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The Lover
Jason had no money and no job. He did, however, have a girlfriend. Well, technically, she was an apple. He hated her, though, what could he do? In the end, he was just another bum defecating in just another trash can.
That afternoon Jason ate his girlfriend with a side of discarded nappy, and whilst it wasn’t the best meal he’d ever had, it was pretty fucking good.
“And that’s that” he stated, chasing a paper bag, “Time to find me a new lover.”
Though Jason had only just ‘broken-up’ with his girlfriend, he’d had his eye out for quite some time. Two weeks prior he’d spotted a rare beauty just across the way. She’d spat at him in disgust. This didn’t bother Jason. The way he saw it, any attention was good attention.
Humans are too difficult, he decided. Perhaps he should get himself a nice possum. He’d heard they make great pets. A girlfriend is basically a hyper-evolved, hyper-sensitive pet. A possum could make noise, they could interact! His ex-girlfriend used to just sit there, silently. Fuck her!
So, that said, Jason set out with a goal in mind: To find a cute possum.
Later that day he found his answer. She was standing in the middle of the road. He ran closer. She was lying in the middle of the road.
She was the most beautiful possum he’d ever laid eyes on. He picked her up and stuffed her into his jacket. “Don’t worry babe” He whispered, “I’ve got ya”
He coaxed her gently as they walked back to his den. “So, what’s a cute gal like yourself doing in a neighborhood like this?” He asked.
She didn’t reply.
“So, babe, should we eat out tonight? I’m thinking in” He whispered sweetly.
Again, she didn’t reply.
“You’re a super-sweet thang” He stated.
That night, he ate her with a side of denim.
Last edited by Dr. Apopolus : 02-08-2008 at 06:24 AM.
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