Thread: Empty Hands (Adult themed)

Empty Hands

She's Daddy's favorite gloves, often used
then tossed aside;
where every boy who picked her up
tried her on for size—
their clumsy, adolescent dips
in between her thighs, to lips
that slip around a truth
too hard to swallow:
Like those empty gloves, inside she's hollow.

Passed from hand to hand
she never finds that perfect fit—
Daddy saw to it.
With every crook of finger
across baby skin, he carved her up.
An open, tender bud
from which he plucked—

She hates him? She hates him not?
Questions that the flower cannot settle;
a pet theory her McShrinks often peddle.

And late at night she wonders;
if life is such a precious gift
from God, why does living
only make her feel so cheap?
Then she pops another Xanax
with Bacardi, and quickly finds
the empty hands of sleep.

Wow, Cin, just wow. I don't recall ever reading something so sad from you, save for maybe one piece, the one about bias, I believe. This tears me in two, for your words, all carefully selected and beautifully married, describe absolute wretchedness. McShrinks is brilliant. I'm in a murderous mood, so I'll have to return to this one, which I think is something I'll be doing a great deal. This is excellent, love, and moving, so very moving, even in my current state. Kudos, Sis, and bless that talented pen and wonderful mind of yours. I'll be back...threat or promise is up to you to decide.

Thank you Lisa. A bit of a departure for me, I know, but I'm glad it worked for you. I hope you feel better soon and I'll hold you to your promised threat.

I love the last line
"empty hands of sleep" says so much

the image of the flower petal being plucked, and those related lines, were quite powerful

I know very well that there are lots of girls out there like this, so this piece really rings true

---todd

This must have cost you a lot, in terms of emotional currency ...Not an easy poem to write and daunting to read. You made it flow so effortlessly .Your metaphor was brilliant! As I have said before, your precision in choosing just the perfect word is unmatched. Well done....Peace...Jul

Thank you todd, your views are always appreciated as I am a fan of your works.

Firemajic, it's so good to see your pretty self here again, you've been missed. I hope you frequent this joint more often. Thank you so much for commenting on this.
Yes, this piece comes with a high price emotionally. I have family members who have had their lives devastated by the despicable acts of the father. And the damage is a generational one, passing to their children on so many levels, even if not in the form of sexual abuse. The drug usage, alcoholism, broken marriages...the list goes on and on. Very heartbreaking.

Cindy, after these years, I'm sure you know that I have great respect and appreciation for writings which seers through the proverbial page - capturing portraits of those who've been in familial sexual captivity. Superlative, reaching work, here.

Like those empty gloves, inside she's hollow.

Heartbreakingly brilliant.

Gumby, this seems very well constructed. I only thought one word out of place. Unless it is a personal reveal of the writer, the word "me" seems out of place to me. I like "her" better there. But then that messes up your colon, so I don't know. The petal analogy seemed a tiny bit cliched, but it is evocative.

It packs an emotional punch. The harsh reality of her daily coping at the end, the pop culture references, stands in odd, but I think effective juxtaposition of the lyrical beauty of the first two stanzas.

Laurie, thanks so much for commenting here, I know that you are a wonderful advocate for those who have been abused and such praise from you means a lot to me.

alan, you hit upon two of the three things that I fretted over in this poem. The cliche of 'petals' and the 'me', opposed to 'her'. Great eye you have there, thanks so much for that. I've cut out the petal line, changed me to she, and changed the colon to a semi-colon. Do you think that works better? I'll be interested to see what others have to say, also. Since no one has mentioned the third little nit I had, maybe it was only me.

I read this again, and found the piece gains power with repeated readings - or maybe it was the tweaks you made - I do like that you took the explicate reference to the petals out, the allusion to them is more effective -

Regarding these lines...

Originally Posted by Gumby

A tender, open bud
from which he plucked—

...I feel they are better as:

An open tender bud
from which he plucked -

This seems to flow better, first of all, and for some reason, to me, evokes more of what you are trying to portray here: the sinister defilement of her rosebud-innocent body - the simple switching of those two adjectives made it more vivid for me.

---todd

Great suggestion todd, I've made the change.

This is just...gorgeous. It made me feel melancholy, almost to tears, just from the raw emotion.

Why thank you dark harou, you're very kind. I know that this subject is hard for a lot of people to comment on, myself included. Sadly, it happens way too often.

Hi Cindy,

Sorry I've been away for some time, but this poem is absolutely heart wrenching. I could not believe it was written by you. As you stated, it happens way too often, more than many of us like to talk about. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you Cindy. Yes, a member of my family has really been through hell because of this. It is heartbreaking.