Good bit of writing advice I ran across - Writers Forum

Nazareth · 12-20-2004, 11:26 PM

There's been some discussions on how to make characters seem real instead of flat personalities & I ran across some pretty good advice the other day on how to avoid this and give your characters that interesting feel to them.

Turn telling into showing- what I mean, I'll try to illustrate in two versions below. When your characters are in a scene, they are always doing things- not just reacting to the stories plot or to those around them- there are always 'triggers' that spark something in a character. As the advice suggested, if you're going to send your character into a park- make sure there is a reason for it ie: to show something about your character- How do you do this? By presenting triggers that reveal character. Take each scene you have, and make them come alive & be seen as purposeful by showing character- Even if your character is going to do nothing for the whole day except lay around, get caught up on sleep & just goof off (Sounds boring, right?) They must have a reason for doing so & you must show the audience this in order to bring the story from mundane/lifeless into compelling.

Following you'll see two scenes that say the same thing, but one is more descriptive and character revealing without actually telling the reader why the character feels as they do- it's a walk in the park by a troubled youth- not a very action oriented scene- but it can be made easily into a compelling one that shows a rounded figure.

Quote:

John ran into the park -- ran away from the fight that was going on in the kitchen between his girlfriend and her father. He just couldn't take it. He had been through a similiar past, and the anger still welled within him everytime Julie and her pop fought. He had to get out before the voices started again. His girlfriend was always screaming at him whenewver her father came over to visit. The park, he thought. That's the safest place to be alone. Can't hurt anyone there.

He slowly walked down the cobblestone path looking for someplace to sit down. A slight breeze carried the scent of honysuckle across his face. He couldn't stand it. The smell brought back memories of being beaten as a child for nothing more than not taking the garbage out doors right. Nothing he did ever wa good enough for his drunken, stinking father.

He spotted a branch on the ground. Maybe he'd carve again. He sued to like that, and he was good, too. Made lots of usefull things. Perhaps he'd try it one last ime. Too dangerous he thought. Before he knew it, several hours had passed, and it was semi dark. He looked at his lap and saw the shape that he had been working on, and screamed. He rose, ran for the apartment, and fell.

here we are told of some of the background and the reason why John can't stand it (Also note that I mentioned scent- scent is a poweful memory stimulator, and an easy way to show character as you';ll see in following paragraph). In the following paragraph- I'll try ot give a deeper reason for his escaping into the park, which will tie in better with the whole story instead of being a generic escape area.

Quote:

No! Not again, he thought. It came on like a mudslide. The head began to hurt and the uncontrollable trembling made standing in any one spot for long seem impossible. He covered one eye -- the eye where the pain began -- and slammed the screen door with the other.

"John ... don't you leave me. Not this time. You get back here and tell him. Tell him it's his fault. Don't you --"

John ran into the bushes behind the fire hydrant and pushed aside the chain-link fence, still holding onto his left eye with one unsteady hand.There, that's more like it. The scene before him at first had begun to whirl and spin. Bushes melted into green blobs, cobblestone paths heaved and rolled as if they were a carpet floating on the surface of the water, and the sounds of the animals began to fade in and out. Now, he stood and watched in the usual amazement as everything slowly regained all their right proportions again. It always amused him how a simple headache could distort the world so much. Even as a child, when shadows were monsters, and invisible animals squeaked and hissed and hooted, and generally just frightened the bejeebers out of him, he had always sought refuge in the only place he felt safer than he did at home -- the woods.

John began to pace the cobblestone path, back and forth, waiting for the pain to subside enough so that he could sit down and and carve. Whittling he was good at. Noone to critique his work out here. Noone to tell him he was an idiot. No more quick trips to the hospital for stiches, or casts. No sir. Out here he was somebody -- sombody important, somebody useful. He fingered the knife in his jacket pocket, picked up a fallen branch, and studied it. Yep, it was there alright. He could see the shape emerging, calling out to him.

John glanced at his watch. "Oh my gosh," he said to noone. "Has it been three hours already?"

His head no longer hurt, and the shapes of the trees seemed normal to him now. He exhaled and saw a puff of steam float across the path in front of him. Although darkness had set in, the trees had a ghastly tepid green illumination to them. He looked up and noticed that the street lamps were lit. His gaze fell the shape in his lap and slowly it dawned on him. He shoved the figure from his knees and swatted at the woodchips that covered his pants. He tired to scream, but the sound caught in his throat and all that came out was a gutteral grunt. Off in the distance he heard the ambulance. He leapt to his feet and began to run toward the apartment.

He landed hard. The stones dug into his flesh and he bit his lip -- the same way that he had bit his lip when his pappa had 'taught him a lesson'. John could still sense the barbs of the wire burrowing trenches into his back as it wrapped around his body over and over again. He lay on the ground and felt the warm blood as it ran down his forehead so many years ago. He licked his lips, and tasted that same coppery taste that had become so common to him that he had referred to it as an after dinner drink. No more, papa. No more kicks for you.

He thought about going back and picking the carving up. The pain was excrutiating, but he managed to ignore the gash in his palm, and he use his good arm to lift himself from the ground. Once on his feet he turned in the direction he had just come, took two steps, and that's when he heard the scream. Julie!

In the second one, (Sorry for being gorry) We get a bit better sense of why John likes to escape to the woods, what his mindset is, and get to see that something is terribly wrong with him. Later in the story, I'd work in the idea that while the woods was his safe-haven, it was also where he was when his pappa had murdered his brother. in the paragraph above, we see him in the woods where he feels safe, but something has happened while he was out there, and he doesn't know what. Was he responsible somehow? Was he irresponsible for wanting to be safe while Julie possibly in danger? Did he actual will something to happen to Julie or the father? Above, We also get to see that he found a way to stop the pain when he was a child- through carving- Carving what? Tune in tomorrow to find out

Here's the link to the article if you're interested:
http://www.worldsapartreview.com/character.htm

Nazareth · 12-20-2004, 11:58 PM

The article I ran across had a good writing excersize to do when you're planning out your scenes, or even things to think about if you just freewrite without plans.

The excersize goes like so:

Take a scene- like waking up in the morning- how does character feel? What are their thoughts? Are there any odors in the room? How do they feel about the sun shining in the room? The sound of the alarm? Is there a goal for the day? (Most of us when we wake lie there and think about what the day is going to be like- what we'd like to do etc.) Answering these questions and showing how the character thinks/feels about them can go a long way toward revealing and fleshing out character. Does the alarm clock send him into a panic? Does he remember air-raids as a child? Does the sun shining in make him angry, happy? Why? Does the sun make him feel like a new dreadful day has begun where he has to accomplish so many things but never can do enough to please people? If so, show us that by him lying there thinking about/ worrying about the day ahead, and then show us that he slams the clock on the floor, throws the blanket off- storms into the bathroom. If the sun makes him think of all the great possiblities, show us that in his thoughts, show us him gleefully folding the comforter back so he can get out of bed, stretch, greet the sun by opening hte shades, and merrily gliding into the bathroom (Where the next scene will take place)

Even if they're gonna laze around for the day, you need to state clearly by showing the character thinking about taking the day off.- then as you plan out, introduce obstacles- Say the person just wants to relax- but twenty minutes into the day, the phone wrings- a neighbor drops by, wants help doing something. Does character hate neighbor? Is neighbor a lout that uses people? Does the neighbor remind him of his father inlaw who he can't stand? Does the nieghbor say the worng things that cause your character to face his innadequacies? Even if there are no nieghbors in story, show the house as the enemy-lol. The pipes could be rusted & leaking & finally let go- He tries to fix them, but in process ends up making htings worse- He can hear his father's condescending laughter and insults as he's failing. He can bash his finger and when he does can see his wife's face twisted with contempt, anger, & show how she always berates him, just like his father used to. All sorts of posssiblities.

All thse things give insight into what your character is like, how they think, why they are like they are.

If your character goes to work- introduce obstacles- don't just describe his job and show conversations- show us what goes through their mind. Say he's a mechanic- he goes to work, and the first thing he sees is greasy rags all over the place, tools scattered around, nothing in it's place- He fumes inside about this, and will probably decide to confront that lazy co-worker who preys on his helping nature.

Maybe show the charactewr dreading that meeting with his obnoxious-loud- dorky boss who he'd like nothing better than to punch him in the nose and quit- but can't because he has eight kids to feed. Show how some odor in the garage reminds him of his son Timmy & reminds him that he's at his job because he has responsibilities- maybe even show how he is thinking of walking away from all his overbearing responsibilities etc. Show how the sounds at the garage grate on his nerves- the sudden whir of the pneumatic wrench reminds him of his daughter crying all the time- how he can never get any sleep, how his wife has been 'nagging' him about his aloof nature lately. Show how he thinks 'After all I do for them she thinks I might be having an affair? Is that what she thinks? I've sacrificed my life, and this is the treatment she gives me? No more. After today I quit," Tim Sr. said.

Scuse me?" Bob looked at him puzzled.

"Nothing. I was just thinking out loud again, I guess."

You get the point.- when you plan a scene such as work- try to include things and thoughts and smells and sounds etc, that will relate to what he is going through- use 'triggers' (Sights sounds smells, feelings objects etc.) that will cause him to reveal his inner character- you'll have a nice rounded character if you can do this- someone who the audience can relate to- even if they're evil- Evil people have desires too- even the most hardened murderer can have a cockroach or am ouse (Steven kings 'The Green Mile") that he cares for in his prison cell. You can really manipulate an audience by showing inner desires of characters no matter how vile they are

theguy311 · 12-21-2004, 04:25 AM

That's a wonderful link Naz, thanks for the tid-bit. Very helpful... well we'll see if it will be!

Emma LB · 12-21-2004, 01:45 PM

Thanks for that Nazareth! Your work is appreciated

Nazareth · 12-21-2004, 08:02 PM

Thanks folks- If I run across more advice like that site- I'll post it back in this thread

Also wanted to mention one book that I've found quite helpful in relation to description- simply named 'Description" By Monica Wood

One of the better books I've read on the subject & she covers quite a bit about the different areas of writing like when to use narrative, when to use description, pacing, etc. Her examples are quite good and bring home what she is talking about quite visually and easily.

Nazareth · 12-23-2004, 11:11 PM

OK I got the book By Nancy Kress- just came in today,. called 'Dynamic Chsaracters'. I've briefly skimmed through it & will give some of what she suggests here.

Characters seem flat? All your characters seem to speak alike? Don't know why?

One reason could be dialogue. Gotta do some role playing- by that I mean role play what you know. If you can get inside a character & think how they would think, you'll write good dialogue. Take any scene- like a person needing a loan- below are 3 examples of something simple like offering money to help someone out of a bind- note the differences in character:

1: "Think nothing of it, John," Pete said. I pocketted the roll of fifties. He slapped me on the shoulder, and said, "Been a long time. Where ya been?"

"College."

"Ah, that's right. Martha said you went for some higher learning. What college again?"

"Yale."

"Right. Sorry to hear about your problem, man. Don't worry about the money -- plenty more where that came from. Been making a killing on Wall Street. All those snot nosed college boys on the floor thinking they can stroll right in and clean up," he laughed. He tilted his glasses up on his forehead, and said, "Say, aren't you going to that supposed Ivy college?" as if he hadn't heard me the first time. "What's the name? Yell? Yawn?"

"Yale," I said and looked at the ground.

"Yeah, that's the one. I wouldn't be caught dead at a second rate college like that."

I grabbed the roll of money from my pocket, poked it at his chest, and let it drop to his feet. "Is that right?" I said, and left.

2: "John, open up," said a voice.

I eagerly opened the door and saw Sam, my grouchy neighbor, standing outside, his eyes darting everywhere but straight ahead at me. "Won't you come in?" I asked.

He thrust his hand at me. "Take it."

I grabbed the roll of money before it hit the ground. "Hey, what's this for?"

"My daughter said you had some trouble. Don't go gittin' all friendly or nothin'. Pay me back when you can."

3: Oh great, I thought. My neighbor -- Mrs. KMart special was outside my door again. Probably strung out and looking for another hand out. I eased out to meet her. "Yes?" I asked.

Kim stood before me glancing at her feet. I had the feeling that she might want to ask for another loan. Worst part was, I was broke myself. More than broke. I was in hawk up to my ears. She scuffed her dirty canvas sneakers in the gravel and gave me a quick, sheepish grin. Here it comes, I thought, and rolled my eyes.

"I was thinkin' maybe you could use this," she said. Her grubby hand edged toward mine, and I saw that she held a chocolate stained envelope with a rubber band around the middle holding it closed. I took the envelope and started to slip my thumb under the seal.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Ple ... please don't open it -- not right now." Her faced turned red. "It's ... nothing. This was a stupid airhead idea. I knew I shoulda just minded my own bisness."

She turned and ran across the street to her Skylark trailer with the stupid flamingo lawn ornaments scattered all over the front yard. I watched as she pulled frantically on the door knob. finally, the door swung open, and she bolted inside, the dorr slamming shut behind her.

I opened the envelope and gasped. A lump formed in my throat. How did she know? Had she seen me collecting cans down on 3'rd and Main? I thumbed through the twenties. Five hundred and sixty dollars. Not nearly enough to save my house.

I ran across the street and pounded on her door. At first she just yelled at me --go away. I persisted until finally she came to the door, eyes stained with tears. "What?" she barked.

I stood there dumb struck. I never did plan things out well. "Kim, I --"

"You think I can't afford it? Look. I don't need your pity, Mr. I know you don't think very high of me." I felt my face grow hot. She plunked her hands on her hips and pointed a defiant finger at the envelope. "That's nothin'. I can get more anytime you need it."

"That's not what I wanted to to say. I just --"

"You just take that and I don't want to hear no more about it," she said. She wiped at the mascara stripes under her eyes and stuck her chin up a bit. "You don't even gotta pay me back neither."

Three seperate scenes- three distinctly different scenes. (The last one I used a little too much dialogue tag to really convey Kim's feelings, but dialogue tags are useful as well as strict dialogue) In the last, we see both personalities quite well, one through inner dialogue, one through actions, dialogue tags, and conversation. In # 2 Sam's short gruff answers tells us he's crotchety, but has some inkling of kindness by his gesture.

anyways- if anyone got any good examples, please post em- Every bit helps-