Siglark

“I just don’t get it,” the younger man says. “How could they possibly believe that drivel?”
The older man looks up from the cross he’s trying to straighten behind the cheap folding table with a banner displaying “Come Hear the Word” across the front. “I don’t know.”
“I don’t know. I just don’t know”
The older man sits down in the empty chair behind the table and picks up his bible. The younger man drums his thumbs on the table at a fevered clip. The older man yawns.
“What do you have for lunch,” the younger man asks.
“A salad.”
“That’s it?”
“Yep.”
“Oh.”
The younger man resumes drumming his thumbs on the table.
The older man asks, “What’s the message of the day?”
“Same as it is every day. Word of God.”
“No. The guys next to us.”
Behind the table to their left, in front of a diagram of the connections of the multiverse, a couple wearing tie-dye steal a quick kiss.
“Not sure. Something evil, I’m sure.”
“But what’s their message?”
“Not sure.”
“Well, can’t you hear.”
“I’m sure I could. Don’t want to.”
The older man sighs and looks to his right. The bald Indians wearing sheets are mixing incense. “Would you mind not doing that today?” the older man asks.
“No.” one of them replies.
“It stings my throat. I think I might be allergic to it. Besides, the kids complain.”
“Hare Krishna,” he says.
The older man sighs. He knows that the smell of the incense will make is salad taste even more flavorless.
The younger man whispers, “Jeez I’m bored.”
The older man does not look at him. Classes will end soon, flooding the hallway with students. He runs over his pitch in his head.
The younger man says, “The Rockies are playing tonight.”
The older man closes his eyes.
“They have a chance to make it to the World Series.”
“They’ll only let you down.”
“Yeah, but this year I prayed for them.”
“Oh.”
The men in sheets start hare-krishna-ing, breaking the older man’s concentration.
“I’m bored too.”
“I’m not bored anymore.”
“Why?”
“I’m thinking about what might happen if the Rockies win.”
“Oh.”
“Why are your bored?”
“I’m not thinking about anything anymore.”
“Why weren’t you bored a little while ago.”
“I was thinking about something.”
“What were you thinking about?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Well, try to remember. That’ll kill some time.”
“Okay.”
The older man looks beyond the younger man over at the tie-dye couple.
“What are they saying now?”
“Who?”
“The Lustrainians.”
“Who?”
“Those guys.” He points.
“They’re talking about how much they love each other. I bet they’re not even married.”
“Why do you always say things like that?”
“Because I want to.”
“That’s not why.”
“Why do I say things like that, then?”
“I don’t know.”
“How do you know I don’t say it just because I want to?”
“Because you don’t. You’re judging them so you can feel better about yourself.”
“So you do know.”
“So I’m right.”
“No.”
“Oh.”
The older man stands up to check the cross again. He looks at all the students walking towards the building through the expansive windows. “Get ready.”
“Why are your shoes so scuffed up?”
The tie-dye couple sees them coming to, and they hum together in different harmonies, but without a tune.
“Because they are.”
“But why?”
“I was in a hurry this morning.”
“Why were you in a hurry?”
“No reason.”
“That’s not true. There’s a reason.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I don’t. I was just trying to annoy you like you annoy me.”
“Oh.”
“Why were you in a hurry?”
“I was avoiding my wife.”
“Why?”
“I don’t love her.”
“Oh.”
The first of the students walk through the doors at the end of the hallway, heading towards the restaurants at the other end.
“I’ve got to tell you something, Jim,” the older man says.
“Wait.”
“It’s important.”
“Wait.”
“It’s very important.”
“Wait.”
As the students pass, the people at the tables call out their brand of salvation. “Have you heard the word the word the word,” the younger man calls. “Hare Hare Krishna Krishna” the men to his right sing. “Learn to lope around the sky,” the tie-dye couple say in harmony.
When the last of the students are gone (no one stopped at any tables) the younger man turns to the older man. “What did you want to say.”
“Nothing. Never mind.”
“I really want to know.”
“Forget about it. You won’t be able to hear me anyway.”

Cefor

Interesting.... love to know what the hell they were actually doing? Were they perhaps trying to preach in a school? Contending with some... er incense burners? Hehehe

Well as it is practically all speech I am tempted to say it is more a play. Try to add more descriptions. And maybe fill us in on what they are doing there and add why they don't like each other well, on the assumption that they don't because they like to annoy each other.

That last bit was interesting, I sense something deeper there, with the
"..You won't be able to hear me anyway"
either that or there is meant to be a lot of noise and you haven't told us about it.

So maybe act on the few things I've said and it will be more of a story, as opposed to a play

Cefor

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Knowledge is Power

Veni, Vedi, Vici - Julius Caesar

Who Dares Wins

Siglark

The noise isn't what would have stopped the younger man from hearing the older man; it's something else. It has to do with what the man wanted to say, and I think there's enough clues for what he wanted to say to be clear.
I was going for a more Hemingway style of not using much description, and relying on the reader to infer more.
I should probably set the scene better for a wider audience. This is for a college class, and at my college in the central gathering area lots of tables are set up with people trying to convert you, so I assume that my narrow audience would know where it was set.

Cefor

Yeah, I thought that it wasn't noise that would have stopped him... though I'm not sure exactly what you are trying to get at.

Ok, I understand, though I have no idea who Hemingway is.... probably some famous guy that wrote a book.. heh

Cefor

__________________
Knowledge is Power

Veni, Vedi, Vici - Julius Caesar

Who Dares Wins