DragonReborn

One problem that many new writers do is go into too much detail. It ends up being extremely boring, and before you know it, your "reader" ends up watching something more exciting--Bob Ross (no offense to him, of course). Here's an example.

The next day came quickly, so it seemed, upon the weary campers. The gray mist that had formed early in the day now faded slowly away into nothingness. Sunlight pierced through the disappearing fog, shining down on the blue tent. Trees slowly showed themselves...

Get my drift? Well, instead, wouldn't this be better?

The next day came quickly, so it seemed, upon the weary campers. Jessie, one of the three young boys whom shared the small blue tent, stretched as the sunlight pierced the fog. Silently, he got up and out of his sleeping bag, then headed towards the breakfast that lay upon the table...

Better, anyway. The first paragraph is pretty words, but who has use for pretty words? People want a story. Not pretty words. In other words, a good ratio would be...say...for every five sentences of action, let there be one sentence of information. It doesn't have to be exact, but if you have sentence upon sentence upon sentence of boring detail, it doesn't matter how good the story gets later on. If your first few sentences don't show any movement forward in the story, there is a high chance a person never will get into it.

Csira

It depends for me, what I am trying to convey. There are some points in my story when I need to write info, like the seasons (it is very important to keep track of them in my story). Although action is really more captivating, it really depends on the situation you want to show. In the first paragraph, you only wanted to describe the setting. In the second, you wanted to describe the actions of Jessie by incorporating setting. Different goals. Yes, it can get rather boring to read repetitive info (and carrying such a technique would probably be tedious for you and your reader). But sometimes the information is more important than action and needs to be written.

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DragonReborn

I agree. Info is very important. I am not saying that you should have five action sentences and one information sentence; having five info sentences in a row is ok if it is needed. Thanks for your input.

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lunastar

Yeah, the second example was definetly better. A lot of people should take it into heart because it's definetly a tip worth having.

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North

The next day came quickly upon the weary campers. Jessie, one of three young boys sharing the small blue tent, stretched as the sunlight pierce the fog, then silently got out of his sleeping bag and headed towards the breakfast table.

Willyshakespeare

Good imitation of beginning writing. But it's boring not because the progression is slow, but because the description is trite. If the description presented the scene in such a way as to make the reader see things in a new way, or a new light, or if the description revealed something interesting about the viewpoint character, then the reader would not be bored.

To go slow while also being trite--that's the beginner's curse (on the rest of humanity).

AdamR

I have trouble with this sometimes. I tend to fill in the context with nothing but descriptiveness instead of storyline, which can get annoying to the reader.

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Whende

Having action is important. But if you have a lot of action in a place but no information, how is the reader supposed to know what the setting looks like. An easy way for information to get out is through dialog.

If a character knows something about anything in the setting, then they can say it and it won't be as boring. The hard part about this is making the dialog sound convincing.

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AlongTheWatchtower

I actually enjoy the description for the most part. Probably cause I have a good imagination and its easier for me to understand the scene with greater detail. Description can be beautiful depending on how the author decides to expand and let us in.

But I understand how too much can become tedious. This is probably better left for another topic but its interesting how an author brings in a character to interact with the scene. What does she/he notice as opposed to whats described/set? What does he/she touch? Anyways, I'm just thinking aloud here. Carry on.

Hurley

I think blending the two to achieve ones goals is the idea. By showing the information through the actions and dialogue of the characters the reader won't get bored, they'll learn the necessary info as the story develops. For example, I wouldn't introduce the environement outside the tent until after Jessie leaves the tent - while he's lying inside it he wouldn't notice the fog yet.

The next day came quickly upon the weary campers. Jessie stretched and rose from his sleeping bag, careful not to wake his two sleeping companions. He emerged from the tent and into the chilly, sunlight pierced fog and headed towards the breakfast...

Robgb

Now, this is certainly better than the previous version, but I think you need to take it further. For example:

Jessie awoke with a foot in his face. Somehow Tony had gotten turned around in the tiny tent and his smelly sock was brushing Jessie's nose. Scowling, Jessie turned over, hoping for more sleep, then decided there was no point, he was already wide awake. Through a small nylon window in the top of the tent he saw pale morning sunlight trying to break through the fog. Sighing, he sat up and stretched, and suddenly realized he was famished. He sniffed. Did Tony's sock smell better than he'd thought, or was that breakfast cooking?

By staying with the character, you create much more immediacy and keep your reader interested.

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Kimahri

Something I have tried to do more in my writing is to be more descriptive because a lot of times I will feel more like moving the story along and avoid certain things that should be described. I think there is a balance between action and being descriptive. For example, Robert Jordan is a great writer but very very descriptive. He likes to include so much detail which is fine because that's how he writes and apparently people don't mind since he has sold millions upon millions of copies of his books, however for myself I like to write descriptively when I want the reader to take notice of that specific thing that I am describing where as a detailed writer like Robert Jordan likes to describe everything from what somebody is wearing to everything that is in a room. So I think there is a balance and it all depends on how you write and your style.

Kimahri

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