johnjohndoe

I died last night in a fire.

It started around 11:15pm in the living room of my modest home in a quiet San Francisco suburb. I was depressed and had been drinking. As a matter of fact, I had just finished a nice bottle of Syrah, and had washed that down with a pint of Heineken. I was lying on the sofa smoking a cigarette and listening to Paul Simon's album, "Suprise." I was thinking about posting a video of myself on YouTube, giving a rather drunken reading of a poem I’d written called, “Clouds, Windows and Time.” That’s when I passed out.

After a moment or two, the cigarette fell from my fingers and landed on a newspaper next to the sofa (ironically, I’d been reading the obituaries). It started to smolder – and it wasn’t long before it started to burn. Then my beautiful deep shag carpet caught fire and so did the drapes. In just a few minutes a roaring, smoky fire engulfed the room. I never woke up and died fairly quickly of carbon monoxide poisoning from smoke inhalation.

The fellow next door called the Fire Department. He had just mounted his wife when they noticed an eerie orange glow coming though their bedroom window. She told him to stop and see what the matter was. It took the Fire Department nine and half minutes to arrive; by then the fire was burning though the roof. It took about twenty minutes to extinguish the blaze. When they finally entered the house they found my charred remains and called the coroner. Then they transported me to the morgue at San Francisco General Hospital.

It’s really not so bad, you know, being dead. I suppose the best way to describe it is “blissful unawareness.” It’s rather like that period of eternity before we were born - do you remember? This probably doesn’t make any sense to you, does it? Well, don’t worry - it will all make sense, by and by.

As for my neighbors; apparently they were more than a little turned-on by all the excitement last night. After the smoke cleared, they returned to their bedroom and resumed their love making with even greater passion. I truly wish them well. My only regret is I never knew their names.

Garden of Kadesh

Nice job. Its concise and has a good voice.

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"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."

- Catch 22

Bryuko

I don't have any critiques to help you regarding your writing (which is superb) --but if I may, there seems to be a conceptual paradox (see below).

The only way we can know this is through the narrator's analysis which contradicts the 'blissful unawareness' part. I'm sorry. Just splitting hairs.

johnjohndoe

thanks garden of kadesh & bryuko for your positive comments. this story was fun...it basiclly wrote itself.

thanks agagin.

j.jd.

Cefor

Koolio (Like my word? I made it up a second ago hehe)
I think that it is a good short story, the ending was quite thoughtful if you get my drift.... yeah?

Well anyways there is a moral to this story...
Get To Know Yer Neighbours..... Even If They Let Their Dog Poo In Your Yard (hahah thought that was funny)

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Knowledge is Power

Veni, Vedi, Vici - Julius Caesar

Who Dares Wins

Rahvin

I like it. One thing:
It just strikes me that it's obvious that they wouldn't remember before they were born. Unless, of course, that's what you were aiming for, in which case just ignore me.

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