Screenplay help - Writers Forum

captain insecurity · 04-30-2005, 07:37 PM

I am working on a screenplay which will utilize hypothetical situations and brief comedic flashbacks (i.e. Family Guy, Arrested Development)

What would be a technical format to properly create such parts?

Chris · 04-30-2005, 09:40 PM

like this?

INT. BOB'S HOUSE - DAY

Bob enters. Mary is sitting on the couch.

MARY
Remember when you worked at Pizza hut?

INT. PIZZA HUT

Bob eats a pizza.

BOB
I like this job.

INT. BOB'S HOUSE

Bob smiles.

BOB
Good times.

***

I'm not sure on whether to use FLASH CUTS: or FLASH TO: since transitions are more or less ommitted from spec scripts. I think the most important thing to remember is to deliver the scene as clearly as you can.

captain insecurity · 05-01-2005, 01:40 AM

Thanks, that's what I wanted to go for, more or less.
I wasn't sure if you had to use CUTS or something of the like.

mammamaia · 05-01-2005, 08:09 AM

cs...

A. you don't EVER use 'cuts' unless you are producing and directing the film yourself [or are a well-known writer/director]...

B. there's a lot more to it than chris' not-bad example...

C. if you want a good format guide and some tips on the basics of screenwriting, just drop me an email and i'll send 'em to you...

...chris... if i may, there are some things in your sample that may lead a beginner astray... hope you won't mind if i point them out...

- the slug line you used doesn't fit the action below, unless it's only a one-room house... it should read:

Quote:

INT. BOB'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

- first the setting has to be described, so where mary is in the room and what she's doing, has to come before bob 'enters'... so, right under the slug line, would go:

Quote:

Mary sits on the couch. A Pizza Hut box is on the coffee table in front of her.

- no 'ing' endings should be used in action, so it would be 'mary sits' as i've written above, not 'is sitting'...

-and, people don't usually just 'enter' or 'exit' in a screenplay, although those are used for stage and tv work... in film scripts you should show HOW they do it, to give us a clue to their mood, behavior, etc. ... so, it would be something like:

Quote:

Bob saunters in, sees Mary on the couch and helps himself to the last piece of pizza.

...you're absolutely right about not using transitions... again, doing so, or adding any camera directions is ok only if you're the director...

cs... if you want any help, you can drop me an email any time... many of those i mentor are aspiring screenwriters, so i'm working on such stuff just about every day...

love and hugs, maia
maia3maia@hotmail.com

captain insecurity · 05-01-2005, 12:15 PM

outforblood@gmail.com

thanks a lot!

mammamaia · 05-01-2005, 12:17 PM

you're entirely welcome, but YOU need to email ME, not v/v... ok?

Chris · 05-01-2005, 03:52 PM

Thanks for the corrections mammamaia.

lisajane · 05-04-2005, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mammamaia

A. you don't EVER use 'cuts' unless you are producing and directing the film yourself [or are a well-known writer/director]...

Actually, Mammamaia, I was told by my screenwriting teacher this morning when I was workshopping my script in class, to include a couple of cuts. So I wouldn't say 'ever'.

mammamaia · 05-05-2005, 08:05 AM

actually, lisajane, you might not and your teacher might not, but i would... and i do say 'don't EVER'... for a newbie writing a spec script, there is NEVER a NEED for a 'cut to' or any other kind of overt transition or camera direction [other than the beginning 'fade in' and ending 'fade out']...

every slug line IS a 'cut to' so to add any is both redundant and going beyond writing, to do the director's/editor's job...

i don't know the context in which your teacher advised you to use them, but it may be that s/he was referring to a script you were writing that you would also direct... that's the only logical exception i can see for the 'never' rule...

it's not going to get your submission tossed to have a couple of those things in there, but it does tell the industry-savvy reader that you are either not aware of the difference between a spec script and a director's or shooting script, or don't care...

there are ways to get a desired transition effect across without doing the director's job... that's what the best writers do... big name ones with big-money track records don't have to stick to any rules, but newbies with a first script would be wise to maximize their chances of impressing an agent or producer by showing they really know the ropes...

so, i'll continue to tell my screenwriting mentees to NEVER use 'cut to' or any other production directions in their spec scripts...

lisajane · 05-05-2005, 09:01 AM

Mammamaia.

While I respect you and quite obviously you're advanced in whatever writing you actually do, the following is not meant to be insulting:

Are you able to give your ideas in a way that doesn't say 'My word is the bible and you must absolutely follow my instructions or else?'

I don't know if anyone else gets that idea from you, but that's the general message I get from you.

Call it constructive criticism.

mammamaia · 05-05-2005, 09:13 AM

lj...

no, i don't take it as an insult, but i do think you read into my posts what's not there and not meant... i think i make it clear enough that what i'm giving is my opinion, based on what i know of the respective industry [publishing or film]...

please read my posts again, and you'll see that i don't ever say it's the bible, but just what i consider true and teach those who come to me for mentoring... and i almost always give my reasons for doing so...

to have to add 'imo' to every sentence would be silly, imo, because it's obviously my opinion, or i would be quoting another source...

and there is certainly no 'or else' said or implied... unless you refer to the probable consequences i mention in re work being acceptable to agents and publishers/producers...

i don't issue orders, just proffer advice and info that the reader can either accept or ignore, as s/he wishes... isn't that what these forums are designed for?... i'm not threatening anyone with death or dismemberment if they don't do what i say, am i?

call this constructive criticism of your criticism, ok?

hugs, m