Dialogue Question - Writers Forum

Airborneguy · 06-21-2004, 05:36 PM

I just realized I never asked this question, it is one of the reasons I even joined this forum!

I am having trouble with one aspect of dialogue: questions.

I normally do this:

"Where do we go now?" Steve looked puzzled as he asked the question.

- By seperating it into two sentences, I work around whether or not to do this:

"Where do we go now?", Steve asked.

I don't believe that is correct. Any tips?

eleutheromaniac · 06-21-2004, 05:51 PM

That's right, only it shouldn't come up to often, because in the course of dialogue you only have to introduce the characters once;

"bbb aaaa fff.", he said.
"qqqqe rrrrr fff.", she responded, "rrr ff ggg."
"hhhhh eeer ttttt?"
"dddd."

I've even seen dialogue where there isn't "," before "he said", and that's okay, too.

The only time you have to say "he asked" is when you don't think the reader will be able to infer who said what, or how they said it.

Joseph · 06-21-2004, 07:31 PM

Quote:

"bbb aaaa fff.", he said.

I've never seen that before. This is how I've always been taught:

"Well," Bob said, "I was thinking."

"What were you thinking?" Frank asked.

Bob sighed. "I can't remember."

"You idiot," Frank said.

Using double punctuation seems awkward to me, and I know it's not what traditional novelists use.

eleutheromaniac · 06-21-2004, 07:44 PM

Right, my mistake. dir.

It should be

"bbbbbbbb," he said.
"bbbbbbbbbbb," she whispered through the window.
"bbbbbbbbbbbbb!" he yelled. "bbbbbbbbb."

The entire line of dialogue, including the description of who said it and how it was said, is considered one sentence.

BTW: My point about not saying "he said" everytime only applies to a running, back-and-forth dialogue.

(geez, I must have had a case of the stupids in my last post, sorry 'bout that)

Airborneguy · 06-21-2004, 08:16 PM

thanks, that clears up a lot. I will go back and fix that stuff when I edit.

Jack Wyvern · 06-21-2004, 09:25 PM

Thanks a lot. I have seen it many different ways in books, but that makes the most sense to me. I will use it from now on.

Kermie04 · 06-22-2004, 05:59 AM

Thanks for this post, it cleared up a lot of questions that I had about dialouge myself.

Bad Craziness · 06-22-2004, 06:21 AM

I don't think it's necessary to have he said, she said after every sentence of speech. The key rule that I believe applies is whether, when you re-read your writing you are able to distinguish between the character voices. This is often directly related to how well you have created you character and whether the reader will recognise their distinctive tone.

Airborneguy · 06-22-2004, 07:29 AM

my main point was how to use the comma when a question is involved. This just never seemed right to me:

"Where are you going," Steve asked?

So I was hoping this was okay:

"Where are you going?", Steve asked.

See what I mean now?

Joseph · 06-22-2004, 09:36 AM

"Where are you going?" Steve asked.

No comma.

eleutheromaniac · 06-22-2004, 03:20 PM

Yeah, if you have a "!" or a "?", that takes the place of the comma.

Airborneguy · 06-22-2004, 05:22 PM

Got it, perfect. Thanks.

eleutheromaniac · 06-23-2004, 12:09 AM

The non-dialogue quote, I believe, is different.
eg
I don't know what you mean by "dirty". Could you explain it to me?

In this case, it is my understanding that the punctuation goes on the outside of the quotation marks. At least, that's the way I've always seen it done. I know this isn't what you asked, but just in case it comes up.

Airborneguy · 06-23-2004, 07:37 AM

Yeah of course, because you are only highlighting one word. That is like if you are having a character "think" something and use italics, it teh whole sentence is italicized, you will italicize the punctuation, otherwise, you don't.

Kimberly Bird · 06-23-2004, 11:19 AM

Good morning Airborneguy. I had the same problem for quite some time with that darn question mark. But I see you got it dealt with, no commas just the question mark, two spaces then a capital letter to start the Steve said, she asked, whatever.

I think one of my biggest hurdles when writing lots of dialogue was trying to avoid the he said she said stuff. I learned to cut it back to where only one character was highlighted most of the time. I hope you don't mind me sharing this with you. It strengthens my own writing as well.

Ex:
"Do you think marcus will remember?" Questioned Lidia as she stared toward the darkening forest.

"It's past the meeting time; I believe he may be entertained eslewhere," commented her companion Ralph.

Lidia unsheathed her light blade feeling a sudden sense of foreboding. "We enter without Marcus then."

"We need to wait for Marcus!"

The female warrior rounded on her friend in anger. "Then you wait alone."

Kimberly