The troop were inserted to Afghanistan late in the night of a new moon for the perfect cover of darkness. The team landed safely in the mountains adjacent to the Al Qaeda camp.
“I’ll take point.” Murphy asserted. “Smith, Archer you are rearguard.”
“You always take point sir.” Smith complained.
“Stop your whinging, switch on your night vision and let’s do some ruddy reconnaissance and retain radio silence.”
The team switched on their night vision goggles as they moved through the mountains. The team beat a path towards the edge of the mountains where they could make a quick descent.
“I see nothing but trees,” Archer whined.
Rudd and Murphy were getting to the ground to do some surveillance without attracting attention.
“Will you two get down and keep silent,” Rudd instructed.
Smith and Archer looked at each other but did as they were told.
“Not bad Rookie,” said the Major looking through the scope. “Two guards on each checkpoint around the Perimeter. Only a couple of loafers on the mountain side. They can’t be expecting anyone come that way. The Mountain’s protection enough.”
“More fool them,” claimed Smith.
“Agreed,” replied Archer.
“Settle in. We got a bit of watching before action tonight.” A growl emanated from somewhere deep in the Majo'r throat.
“Now you know why we call him Mad Dog,” declared Smith.
Archer and Smith would have doubled over laughing if they weren’t snaked to the ground.
“Are you pair trying to get us killed?” Barry Rudd asserted.
Behind the team a twig snapped, the bushes rustled. Someone was coming. Each member of the team cocked their M4 Carbine. Murphy and Rudd set theirs to a three round burst as they kept their gaze on the camp below.
Another twig snapped.
“Al Qaeda?” Captain Archer muttered.
“Unlikely.” Rudd replied.
Another bush rustled.
“Whoever it is, is making enough noise to give our position away.”
Two men as big as Mad Dog come striding through the scrub. “We’re bound to run into the ‘ah-sees’ sooner or later Major.”
The men were just beginning to become visible to the Australians, just beyond the treeline.
“Friggin yanks!” Mad dog’s voice rubbed together like sandpaper. “Archer, deal with it.”
Captain Toni Archer grunted. She did as she was told.
The men became visible carrying M4A1s. Archer moved to greet them.
“I’m Captain Archer of the Australian Brigade. If you wouldn’t mind getting down and keeping silent we’re trying to do a little reconnaissance here.”
“No need to little lady, this area’s clear and the Jihadists below can’t hear a damn thing from up here. Me and the Lieutenant have been up here for days.” The ranking officer replied.
Together they all moved back to the Australians.
“Seppos, get down,” Mad Dog growled at the Americans.
“Testy little fellow aren’t you. You’re lady friend here tells me you’re doing some reconnaissance. There’s no need. They change the guards every hour on the hour and you’re in luck they’re about to change. Your boy Dick and our boy Jack are in the central tent.”
Rudd and Mad Dog grunt. They exchange surprised looks.
“Oh I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself I’m Major Clint Grimes and this is Lieutenant Hank Kucinich.
“You mean Dickson,” Archer stated feeling befouled by these roughshod Americans. She was just as disillusioned as Murphy now.
“Yeah whatever,” replied the American Lieutenant knowing full well she was referring to the Australian terrorist.
“This is my squad Rudd, Smith, Archer and I am Major Murphy. If what you say is true we better make our move now.”
“Fair enough. Let’s go get our boys.” The Bullish Major Grimes claimed cocking his M4A1. His Lieutenant did likewise.
“Archer. Smith. You handle those layabouts at the bottom quiet like. Us officer types will go get the kids. Rudd you’re with me.”
“No you don’t say. A couple flash bangs in the central tent and then we go in.” Rudd replied moderating his sarcasm.
“I like this ‘ah-see’, he’s got a good head on his shoulders,” said Major Grimes.
“Let's hope he can keep it.” Mad Dog replied.
All six men made their way down the mountain with their vision enhanced by their night goggles.
Archer and Smith quietly unfurled some wire and went in separate directions. Smith got in quickly behind his man and garrotted the enemy. Not even a sound escaped the Afghan terrorist. Archer was not nearly as lucky. Her man turned and saw her. It was fortunate he had to reach for his weapon as Archer moved quickly and garrotted the fanatic from the wrong side round.
Smith broke radio silence. “Confirm Kill.”
It was followed a little later by Archer.
The four men approached the central tent with none of the living aware of their presence.
Major Grimes held up two fingers and pointed to the front of the tent indicating two guards.
Mad Dog nodded. He indicated in reply that the Americans circle round the front and take care of them whilst Rudd and he slip in from the back of the tent. Each group of two went in their separate directions.
Murphy slit the tent open from behind with his bayonet. They both switched off their night vision and took a moment to adjust to the darkness. Barry threw in the two flash bangs; one went off after the other.
At about the same moment an explosion rocked outside the tent.
The Americans and Australians entered the tents from opposite sides. It was a large tent with a large body of men lying disoriented on their cots from the shock of the explosions and piercing noise.
“What the hell was that?” An angry Mad Dog asked.
“Grenades,” was the quick reply from Lieutenant Kucinich.
“Johnny ruddy Rambo! That’s all we need a couple of John ruddy Rambos!”
“Let’s just get our boys and get out of here,” said Major Grimes having already hoisted Jihad Jack over his shoulder.
Rudd was standing over Dickson. “This our fella?” He asked.
“Yes Ramjet. Get him out of here before the rest of these lads come to.”
The camp outside had stirred and was going full bustle. Their eyes sooner or later fell on the central tent.
The men inside could hear a fire fight going on outside Mountainside.
“Ah Heck” exclaimed the American Major.
“Yee ha!” screamed the American Lieutenant exiting the tent the way he came. His M4A1 firing full automatic.
“No that’s your job Major,” Rudd replied to Murphy. “I've got to watch his back if he’s not all ready dead. You know what I can do.”
“Go Ramjet. It’s a big enough distraction we might even get back to the cliff top alive.”
“From there’s it’s a five click hike East and we’ll have a Helo evac us out to Camp Rhino.” The American Major asserted.
Rudd left the tent in pursuit of the American Lieutenant as he heard his radio crackle.
“Archer has been hi-” the message cut out and static blared over the two way. There was nothing Rudd could do. Smith was gone.
He could see Lt. Kucinich drawing fire from Al Qaeda. He was on the move and dodging bullets and returning fire from whatever barricade he could hide behind. Kucinich’s clip ran out when he was in the open. Now it was Rudd’s turn.
He aimed his M4 at three places along the Al Qaeda fanatics that were beginning to surround Kucinich and fired. Ten men went down. The zealous Islamists disregarded their dead and wounded and returned fire.
Barry was scared but he had handled a few bullets before whilst juiced up. Rather than run he moved in Kucinich’s direction.
“What the hell are you doing?” Kucinich screamed. “Run fool.”
“You. Run!” Rudd screamed back. He aimed his M4 at the terrorists and shot off more three round bursts. More often than not getting two kills for one shot. For every three rounds he was getting around four kills. The enemy’s return fire was mostly grazing him as they were shaken by this invulnerable monstrosity that crept towards them.
Before Rudd knew it they were all dead. There were more men in the camp readying to amount an attack. They were aware of the situation and preparing their rocket launchers to finish the job.
Rudd reached for his radio. “Archer, you OK?”
“I’m fine. I’m with the Majors. It’s just a graze, it looks worse than it is.”
“Roger that. I’m going to get Smith.”
The terrorists were taking aim with their launchers ready to finish the job. They fired killing at least a dozen of their own men and setting several tents on fire. Rudd sprinted to Smith’s last known location to find him dead in a pool of blood. Rudd lifted him off the ground with his enhanced strength, sprinted to the mountain base and leaped to the cliff top in a few bounds.
“What the hell was that?” Major Grimes asked as Rudd passed the five men.
“Roger Ramjet.” Murphy replied.
“Huh?”
“It was Rudd.”
“That’s not possible.”
“Aint it just?” Rudd said appearing in front of them. “C’mon Archer, you’re next.”
Rudd scooped the Captain up and bounded away.
The American just stood staring. The Al Qaeda camp was now in a state of confusion as they had blown up some of their own men with rocket launchers allowing the American and Australian allies to escape.
Kucinich saw the disoriented American and Australian terrorists shaking the cobwebs off from their ordeal so hit them each respectively across their heads with his M4A1.
“You guys coming or what?” Rudd shouted down from the mountain.
“A little hand here?” Murphy heaved Dickson on his shoulders.
Rudd again propelled himself down the mountain without ropes. “Majors I’ll take both them off your hands and you lot can make your own way up.”
“Aw C’mon,” Major Murphy exclaimed as both Majors discharged their burdens and Rudd raced away again.
The three officers began to climb the mountain but had not gotten very far up the cliff when Rudd returned. “Our men are bound and gagged. Easy shipment. Archer is watching them whilst she makes a stretcher for Smith. Now Mad Dog I’d appreciate you not taking my name in vein. Maybe then I might give you a lift.”
“What did I say?” The astounded Major asked. “Ramjet?”
“John ‘ruddy’ Rambo ring any bloody bells?” Rudd replied giving the American a hard look.
It was a look Murphy turned on Major Grimes as well. “They are Johnny ruttin’ Rambos. That better?”
It was a gaze Grimes returned just as levelly.
Rudd grabbed Murphy’s wrist and dragged him up the heights.
“Argh! My ruttin’ wrist. You trying to break my arm Ramjet?” Murphy screamed at the top of the cliff.
“You boys can work ya own way up. We’ve got time.” Rudd shouted down to the Americans.
The Americans did finally work their way up. A stretcher for Smith was complete and the bounded prisoners could hobble their way along the hike.
The group Americans and Australians alike were relocated to Camp Rhino from the rendezvous point.
“This is where we go our separate way boys.” Major Grimes stated offering his hand after they disembarked the chopper.
Rudd was quick to take it giving it a hard enough squeeze that you could hear Grimes fingers crack.
The Major tolerated the pain. “This isn’t our first time on the job you know.”
“No it isn’t.” Mad Dog gave the American Major’s a strong squeeze as well only to see Grimes eyes narrow. “No it isn’t.”
The rest of the team exchanged handshakes.
“I’m sorry about Smith.” Lieutenant Kucinich offered his condolences.
“We all are,” replied Archer.
The Americans at Camp Rhino brought out two more stretchers for the prisoners, stripped them from their clothes at gun point and duct taped them to the stretchers. Tears of embarrassment, shame or guilt rolled from both terrorists. The Americans and Australians alike were unconcerned.
“Dickson won’t be able to take the piss# now.” Mad Dog doubled over laughing at the Australian terrorist.
“We’ll give him the Pacific* solution.” Archer agreed.
“We’ll send him to you in a shipping container. Nauru aint it?” Major Grimes suggested fervently.
All the Allies, American and Australian were bowled over with hilarity and were unable to stop laughing for some time.
*******
“Welcome home, Gentleman,” The General boomed as they returned to the Cape.
“Ahem!” The firebrand feminist Captain Archer gruffly cleared her throat. The General roared a laugh.
“Captain,” he nodded. “Barry I have already heard many tales of your bravery in your field. We’re not one for grave formalities around here. You’ve been promoted from Lieutenant to Captain.”
Captain Archer leant forward and gave Rudd a kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations Captain.”
“Well done Ramjet.” Murphy slapped him on the shoulder. “Guess that makes you Captain ruttin’ Australia now.”
The entire team laughed.
THE END
*
Pacific Solution
#Take the piss / taking the piss is an Australianism that means to give one a bit of a stir, make fun of ya mates and other harsher variants.
