Thread: Another Selfish Sacrifice

He was dead inside; that silly little kid
Not knowing his purpose. No will to live

Who is really to judge and jury his decision?
Selfish little bastard left because of remission.
We take the burden – heavier now without merit
Problems don’t disappear; your next of kin inherit

So now you see -- walls built for others
The blockades and locks, your hiding under covers.

You killed your own sunlight, the friendship of souls
You had only need ask, we could find you a goal.
Instead just ignorant and loathing – whinging on knees
You knew I was here. You needn’t say please.

But you were dead inside; you silly little kid
Now I have purpose. A will to live.



I'm a little hesitant at posting this. I feel it's missing something that drives home the ideaology. But I guess that's what you're here for. so please disect what little genius I have left. This is sadly the only thing I have managed to write in over 6 months; no doubt it shows.

Enjoy, blah blah blah. I hope you're squinting.

This piece has potential, but you are right, there needs to be further clarifying content - at the beginning, I immediately began to wonder who the "little kid" was, and what was "his decision" - I don't feel like I got the answer by the end.

I do really like this line:

You killed your own sunlight, the friendship of souls

it has punch - maybe clothe more lines with this sort of finesse

---todd