Thread: Totally pointless posts

  1. #14691
    Member dither's Avatar
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    There's no point in fighting what is.
    What is being that I need to get a few more cans of booze for Sunday afternoons.
    I've just downed my last can, there will be no more until next week, I could be dead next week.
    If i post a comment on a "WIP", LOOK! I'm a reader that's all, and i can only tell how i feel, as a READER, giving/offering feedback. Hoping to learn and grow here. So please, tell me where i'm going wrong.

    Me? I'm just a fly on the wall.

    Look! I'm trying, okay?

    One can but dream, if only i had dared.

    "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong" Mahatma Gandhi.
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    I must find a way to Eastbourne and i so wish that i could dance.

  2. #14692
    Member Ol' Fartsy's Avatar
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    Cephalacaudal recapitulation is the reason our extremities develop faster than the rest of us.

    A cow has to eat grass to produce milk and grass is living.

    The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

    The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

    Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

    The "pound" key on your keyboard (#) is called an octotroph.

    The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.

    The "dot" over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

    Spiral staircases in medieval castles are running clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.
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  3. #14693
    Quote Originally Posted by Ol' Fartsy View Post
    Cephalacaudal recapitulation is the reason our extremities develop faster than the rest of us.

    A cow has to eat grass to produce milk and grass is living.

    The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

    The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

    Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

    The "pound" key on your keyboard (#) is called an octotroph.

    The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.

    The "dot" over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

    Spiral staircases in medieval castles are running clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.
    i do like tittle tattle...
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  4. #14694
    Quote Originally Posted by Ol' Fartsy View Post
    The "pound" key on your keyboard (#) is called an octotroph.
    That sounds like a very confusing Americanism. Back when Americanisms in computing were still something of a novelty in Britain we had no idea what that symbol was or its purpose. Its American use to indicate "number" was a substitute for the old British practice of writing "No.", so "No. 7" reads as "Number 7" in Britain. We often called that mysterious symbol "Noughts and Crosses", itself an obvious reference to the game apparently known in the US as "Tic Tac Toe" for some unknown reason. The symbol was also called "hash" for short, but I've no idea why that either as in culinary terms it looks more like a waffle than hash. It didn't matter what we called it because we had no use for it. "Hash" seems to be the standard term since it started to appear on phone keypads as an otherwise meaningless symbol for special purposes. In the UK the "pound" key actually is the symbol for the pound sterling, so it seems odd that Americans should call it that when it isn't on their keyboards, but American logic does seem erratic sometimes. The actual hash key is elsewhere on the UK keyboard.

    We found it amusing that as Americans seem to have dominated computer system standardisation even UK computer keyboards have a dollar key, which really is of no earthly use to us. A Euro key would be of more use nowadays given that we are more likely to use them than dollars, but the US seems fixated on the idea that the dollar is a universal concept demanding its own key everywhere. When it came to needing an otherwise useless symbol for a special purpose in the design of our computer systems we would often use the dollar sign because we knew that it would never appear in any of our data and neither would the hash sign for that matter.

    On the subject of the names of keyboard symbols, we would politely refer to the forward slanting oblique symbol as a "solidus" or "oblique" because "slash" is slang for urination and "needing a slash" means something quite apart from needing to apply the correct syntax to a text string. "Slash" is also actually slang for a solidus, the correct term. When it comes to a "backslash" the British mind boggles at the imagery and we could easily resort to saying "reverse solidus" to avoid it. I've no idea what the correct word for that is though. I worked in a very old, very traditional, very genteel English company, as you may imagine.

    Come to think of it, the word "solidus" may refer to any of the lines used for punctuation regardless of their inclinations, so maybe we also used the word for the vertical line, which only started to appear on keyboards later.

    The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
    That may be true in terms of modern semantics but historically any device, be it splint, taper, string or whatever, used to transfer fire from one place to another was known as a "match". For example the matchlock pistol used a burning string to ignite the charge. The innovation was the chemical match as a primary source of fire rather than a means of its transfer. Hence the general word "match" must be far older than "cigarette lighter" and what has caused this apparent anomaly is the change in its common usage to imply a chemical match, although matchlock pistols still exist and use "matches" in the old sense. Oh, I can be such a pedant at times, or maybe all the time.
    Last edited by JustRob; March 19th, 2017 at 05:14 PM.
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  5. #14695
    Member bobo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ol' Fartsy View Post

    Spiral staircases in medieval castles are running clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.

    Where do you read all that bullshit – we medieval knigths don’t hold hands AT ALL when climbing staircases.
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  6. #14696
    Quote Originally Posted by Ol' Fartsy View Post
    Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.
    Surely the invaders coming up the stairs would be ascending and the reason for fighting them off would be that God was not on their side, so the other guy probably was. The defenders would be the descendants as they would be facing down the stairs and presumably not retreating if they were any good. Anyway, when discussing the morals of people fighting on spiral staircases, bear in mind that the architectural term for such a structure is a "vice", so these presumably gallant knights were actually defending their vices. Hmm.

    On the subject of knights being right-handed, this was an advantage anyway because they could hold their shield on their left arm over their heart. With the sword in their right hand their scabbard would have to be on their left side. This in turn meant that it was easier to mount their horse from the left side. This in turn meant that it made sense to have the horse on the left side of the road to mount from the edge of it. Riding off on the horse it would be on the left of the road and it made sense to pass other riders to the left of them. This practice continued with the introduction of motor vehicles in Britain. Somehow Americans ended up doing things the other way around, implying that their ancestors were descendants of the devil if the same logic as regarding vices and sword-hands applies.

    The apocryphal explanation as to why the British drive on the left was not my creation and I am only repeating it here in a relevant context. I can't remember where I heard it so can't credit its originator.

    The "pound" key on your keyboard (#) is called an octotroph.
    And after all our previous scribble on this subject, apparently the correct word is actually "octothorp", meaning "eight points", according to various sources, but we Brits never cared what it was anyway. It was just "that American thing that we don't use". Evidently the Bell telephone company had to invent an official name for it because there wasn't one when they put it on telephone keypads. That means that Americans must have been using it without giving it a proper name for ages beforehand.
    Last edited by JustRob; March 19th, 2017 at 06:09 PM.
    Do you have any feedback to give about beta reading? If so see HERE.

    www.MensTemporum.uk - Fiction or prediction? What inspired my writing? Judge for yourself.
    'Sharing an experience creates a reality.' Create a new reality today.
    'There has to be some give and take.' If I can take my time I'm willing to give it.
    'The most difficult criticism that a writer has to comprehend is silence.' So speak up.

  7. #14697
    WF Veteran Winston's Avatar
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    Things have been so... weird (there's a Premium Level writer's word).
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  8. #14698
    The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
    That may be true in terms of modern semantics but historically any device, be it splint, taper, string or whatever, used to transfer fire from one place to another was known as a "match". For example the matchlock pistol used a burning string to ignite the charge. The innovation was the chemical match as a primary source of fire rather than a means of its transfer. Hence the general word "match" must be far older than "cigarette lighter" and what has caused this apparent anomaly is the change in its common usage to imply a chemical match, although matchlock pistols still exist and use "matches" in the old sense. Oh, I can be such a pedant at times, or maybe all the time
    .

    Spot on, one of the commands to gunners in Nelson's time was 'Light matches', they didn't get out a box of Bryant and May.

    Cigarettes are largely a product of the nineteeth century laws that were passed against spitting in public places when Pasteur's discoveries about bacteria became known, before that ordinary people chewed their tobacco and spat all the time, there were spittoons in public houses. When they passed the law it was largely complied with, and deaths from upper pulmonary diseases dropped by a huge amount, something like 60% if memory serves me right, I always think of it when I see Footballers spitting on the tv., why Are they not arrested as they leave the field? There are lots of policement at football matches, and there is photographic evidence.
    Last edited by Olly Buckle; March 20th, 2017 at 11:29 PM.
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  9. #14699
    Advanced Mentor The Green Shield's Avatar
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    TMW you write a future scene in your fantasy and it turns out to be...


    A scene where young Mishu Jerni finds herself recovering in a cave somewhere outside the main city, and the person who rescued her is a Devonian woman who had, uh, ‘rejoined nature’. By that, I mean in all aspects including no clothes.


    Let me just repeat that. Mishu wakes up and discovers she's in a cave, and her rescuer is a nude cat-lady.



  10. #14700
    Member Ol' Fartsy's Avatar
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