fgp123

I have a question.

When a character is monologuing what is the correct way in which to construct the sentences?


“You don’t understand.” She said “This field is forbidden. No one is allowed to go into this field. If we could, we would have cultivated it for ourselves.
When we fled from the group that chased us, we split up in the confusion. She ran into this field to hide among the tall plants. She didn’t know where she was, she was too scared. She knows we are not allowed in here.”


or




“You don’t understand.” She said “This field is forbidden. No one is allowed to go into this field. If we could, we would have cultivated it for ourselves. When we fled from the group that chased us, we split up in the confusion. She ran into this field to hide among the tall plants. She didn’t know where she was, she was too scared. She knows we are not allowed in here.”

Dan

“You don’t understand,” she said. “This field is forbidden. No one is allowed to go into this field. If we could, we would have cultivated it for ourselves."

She sighed. (or something else to break up the two distinct stories in the monologue)

"When we fled from the group that chased us, we split up in the confusion. She ran into this field to hide among the tall plants. She didn’t know where she was, she was too scared. She knows we are not allowed in here.”

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lin

No need to break it up without good reason.

The accepted convention, I would say is NOT to close quote in first graph, but open them in second, close them at the end of the quote.

"I have nothing to do with stupid rules made by incompetents and repeated by the ignorant until they take on an unholy non-life of their own.
"I would much prefer to make my own rules and prove them sensible enough to appeal to others on their own merits."

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seigfried007

I'll ditto lin here.

I've seen it commonly that the first paragraph is ended with a single quote and the ending double quotation mark is reserved for the end of the last paragraph in the monologue.

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Dan

Normally, I'd agree with you. But I read the paragraph several times and it just sounded wrong without a break. fgp is telling two different stories, and the lack of any kind of transition sounds weird.

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lin

That's up to fpg. If he wants to break in mid quote, that's the way it's generally done.

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Dan

True, true. I went beyond just formatting because I'm a snob.

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lin

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OtherWorlds

I think either way would be correct, fgp. I've seen the quotation marks used both ways. Basically, follow your own instinct on this one.

I like using the paragraph break here, because the subject is changing. Whether or not you want to insert a sigh or some other action between paragraphs is up to you. Again, either way looks good.

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Sam Winchester

Or you could do it this way:

'You don’t understand,' she said. 'This field is forbidden. No one is allowed to go into this field. If we could, we would have cultivated it for ourselves.

No speech marks at the end, start a new paragraph, and open your speech marks again:

'When we fled from the group that chased us, we split up in the confusion. She ran into this field to hide among the tall plants. She didn’t know where she was, she was too scared. She knows we are not allowed in here.'

And then close them to finish. This is how you show that the same person is talking, but they are now talking about a different subject.

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lin

Gee, great idea!

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Sam Winchester

Sorry, Lin, my sarcasm meter isn't working very well tonight. Was that sincerity or sarcasm?

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Don't unlock doors you're not prepared to go through.

Dan

Sincere sarcasm?

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lin

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fgp123

Thank you all for your replies, most helpful.