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Thread: Fighting the Flab.

  1. #1

    Fighting the Flab.

    Fighting the Flab.


    Welcome, welcome one and all
    To happy times at Fatso Hall
    My name is Herbert Marcus Brewer
    Better known as Herr Sturmbannführer
    ~
    Note, all our doors are super wide
    So all can squeeze themselves inside
    Now place your bags on the wooden stand
    Where there’ll be searched for contraband
    ~
    Off with your clothes, lay them on the floor
    Don’t worry madam; I’ve seen it all before
    Now what’s this secreted in your bra?
    Oh, two meat pies and a chocolate bar
    ~
    Let me introduce Professor Quack
    The inventor of the Reducing Rack
    Where all will spend so many hours
    Loosing the flab, which it devours
    ~
    Breakfast is milk and Carrot flakes
    Lunch is juice and Carrot Bakes
    Dinner, nourishing Carrot stew
    Supper a Carrot, on Tuesdays two
    ~
    On with the shorts and running shoes
    Yes, Miss Brown we’ll find some for you
    A jolly jaunt, just ten times round
    The dead guest’s graveyard in the old compound
    ~
    What bliss is in store, what fun it will be
    To relax in the steam room at 100 degrees
    All these pleasures and not a penny to pay
    Just board and lodging at a thousand a day.

  2. #2
    Now that made me laugh...but, seriously - write a serious one and set in the here and now. I am in that place, trying to get carefully through each day without going crazy

  3. #3
    This one was great to read as having an overly peppy salesman's voice.

  4. #4
    I've been so preoccupied lately that I almost missed this! I'm glad I've caught it now - we need more humour like this! Thanks for the giggle, John, Oh, and great poetry too!
    Life makes more sense if you don't take it personally.

    My Poems




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