Ghost.X

Most of my writing is rather subtle, even if the majority of my muses contain big worldly ideas, and things of fantasy and science fiction, but for now, I delve in more subtle things. But I thought I'd take it a little more to the extremes with this one.

David Rose. I always thought it was a beautiful name, or at least when you said the whole name with the Rose part. David was maybe a little too generic. So I said his whole name when I had the chance.

He was a great guy, David Rose; I think you’d have liked him. Or at least you might have before - well I know I did. He was a saint, I swear to god. You would have never thought otherwise. He was always so considerate of other people, even at his own expense. Like this one time when I was really late for class; I accidently ran into him in the school hallway while I was carrying books. I was running so fast that I winded him and he fell and hit his head. I must have said sorry over a hundred times, but he insisted that it was his fault, and then he helped me with the books I dropped. Such a sweet guy, I know you would have liked him. He would never get mad for any reason either, but he was stern when he needed to be. Like when his little sister would run into bullies and he would run to protect her. Boy was he a scary person then. Yet, he always kept control, and almost always avoided a fight. Those bullies can be pretty scary too though. I don’t think they went to school; they just hanged around the streets looking for trouble I think.

But I don’t think there was anything he wouldn’t have done for his little sister. But who wouldn’t really, except maybe those bullies, she was a real angel. I always thought it admirable, the love he had for her. I think maybe I was a little jealous then too. But then I look at this picture of his little sister to reassure myself; who wouldn’t love her. It wasn’t just that though, it couldn’t have been. I think something told him that he had to protect her at any cost, no matter what. I wish I could have seen that sooner though. I’m so sorry.

He’s a tall and handsome boy with short combed light brown hair and these beautiful blue eyes. My friends knew I had a crush on him and they always urged me to talk to him more. I would always be so nervous and I had to look into a mirror to make sure I was perfect. My friends say he likes long, loose wavy brown hair. I don’t know how they knew that but I had the long brown hair, I just had to add a bit of wave to it.

Finally one day, after taking a long look in the mirror, I decided I would ask if he wanted to go out for a movie maybe. We did small chat often enough so I thought it would be no problem. It took a lot of effort for me to just ask him, so I was really hurt with what he said.

“I’m really sorry Kate; I would love to but I was planning on taking my sister to the zoo. Maybe we can do it another time?”

“Oh, ok, no problem, another time.”

Yeah, I was pretty mad at him for a while. But I forgave him. He couldn’t have known how much I wanted to go out with him right? So I left it at that for now.
But the next day, I thought I’d hold him up for his word.

“I’m so sorry, you see, my sister actually got a high fever, I’m going to have to take care of her for a couple of days. I hope you can wait a while? I really would love to see a movie with you, really, I would.”

“That’s perfectly ok, I understand. I hope your sister makes a healthy recovery; until then.”

Now I was really mad. Why did his sister have to go and get sick? I tried not to feel too mad about it because then I would feel a little guilty. It’s not his or her fault really. That’s what I told myself, but I couldn’t help but clench my fist a little.

So I waited. It must have been about a week since I last seen him then. I was really getting impatient. I would often look back at his empty chair in class, even if I knew he wouldn’t just show up if he hadn’t already. He said it’d take only a few days didn’t he? She can’t be sick that long. My friends told me that his sister has some sort of condition so she gets sick a lot. I don’t know how they know that either; rumours’ maybe.

I think it was Monday when I finally got to see him again. Actually, I know it was Monday, because I remember waiting anxiously all weekend to see him again. I caught him walking into the school court holding his sister’s hand. I tried to act casual about seeing him, but I don’t think I could contain my excitement.

“Hi David! I see your sister is well again, I’m glad to see you back!”

I swear to god, if he would have put it off again, I don’t think I could have contained my disappointment.

“Hey Kate. Yeah Marley made a healthy recovery as you can see.”

I patted her on the head with a smile; a bit of a habit when I see her. Then I thought maybe I didn’t say much to her at all.

“Hi Marley, feeling better?”

She just smiled. I guess she never said much either.

“Say Kate, didn’t you want to go see a movie? I think we can do that tonight if you’re still up for it. My sister will have to join us too of course. We live by ourselves after all.”

I think I must have stopped smiling half way through his sentence. His sister has to come too? The one time I thought I could be alone with David and his sister has to come too? I was so disappointed that it was a couple of seconds before I realized I had to shake a stupid look off my face. I hoped he hadn’t noticed, but of course, he did.

“Are you ok? Is tonight not a good night?”

“Uh...no of course not; I mean, yes, tonight would be perfect. I just got today mixed up with Tuesday. Tuesday wouldn’t have been a good day but tonight would be perfect.”

I think that lie went smoothly.

“Ok great, we’ll see you later then.”

I just have to make best with what I got now is what I thought. He loves his sister after all. I just got to love her too.

We met up later on at the movie theatre. I didn’t really care what we watched, as long as I got to be with him. We ended up seeing a suspense thriller. I thought it was perfect cause then I could use scary scenes as an excuse to hold on to him. Of course, that didn’t happen. His sister ended up sitting in between us. That really annoyed the hell out of me. Instead, her sister was holding on to him, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was left out. I barely paid attention to the movie because I couldn’t help but look his way every now and then. Of course, he and his sister were right into the movie. Tonight wasn’t going as well as I had thought. I just couldn’t wait until the movie was over.

Finally when the credits started rolling, I immediately stood up and gave this big fake stretch.

“Wow that was a great movie. Shall we go then?”

As we were leaving I was thinking of something to prolong our date. Or at least I thought of it as a date. I couldn’t just leave it at that, I didn’t even get a chance to get close to David because his dam sister was in the way. I patted her on the head again, maybe a little harder then I usually do.

“Ouch!”

“Oops, I’m sorry; did I pat you on the head a little too hard?”

“Yeah, it’s ok though, it didn’t hurt or anything.”

Of course, she was always such a little angel.

We were just outside the theatre when it occurred to me that we lived in opposing directions to the theatre. Dam my luck. I guess he can’t just walk me home. David was holding his sister’s hand when he turned and looked at me.

“Ok Kate, thanks for the movie, it was great. I hope we can do it again sometime. I have to go home now though; Marley has to go to bed soon.”

“Wait!”

David was looking at me but I didn’t have anything to say. I just kept thinking of an excuse to hang out a little longer. Anything would have done.

Then I thought of the perfect thing. Whenever I need some fresh air or just to be by myself, I go up to my apartment rooftop. I looked to the sky. Tonight the air was nice and cool; the moon was in full bloom and the stars were shining. Plus, it was always a great view, especially at night when the city lights illuminated the horizon.

“There’s a place I would really like to show you.”

“Where?”

“Just follow me; I think you’ll like it.”

“Maybe another time, we really need to be heading off to -”
“It shouldn’t take long, please?”

“...ok.”

I think my face just lit up right there. I know my mood did. Finally, I can get some more intimate time with him.

__________________

My Catch Phrases: ALIBIBIDAK! FISH'N'CHIPS! IT'SDAHBOOTIE! BOO! HIO CHANG!

Ghost.X

We started walking towards my apartment building. I was so excited, tonight was just the perfect night for this, I should have thought of it sooner. I couldn’t help but cling onto his arm and act like I was a little too cold. He didn’t seem to mind. He just smiled. His sister was on the other side too, but I didn’t care anymore. I just thought we must have looked so cute walking down the street like that.

When we arrived at my apartment, I think he must have looked a little puzzled. But I opened the door and led them to the roof. It was a dark stairwell to the roof, but once I opened that metal door, I could feel the cool breeze rush through the opening. Yes, it was a perfect night. The roof was actually a bit crumby. There were some satellite dishes, pipes, and cinder blocks around, but that didn’t matter. I immediately ran up to the edge of the roof to look at the scene. I could see straight down the long street that was perpendicular to the apartment building. I saw rows of street lamps and illuminated buildings as far as our view point could allow. It wasn’t the tallest building in the city, but you could still see a lot. You could hear the cars driving by far below, but it was faint enough to be soothing. I looked up again to see the stars twinkling, and the moon casting a subtle glow in the sky. I took a long deep breath to feel the cool air fill me, and it smelled so sweet, like cool night air should smell. Beautiful, tonight was so perfect. I peeked behind my shoulder in the perkiest way I can to see if David would come follow me, which he did. He stood beside me and also checked out the view with his sister not too far behind.

“Wow, the view is great up here, you come here often?”

“Yeah, whenever I need some time alone, this is where I am. Isn’t it great?”

“Yeah, it really is.”

I looked straight ahead with a big smile on my face. Yeah, it was a great idea. We just stood there and let the scene envelope us. We didn’t say anything, but I felt as intimate with him as I could get. It would have been perfect if it stayed like that for at least ten minutes, but I don’t think it was even a minute before his sister started up.

“I’m really tired, can we go home?”

“Ok, we got to go now, thanks for bringing us up, it was really nice.”

Suddenly my mood was shattered. Finally some good times, and it couldn’t even last a god dam minute. He grabbed his sister’s hand and turned around, but I immediately turned to block his path. I just couldn’t help myself, it was too soon.

“Wait! But you just got here! Can’t you just stay a little longer?”

“I’m really sorry; I don’t want to risk getting her sick again, besides, it’s getting really late. She has to get her sleep. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

“Why does it always have to be about your sister?” I should have just let him go, but I was really mad, I just couldn’t help it. “It’s always about your dam sister! Why can’t you just do what you want! She can take care of her dam self!”

“Kate, calm down.”

“You act like she would shrivel up and die the moment you leave her alone! That is just ridiculous! I’m getting sick and tired of this bullshit!”

His little sister was tugging on his shirt.

“I want to go home now.”

“Just one night alone, is that too much to ask?”

“Brother, can we go now?”

She was really starting to annoy me.

“Would it really be hard to get a babysitter? It doesn’t take that much, I’ll even help you pay for the cost!”

“Brother, she’s scaring me, can we go now?”

“Shut up!”

Finally my patience has dwindled. She just wouldn’t shut up. So I pushed her. Maybe a little harder then I should have, but I was really mad. I swear to god, if I knew where we were standing; where she was standing; I would never have done it, but I was so mad, I couldn’t help it. When I pushed her, she tumbled over the stone boundaries and fell, just like that. It all happened so fast. Of course, David and I tried to catch her. But she just fell too fast. David screamed her name as she fell. I can just remember looking over the edge, listening to her screaming all the way. I was so helpless, and I could already feel guilt tear at my heart. It wasn’t a clean fall either. Her screaming abruptly stopped as she hit her head on a street lamp before she flipped and hit the ground with a loud thud. There was blood splatter around her. People were screaming and crowding around her.

Tears immediately filled my eyes as I gawked and pulled my hands over my mouth. Slowly I just stepped backwards, nearly stumbling over a cinder block. My mind was completely blank, and it seemed I had forgotten everything. I turned my gaze to David. He didn’t move; he was frozen in place like a statue looking over the edge. He had this stiff look of horror on his face with his eyes as wide as they could be. It was a cold night, but I felt as if the whole building was aflame as the sweat boiled on my forehead. My whole body was trembling; I could barely pronounce the words as they quelled in my throat.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

“She’s dead.”

“I’m really sorry, it was an accident, I’m sorry; I really am.”

“You killed her.”

“I didn’t mean to, it was an accident, I’m so sorry.”

Finally he stood up from his frozen state and slowly turned to look at me. His expression transformed into something else, something I can’t completely describe. It was an expression of something that transcended fury. It was his eyes that were most frightening. They looked right into mine with demonic conviction. I knew right then that he hated me more than I ever thought possible. My saintly image of David was completely broken.

“I’m so sorry David, please forgive me. I would never hurt your sister like that. It was an accident, I didn’t mean to.”

“You killed my sister!”

I coward behind my arms as if to defend myself from a mighty blow. I think the people all the way down on the streets could have heard him. He quickly and firmly walked towards my position. Again, I coward, and then screamed. He backhanded me across the face with enough force to throw me off balance. I fell to the stone floor, crying.

“You killed her!”

“I’m sorry.” I was struggling to say anything behind my sobbing.

Slowly, he clasped his grip around a cinder block and picked it up. My eyes shot open at the sight and I gasped.

“David, wait!”

“Marley didn’t deserve that fate, she didn’t. She was such a sweet little girl. What did she ever do to you?”

I was so scared; I couldn’t just pick myself up and run. I kept my eye on him as I crawled backwards. He was coming closer to me with the cinder block in both hands.

“David please, I said I was sorry, please forgive me!”

“It isn’t fair. She didn’t deserve that. You deserve a hell of a lot worse!”

“Stop David, please, I said stop!”

I hit my head on a satellite dish when I realized I couldn’t move backwards anymore. David raised the cinder block above his head as he looked down on me.

“She didn’t deserve it!!”

“David!!”

My first instinct was to curl up into a ball. I still can’t believe he actually did it. Not David. He struck my shoulder with such force, it must have broke right in half then. And the pain, it was so much; it completely paralyzed me. I was screaming so loud, I don’t know how I kept going.

“Stop!”

But he didn’t. He hit me again, breaking another bone in the same arm. I had my head burrowed under my arms.

“Stop!”

He hit me again, breaking my forearm beneath my other arm.

“Stop!”

Despite my desperate screaming, he didn’t stop. He just kept hitting me. I could feel my flesh tearing, and the pain, getting worse after each blow until my upper right arm just became numb. I kept screaming stop over and over again. But he didn’t stop, why didn’t he stop?

It did stop after a while. The whole ordeal must have been less than a minute, but it couldn’t have ended soon enough. I very vaguely remember what happened afterwards. I just kept screaming stop. I learned some time afterwards that some men ran up to the roof to hold David back. It was all such a blur to me. All I remember was the pain. I was crying all the way to the hospital.

All I remember next was waking up in the hospital screaming. It took some time for me to calm my nerves. When I did though, I hoped. I hoped so badly that it was all a horrible nightmare, and that Marley was ok, and David didn’t hate me. But it was the fact that I was in a hospital that really ruined any fantasy. What really got to me however was how light my right arm was before I realized it was just a stub. I was completely overtaken at the sight, and tears started to fill my eyes again.

“Why.”

That was all I could think then, why. But of course, I guess I did know why. It was because I killed his sister. She really didn’t deserve her fate. But it was an accident. I didn’t mean to. He didn’t have to take it too far. But he did. Every day my heart is pained with guilt, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but delve in hatred for David Rose. Maybe I did deserve my fate also, but I hated him anyways. Nobody should experience that.

He was a saint I thought. He really was. Anyone would have liked him. And his little sister was such an angel; anyone would have loved her too. But still, after what he did to me, I don’t think I could ever see him the same way as I did before. I do often wonder where he is or what he’s doing. I would also dread ever seeing him again. I don’t know what I would do; I don’t know what he would do. I never did see him again however. But I will never forget him. Sometimes I wish I would, but I have my stub as a constant reminder of the nightmare that scarred me for life. Everyday images of the whole thing would sting my senses; everyday his name would cross my mind.

David Rose.

__________________

My Catch Phrases: ALIBIBIDAK! FISH'N'CHIPS! IT'SDAHBOOTIE! BOO! HIO CHANG!