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Old 02-27-2004, 06:06 AM   #1
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Ceridwen
What is the careful way of choosing words to describe...

Can you please help me?

Well, I sort of having this problem in using "right" words. That is, the right and appropriate words to describe a place, a person, a motion and an event. Some people who read my first chapters (of my novelette) usually says I use too much profound words (adjectives) but then I lack certain words or adverbs.

If you have any idea about this topic (and question), please inform me here. Thanks!
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Old 02-27-2004, 06:32 AM   #2
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Well, it's not the actual words that are "wrong", they are just in places where they aren't needed.

If your readers say that you use too much adjectives you have to check if you really need them. For example if you have a sentence like this, you ought to do something with it:

"A girl, young as a fragile weed in the spring and beautiful as the white, silvery clouds in the sky, whose eyes were like two finest almonds and whose dress glimmered in bright and vivid colors, ran quickly down the corridor with her hands swinging up and down by her side expressing her worry as did her small and pretty mouth, twisted in an unnaturally spooky grin."

The same could be said like this:

"A young and beautiful girl ran restlessly down the corridor. Her stunning beuty was distorted by the worried expression on her face."

My point is that the adjectives and adverbs should be where they are needed. In my example the word "restlessly" was needed since it makes the girl's motive for running clear, she's perhaps afraid of something. If they are there just to look pretty, they just unnecesserily inflate the story making it hard to read and follow. Of course there are times when a great number of adj.s and adverbs are justified, for example in creating the atmosphere, but when a girl runs towards you in distress her almond-like eyes aren't most likely your biggest concern.

So the number of adjectives and adverbs is related to the type of scene one is writing. Action scenes shouldn't pause too much ("Oww, now he's going to slay me with his sword. Quite an interesting sword, by the way, with its carefully carved...") On the other hand when the surroundings need describing it should be made.



Disclaimer: I may just be wrong in everything I've written above After all, there are as many styles as there are writers and none of them is better than the others (although they may be used in a better or a worse way).
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Old 02-27-2004, 07:03 AM   #3
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Wow! Thanks! I wasn't expecting someone would reply as soon as I posted it! Anyway, thanks! thanks! thanks! you helped me a lot!
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