can play around with a lot of different things that would make working with your charecter fun too. Say for example she remembers meeting her best friend when she was 6 shortly after her friend's parents bought the house next door to them. But being all excited to see her friend she goes over and inadvertently says something that makes the same said parents decide not to buy the house. Now she won't get to meet her once best friend until she's in her 20's. How will that change her school days? How will that change her relationship with her once best friend? What other ripples will this cause in the flow of history?

Just little things like that can really shake up a story and make it fun.

ladywarrior · 05-30-2005, 02:59 PM

Actually, my ideas seem to be coming more fluidly. Strange.... maybe it's because I can relate better

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that's how it is with my storyline. even though my friends don't know it half of the events that occur in my story line actually happened to me in real life or to someone really close to me.

kintaris · 05-30-2005, 04:24 PM

liked this idea. Sounds like it could go in a new direction - especially since it could actually go unsympathetically for the suicide victim. Because through what other people are really thinking we could learn some things about Alice that arent all that savoury.

I know this sounds a little harsh, but i'd like to read a story about 'life after suicide' where we actually didnt feel sympathetic for the protagonist. That would be an interesting twist.

Oracle · 06-03-2005, 09:27 AM

That sounds like an excellent idea. I'm more into fantasy/sci-fi epics, but your story sounds like one of the few earth-set stories I'd read.

Gauda · 06-23-2005, 11:52 AM

Anyway back to the topic.

Thank you for your answers, everyone!

Mia - yes I have read that book. In fact, I mentioned that book above earlier

I didn't really like it though....but I will discuss that later.

Lord Raiden, yes, I believe a cliche is the only way to keep the reader intrigued and interested in your story. If everything was just flat out, plain, and in a straight line - I'D probably put down the book and do something else. But I suppose all good books always have twists, right?

Thank you for the interesting suggestion though, I will be sure to take it into consideration.

ladywarrior - exactly! I was writing a sci-fi/fantasy story before, but I decided to stop because I couldn't relate to anything in the book except for the fact that my character was growing up in life and faced with challenges. In this book, I can relate so much more.

butterflie- thank you ^^

kintaris -- thank you very much. Actually, I was thinking the same way (yes, the idea was a little harsh...but I guess that's the way the plot has to be sometimes) I wouldn't want the reader to be tearing up as everybody mourns for Alice. Even though people feel pain, I want people to realize that Alice did something very selfish - and she can't bring her life back now, no matter what she does. I'm afraid if I go much further people will start thinking I'm going to grow horns and a tail...but if you want to discuss it feel free to PM me!

Oracle - thank you

It makes me really happy to hear that. I won't let you down!!!

Thanks again everyone! This topic is probably collecting dust by now, but oh well...^^

Verago · 06-23-2005, 01:24 PM

Nice idea.
I think it'd be a fresh take on a classic subject. I'd gladly read it.

Gauda · 06-23-2005, 04:01 PM

Thank you, Verago.

I was beginning to think that a story of suicide in which a character still watches a life without her/him unfold would be way too cliche. I hope nobody minds the fact that themes of Alice in Wonderland is tied into it.

For some reason I really like the Queen of Hearts idea

Hand · 06-26-2005, 09:08 AM

Alice Chan's It's A Wonderful Death

Interesting concept. I like brain-scrunchers like this. Love writing them, too. Can't wait to read the first chapter.

-Hand