Dr. Apopolus

Jason had no money and no job. He did, however, have a girlfriend. Well, technically, she was an apple. He hated her, though, what could he do? In the end, he was just another bum defecating in just another trash can.

That afternoon Jason ate his girlfriend with a side of discarded nappy, and whilst it wasn’t the best meal he’d ever had, it was pretty fucking good.

“And that’s that” he stated, chasing a paper bag, “Time to find me a new lover.”

Though Jason had only just ‘broken-up’ with his girlfriend, he’d had his eye out for quite some time. Two weeks prior he’d spotted a rare beauty just across the way. She’d spat at him in disgust. This didn’t bother Jason. The way he saw it, any attention was good attention.

Humans are too difficult, he decided. Perhaps he should get himself a nice possum. He’d heard they make great pets. A girlfriend is basically a hyper-evolved, hyper-sensitive pet. A possum could make noise, they could interact! His ex-girlfriend used to just sit there, silently. Fuck her!

So, that said, Jason set out with a goal in mind: To find a cute possum.

Later that day he found his answer. She was standing in the middle of the road. He ran closer. She was lying in the middle of the road.

She was the most beautiful possum he’d ever laid eyes on. He picked her up and stuffed her into his jacket. “Don’t worry babe” He whispered, “I’ve got ya”

He coaxed her gently as they walked back to his den. “So, what’s a cute gal like yourself doing in a neighborhood like this?” He asked.

She didn’t reply.

“So, babe, should we eat out tonight? I’m thinking in” He whispered sweetly.

Again, she didn’t reply.

“You’re a super-sweet thang” He stated.

That night, he ate her with a side of denim.

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Happenstance

quodsumeris

this is very fresh. my only suggestion is to nix the word "whilst," as it doesn't fit with the rest of the stories tone.

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A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. -Wilde

Katastrof

Haha! Nice story. ( I was acutally going to use this post to say how it's illogical to pick up a live possum and have it do nothing. Then I realized it was dead.)

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Read:

When The Man Comes Around

"Carpe Diem, quam minimum credula postero"
(Seize the day put no trust in tomorrow.) ~ Horace

ArlenOrobono

I like it .
It would be interesting to see if that could go anywhere .

Jude

Great work!

Loved it - Would be great to see more.

Raging_Hopeful

Use "but" to smooth out this sentence.

This story made me laugh. It's very good and entertaining

Cheers,
Linz

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SoNickSays...

Truly a step inside a socially crazy man's mind... they all dream of dead possums and apples, you see...

Boy, would I love to meet that guy!

Love the story. Your style is good, and although you don't explain much of the main character (except for his name and the fact he was a tramp) I felt like I knew him (I was almost about to type "I felt like I could relate to him". That would have been a big mistake...).

Nice work

Hope to reading some more of your work!


Nick

Damian_Rucci

Lol, that was a good story. You are very talented at writing, I enjoyed that.

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Check out my blog: D.F. Rucci's Writing
"Comparison"