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Thread: [ holy land ]

  1. #1
    Member Frankyette's Avatar
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    Apr 2015
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    [ holy land ]

    [ Verse One ]
    You have to understand
    That nothing gets any better
    Pretending that life isn’t a playground
    Being afraid of all the danger
    I’d rather everything was unplanned
    You’d never see a lover without appointment
    We’re stuck in no man’s land
    Where you are your only opponent


    [ Chorus ]
    You think you’re oh so clever
    When you’re oh so bland
    Everything’s smoke and mirrors
    Here in your supposed holy land


    [ Verse Three ]
    Our cloud nine has weakened
    I have a feeling that you only tell lies
    So this will be our last weekend
    There will be no more connections to our old ties


    [ Bridge ]
    You flaunt your every achievement
    They become shrines to your own design
    Your faults stopped being a secret
    Everything original in you dies
    And maybe this is why we should say goodbye


    [ Chorus ]
    You think you’re oh so clever
    When you’re oh so bland
    Everything’s smoke and mirrors
    Here in your supposed holy land
    "I was dead for millions of years before I was born, and it never inconvenienced me a bit." - Mark Twain, on if he was afraid of death

  2. #2
    I liked the chorus and the bridge, but the verses could use some work. I would suggest paring down the lines a little bit, making them a bit more hard hitting. Definite potential. Would love to hear the music that would go along with this.

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