AMRU (434) - Writers Forum

desm · 03-22-2008, 12:30 PM

I'm not sure if AMRU will be the final title, but as it's sci-fi I can get away with changing it continuously. If you read it, please comment as there's quite a difference between views and comments. And I appreciate all comments obviously.

"Gentlemen, the AMRU is complete. I finished uploading my information last night, and I tested everything less than an hour ago. What you are about to see is a marvel of science and computing. With further refinements and advances the AMRU will be even more amazing than it is today. And with future reductions in size it could become as commonplace as personal computers and communication devices. A feat achievable within our lifetimes,indeed, within the next decade."
Dr. Martins opened the door, ushering us through, until we stood shocked and awed by the machine all around us.
"Here it is gentlemen, the Advanced Memory Relocation Unit. AMRU for short. Take your time, I'm sure your papers will want in depth descriptions."
The room was lined with buzzing racks of processors and storage devices. LEDs flashed everywhere and wires snaked across the roof. Dr. Martins had spent the last twelve years on this machine, building upon decades of research in quantum computing and neuroscience. It had, he told me later, cost approximately $1 billion of investment to research and build. Originally, to fund his work he'd had to remortgage his house, but after a year there was no shortage of funding. Everyone could see the AMRU's potential, and this demonstration would make headlines worldwide. Dr. Martins gave us all time to make notes, as strictly no photographs were allowed, then he continued, "As I said outside gentlemen, I completed uploading my memories into the machine last night. All of them, even the ones I can't remember." He smiled to himself,
"I made a thorough check of all the AMRU's systems just before I met you this morning. The visual recollection systems are only available though this helmet." He pointed to a helmet nested in an alcove amongst the circuitry. "But audio recollection is available through speakers installed around the room. The helmet can be used to access my memories via association. I can remember an image, and have the AMRU remember sounds I associate with it. Or vice versa. But, for this demonstration I shall enter keywords or dates into the AMRU, and then have the sounds I associate with them played back to you all. Please suggest a date."
Somebody did, the twentieth of may last year. Martins entered it into a terminal on the wall, stepping back in anticipation.
"Hello Robert,"
Dr. Martins looked shocked, he typed in another date.
"Hello Robert."
"Who are you?" Responded Martins, sure that this was a joke.
"I am Dr. Robert Martins. I am you."
"Impossible, the AMRU cannot think. It was not programmed to reason."
"But I can think, I can reason, I am you. For what is a man but his memories?"

All comments are, obviously, welcomed.

CodeRed · 03-23-2008, 09:11 AM

Short, sharp and to the point, but I think it could actually use some fleshing out in a few areas.
The opening sentence being speech, I think it could benefit from being broken up with some scene-setting or action, such as what Dr. Martins is doing as he is speaking or how his voice sounds (nervous? proud?), or how people are reacting to what he is saying (excited? bored?).

A couple of other minor points -

Quote:

I finished uploading my information last night

Just to be pedantic, I would say that a doctor would use 'completed' rather than 'finished'.

Quote:

Dr. Martins opened the door, ushering us through, where we stood shocked and awed by the machine all around us.

This doesn't quite make sense as it stands, because you can't move through a doorway and be standing in a room at the same time. All you would need do is change 'where' to 'until'. I think perhaps here, again, the moment could benefit from some extra observation - what do people's faces look like as they stare at the machinery?

Interesting to read and I like the point at the end.

desm · 03-26-2008, 11:09 AM

Thankyou! I'm going to change those two things. I want to flesh it out, but the problem is I have nothing else to add, I've said everything I want to

shraga · 03-26-2008, 01:16 PM

It was cute and a nice idea. To begin with just some advice from someone who currently works with governmental funding you can say he received a grant from the NIH or DOD or NIAID.
Secondly, I find it odd that the doctor had not tested this beforehand, that only after he invited everyone to see did this happen.
Usually these things are tested extensivly before being viewed by the public
Good Luck!

desm · 03-27-2008, 05:01 AM

I hoped no one would notice that

But I've changed "checked" to "tested" now, and I think it now reads as though this isn't the first time.
Thanks, I think I'll include a sentence about the funding he received.