The difference between a secret and a lie - Writers Forum

saintoflight · 04-19-2008, 11:50 PM

When I want something, I get it.
Ian was a hottie. He had all the girls, including me, weak at the knees, but unlike them, I wasn’t telling anyone.
Everything was always a secret; I guess that’s why it was easy to say I’d keep his. The girls and I started drinking early so we were tipsy before we even went clubbing with the boys.
At the club, I tried to make Ian jealous by dancing with other men.
When we got back to his house, he offered me a rum and I accepted despite the fact I hate rum.
With my drunken courage, I walked over to Ian and bent kissing him.
That’s when he told me he had a girlfriend.
‘And you’re telling me now? And where is she tonight?’
I couldn’t believe I waisted my night going after him. I got up to go but he pulled me back, kissing me.
‘Goodnight Ian,’ he kissed me again, gripping my arms, holding me there.
‘I’m going to bed, goodnight,’ I said firmly, shaking him off me.
I wasn’t going to help him cheat on his girlfriend the way my Dad cheated on my Mum.
I went next door to my place and climbed into bed, too tired take off my jeans.
I was just getting into a deep sleep when I heard knocking as my door opened.
‘Were you sleeping?’
‘No.’
‘Liar’ he said shutting the door behind him.
‘What do you want?’
‘Can you keep a secret?’ Ian was on my bed now, on all fours, over the top of me. I wanted him now more than ever.
‘What’s the secret?’
‘This’ he said kissing me.
I don’t remember too much after that.
I don’t regret what happened, but it’s hard to keep my word when I have to see his girlfriend coming and going next door, knowing how much my Dad’s cheating hurt my Mum.
I guess I got more than I bargained for.

Homemaster · 04-20-2008, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saintoflight

When I want something, I get it.
Ian was a hottie. He had all the girls, including me, weak at the knees, but unlike them, I wasn’t telling anyone. use of commas
Everything was always a secret; I guess that’s why it was easy to say I’d keep his. The girls and I started drinking early so we were tipsy before we even went clubbing with the boys.
At the club, I tried to make Ian jealous by dancing with other men.
When we got back to his house, he offered me a rum and I accepted despite the fact I hate rum.
With my drunken courage, I walked over to Ian and bent kissing him.
That’s when he told me he had a girlfriend.
‘And you’re telling me now? And where is she tonight?’
I couldn’t believe I waisted my night going after him. I got up to go but he pulled me back, kissing me.
‘Goodnight Ian.’
He kissed me again, gripping my arms, holding me there.
‘I’m going to bed, goodnight,’ I said firmly, shaking him off me.
I wasn’t going to help him cheat on his girlfriend the way my Dad cheated on my Mum.
I went next door to my place and climbed into bed, too tired take off my jeans.
I was just getting into a deep sleep when I heard knocking as my door opened.
‘Were you sleeping?’
‘No.’
‘Liar’ he said shutting the door behind him.
‘What do you want?’
‘Can you keep a secret?’ Ian was on my bed now, on all fours, over the top of me. I wanted him now more than ever.
‘What’s the secret?’
‘This’ he said kissing me.
I don’t remember too much after that. Why? confusing
I don’t regret what happened, but it’s hard to keep my word when I have to see his girlfriend coming and going next door, knowing how much my Dad’s cheating hurt my Mum.
I guess I got more than I bargained for.

For its length it was alright, bit jumpy. Like I said for its length I quite enjoyed it.

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