gregorio

Is this what O'Henry did? This is my first post so I am diving in!

The Kiss. I could see it coming. She was hungrily stalking the object of her heart. Eyes alert and focused. The hair was lying back against her head, the shoulders arched up. Her back straightened slightly before the pause.
That pause allowed me to sense what would follow. That was the worst, knowing the chain of events that would slowly unfold with numbing predictability. These links of time will be shackled to my soul as long as I know her.

She uncoiled suddenly and it reminded me of a cat pouncing. She was not graceful as I would imagine but her sensuality was a visceral mace. I imagined its weight slam into my gut. I cringed.
A kiss is a beautiful thing. The delicate flesh around her mouth opened and a beckoning vortex allowed no escape. The rest of her body followed in an explosion of lust. As her momentum ebbed she drifted back to the floor; her catch locked in embrace. I caught myself trembling before her bohemian savagery.

She let go and stepped back to examine the effect she created. Her eyes probing for a reaction then widening in anticipation of another thrust. Twice more she released the fervor that leaped from her soul. Each time I fought to catch my breath. Then it was over. The unexpected intimacy was no comfort to me. This lovely spirit that shared my life was unaware of the darkness closing around my heart. The torch I carry for her will chase away the dark but the shadows will not retreat.

I dropped my head and stared into my beer, I wondered if my wife knew or cared that I watched her kiss another man.

Sen Yama

Ouch, that hurts. (Which is good) The descriptions do seem to be a bit over the top... Maybe focus a bit more on what they look like? Cut down on descriping her lust a bit more, it will flow better that way.

__________________
Writing is the dance of the fingers across keys.
Writing is the fluid motion of pen on paper.
Writing is the soul dancing before another's eyes.
Writing is something that must be loved to be done well.

gregorio

I agree with you Sen Yama about it being over the top! Thanks for the input. It will be fun working on it.