Thread: The Card

Words inside mimic flowers
splashed across the front; fragrant
sweetness, delicate meanings,
all things a mother wants.

I sign my name, seal
envelope and deal – you pretend
they touch you– and I,
that they're real.

This has such a soft delicacy to it, I really felt the emotions behind the poem. The subtle rhyme in the 2nd stanza also added to the frailty.

I see just the opposite. The last verse leaves me with the feeling of loss at a relationship that is now devoid of emotion, jaded, hard, dead. Your card does not express that much sadness, that's usually when we know it's over.

fp

That's what poetry is, a different interpretation for every reader.
Now I'm curious to know what Gumby's feelings were when she wrote this.

Reading this poem is like taking a drink of coffee, expecting hot fragrant brew, and in reality getting a mouthful of cold bitter stuff that leaves a bad taste in your mouth , and when poured out---leaves an ugly stain in the sink...Now--that is a compliment ---I know it does not sound like one---but it is! Bitter and hard to swallow---but with a terrible ring of truth.So awfully sad, leaves me with a lot of questions and a stain of grief on my soul. You have broken my heart...So elegantly poignant, Makes me want to call my Sons , and tell them how much I treasure our wonderful relationship. This is truly your best! I hope this is not your reality---but I am afraid it might be, as the pain is so authentic ....Peace...Jul

Thank you all for your comments.

CP, I'm glad you saw the delicacy and the frailty here, the fact that you caught it shows you have a very kind nature.

fp-- lost is a very good word to use for the feelings expressed here and I can see where you felt that the emotion was dead. Though I think maybe 'put on hold' is a truer description.

Firemajic, as always you go straight to the 'heart' of the matter, thank you for that and for your kindness of spirit.

What a beautifully sad poem--beautifully written, but a sad story. After reading it again, I could visualize the sadness (and an emptiness) on the subject's face as they stared at, opened, and fondled the card. Great work.

You've outdone yourself, my love. I adore that it can be taken from the POV of mother or child as the giver, the roles can be swapped and it still works wonderfully and that's not easy to do. I've been back to read this numerous times as it's haunting me with its beautiful sadness. You've taken an encyclopedia of emotion and magically condensed it to a few short yet extremely powerful lines. The Baroness of Brevity at her best. Bravo.

Thank you River Girl, for your kind comments.

Lisa, thank you so much for your opinion on this one. I'm glad it worked for you, sweetie. Your thoughts mean a lot to me.

oh my

I have a memory. I was legally and almost totally blind growing up and our class made little hangie things for mother's day out of burlap with a dowel in the top and a string to hang it on a peg, nail or what-have-you. They were decorated with felt cutouts and other classmates cut them out for me because I couldn't see the lines on the papers pinned to the felt. They had flowers on them and the words "You have touched me I have grown". My mother pretended to like the gift but the next time she yelled at me for whatever, she mocked it. Said I'd grown like skunk cabbage.

Pretending doesn't seem to last. But even while the pretending happens, you want to believe it is more than pretense.

How painful that must have been annie. I know that mother daughter relationships are not always what we want them to be and sometimes pretense, hollow as it is, is all we have. *Big Hugs*

Originally Posted by astroannie

oh my

I have a memory. I was legally and almost totally blind growing up and our class made little hangie things for mother's day out of burlap with a dowel in the top and a string to hang it on a peg, nail or what-have-you. They were decorated with felt cutouts and other classmates cut them out for me because I couldn't see the lines on the papers pinned to the felt. They had flowers on them and the words "You have touched me I have grown". My mother pretended to like the gift but the next time she yelled at me for whatever, she mocked it. Said I'd grown like skunk cabbage.

Pretending doesn't seem to last. But even while the pretending happens, you want to believe it is more than pretense.

More big hugs for Annie.

I cannot touch this for fear of resorting to another of my rants in which I would scream the most vile of things. That said, I guess I'll have to settle for adding another so-called parent to the WF Hall of Shame. Such unkind despicable behavior unbefitting for any Mother.

The good news is that one can learn from negative examples, too. If you look, you can always find one or more nice things to say about what your children give you (or poems on a website or potluck dishes brought by co-workers). Be honest, say the nice thing and mean it. Examples abound.

Thank you all for the hugs. Amazingly, my husband walked over to give me one, too. Perfect timing.