The City that Reflected the Sky - Writers Forum

ChrisBaird · 03-18-2008, 04:25 AM

The City the Reflected the Sky

By Chris Baird

The clouds gently part, revealing a bright summer's day, overlooking a grand city, cars and people bustling about, and buildings as tall and as far as the eye can see. Each building has windows from top to bottom, with hardly space between.

A city that reflects the sky.

A lone balding man steps from his car, looks toward a nearby building, as sees the brillaint sun starring back at him, as usual.

With a grin, he pulled his briefcase to chest level, and trotted off toward a pair of revolving doors, when, from out of the corner of his eye, he spots something that is strange to his eyes, a long red streak flowing straight down the side of one of the taller buildings. His eyes follow it first down, to a blank sidewalk, and then up..... to the very top of the singular building.

Even though it was day, it coudln't tell what was there, it was far too dark, but, suddenly, a black object fluttered again, out of the corner of his eyes.

He turned, and saw the reflection of this red streak. It led to a figure,
standing upon the edge of the building, a extreamly long cloak fluttering around him, and a streak of blood flowing from the left side of it's body......

Though the wind was twisting and turning the cloak about the figure, it seemed uneffected by this same wind. And for a split second, between the ragged black folds of the enormous cloak, was the figures face.

It was wearing a mask of wood, a perfect circle, with two cresent moon shapes for eyes, a straight line for a mouth, and at then end, a tounge jutting out in a comical way... it gave the impression of quiet estactic happiness.

The figure was looking directly at the man and his briefcase. Which he dropped, and backed toward the wall behind him, it too, was a mirror.
The figure starred past the man's eyes, or it felt as if it did, and the man heard words inside his mind. Four short words.

"Is it worth it?"

The man's fingers grazed the glass of the mirror behind him, it was smooth, but at the same time, jagged, in a fierce and unforgiving way.

The figure stepped off the ledge, and fell like a rock, there was no grace, no posture. The cloak billowed out behind him, along with the streak of blood, and a second later the figure hit the ground, feet first, in a crouching stance. The ground quaked, and at the same moment, it began to rain red. the streak of blood from the figure's left side now hit the earth.

The mirror cracked, the man's fingertips sank inward, toward whatever had been placed behind that choice wall.

He lost his balance, and followed his hands backward, falling into the infinte mystery behind him, the only certain thing was was the jagged and relfective teeth that now surrounded him as he fell.

Soon the mirror's hunger would be satisfied.

The figure vanished.

ChrisBaird · 03-18-2008, 04:28 AM

This is my dark image of a super-hero-type character. not too much detail is given, and i kinda like it that way, short and sweet.

*braces for impact* it's- it's good...right? XD

I don't normally write dark stories, just every once in awhile, to through in something differnt, although this is the first story im posting on the forums, so i hope to learn how to better them. thanks in advance!

Forgotten Abyss · 03-18-2008, 03:21 PM

It was good, and held my interest.

I saw nothing wrong grammer wise. But I was never an expert lol.

Keep up the good work.

ChrisBaird · 03-18-2008, 07:14 PM

wow! thanks abyss! it was actuly good? hmm.... i never really decided if i wanted to turn this into a larger story or not. like if i tried to explain the character's back-story, or wrote more about what the uh.. cloaked person.. does. what do you think? it may make a good first chapter... i have no idea.

Forgotten Abyss · 03-18-2008, 07:17 PM

For a chapter it's a little on the short side if you ask me, but it is possible to work with it.

But an expansion on the story would help explain somethings in context.

ChrisBaird · 03-19-2008, 03:40 PM

Yeah, there's quite a few things left out in the open, like who the character is, and why they're bleeding.

But orignaly i made it to be more about the windows/mirrors then anything else.

when i wrote this i was just bored / depressed and decided to put it on into a text, and then i modified it into a nice little short story. i think it came out well.