NedRyerson

I’ll never forget my first day on the job.

Jack and I were out riding listening to the police scanner, waiting for something good. He was behind the wheel with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Part of his life insurance policy, he explained, three packs a day. His car was some new BMW, real slick, real nice. He told me the safety rating was shit. Always thinking about the family, that was Jack for you.

I remember he was explaining the tricks of the trade to me.

“You’ve gotta be willing to get right in there kid, get right in there and go for it. You’re going to see some horrible things. Things even we can’t make money off of. Things no audience will watch. But mostly, it’s all game. Now people are gonna be crying, grieving, but you’ve got to get that story and get it fast. We don’t usually have much time before they think better of it. And the cops are getting pretty annoyed with us, makes them look bad when we show up before they do.”

I didn’t know it then, but I later learned that Jack was the best in the business. Hell, he invented the business. A fortune, all based on the words, “Based on a True Story”. He was a tall man, a skinny man. His face was weathered and tired. But his eyes, I’ve never seen eyes like his. His eyes shined from that beaten face with an unnatural light. I think now that they saw opportunity in whatever they looked at. It was an amazing gift – seeing the possibilities in the tragic.

What Jack taught me is that cancer is never good enough anymore.

But cancer and rape, now that’ll make the New York Times best sellers.

According to Jack, in the 80s and early 90s you could make money with diseases. Nowadays, though, it’s just been done. Nothing is more boring to the modern man than a good case of cancer. He said that you have got to think bigger, better, bloodier. There’s a reason he’s the best.

Cancer with murder and rape, now that’ll win you the Academy.

So on my first day Jack was going into all the details and protocols when we got our first hit. The police scanner blurted into life, announcing a call about seven blocks away. Some kid had come home to find both his parents dead.

“Oh man, I think you’re good luck, kid. We’ll see just how much in a minute – if the boy did it, we golden ,” Jack said. I could tell he was excited, but all I could feel was dread. What can I say, I was a rookie. I’d never seen a dead body before. And I still didn’t really understand how this all worked.

“You sure this isn’t illegal?” I asked again.

“I promise, there’s nothing illegal about it. We’re just gonna go and talk to some people, hopefully before the cops get there… nothing illegal about talking, is there?”

“Hope not.”

A lot of people give people like us a lot of shit for what we do.

A few years back this woman, whose sister had made Jack three million, broke into his house and smashed up the place. Killed his dog. Fast forward two years, and Jack’s got her story in theaters, and they make five million each.

When we pulled up to the house, there weren’t any cops there. We saw this kid sitting on the front steps, with blood on his hands and tears coming down his face. No matter how many stories I’ve covered that kid always stays with me. Jack and I got out of the car and approached, Jack taking long confident strides and me following behind.

“Hey kid, you alright? I’m Jack Walter, and everything is going to be ok. What happened here?”

There's a good chance you've seen the movie or read the book, but just in case you haven’t, the kid killed his parents and the neighbor’s daughter. In the movie they added a bunch of animal murders, but that wasn’t really true. The writers like to have their fun, though. But I thought the book was pretty damn good. And it’s not like we didn’t look out for the kid – he got writing credits, though I’m not sure he wrote a sentence. Part of the deal.

That’s what people don’t understand about us – we’re not out to rip people off. If everyone’s got a story we give them the opportunity to tell it. If we tend to go after the murderers, the rapists, and all that, well, we sell what sells. Don’t shoot the messenger.

Though I’ve never seen proof, Jack always told me that he invented “Based on a True Story”. He saw the potential long before anyone else. So he started up the business, getting the stories before anyone else could. He’d say the biggest mistake you can make in this business is to think that the story actually has to be based on the “true story”. As long as you’ve got someone involved in the project that was part of something close, you’re golden.

If you can get the victim to write the story, all the better. If you can get the murderer to write it, you can retire.

Most of our stuff went straight to TV, Lifetime mostly. But every now and then we’d stumble across the next blockbuster, right in the real world.

Jack believed in what we did one hundred percent. He always said that the best life insurance policy was a book and movie deal. Just in case he died unnaturally, he had all sorts of deals lined up. Suggested plot twists, compelling climaxes to this life. Of course, his job would have to be changed – the audience couldn’t sympathize with a character in our profession. He even had suggested actors for him and his kids.

I think no one has ever been more excited to get leukemia. I remember how happy he was when he found out.

“Well, it’s not AIDS, but it’ll do. It’s a good starting point for the movie. Kid, take some pictures of how I look right now, this hospital, all of it. We could start right here, where I find out that there’s no chance of survival.” His eyes were gleaming.

The doctor had tried to tell him that it was curable, but Jack said that could be written out of the final cut.

I’m telling you this because I want you to understand why he did what he did. You have to understand that for a guy like Jack, going out with just that was just the worst. He had spent his whole life making other’s tragedies into best-sellers, and now his own story was going to end without a bang. Jack had much higher aspirations than leukemia.

On that first day, he told me “Cancer, murder, and rape, now with that you just can’t go wrong.”

Before the incident, he had written out a detailed plan of how the proceeds would be divided. Most of it would go to the kid’s families and that poor girl. The rest was going to me. In the movie Jack would have kids, but in the real world, I was all he had at the end.

If you want to know the rest of the story, just wait two more months until “The Death Rape-Bus” comes to a theater near you.

Jack would be so proud.

snorrie

I just had time to scan through this piece. I can say that I like the voice in it. When I have time tomorrow, I will go over this more thoroughly. Good so far. Good night.

SevenWritez

Excellent. Witty. Seamless. Perfect.

Post more stories; Now.

__________________

Charlie_Eleanor

Well written, well done. Interesting, and for the most part kept me involved. To only specific nitpick I have for you is:

Quote:

I don’t need to go into the kid’s whole story; I’m sure you’ve read it or watched it by now. Just in case you haven’t, the kid killed his parents and the neighbor’s daughter. In the movie they added a bunch of animal murders, but that wasn’t really true. The writers like to have their fun, though. But I thought the book was pretty damn good. And it’s not like we didn’t look out for the kid – he got writing credits, though I’m not sure he wrote a sentence. Part of the deal.

Couldn't you say something like; "You probably have heard the story, but just in case you haven't..." When you say you don't need to tell us and then tell us, well, just doesn't make since.

Be careful to keep it out of feeling too cliche, but well done.

__________________

Foxee

I bypassed this several times because of the title. It was a turn-off. Curiosity got to me though.

This has got a fantastic voice to it. Very authentic to my ear.

Jack is a really richly drawn character:



Fantastic.

And a great philosophical tone:


Smooth, believable writing. Unique perspective. Great job.

__________________
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. ~Mark Twain

sam_kempton

incredible, well done amigo that was pretty much flawless.
congrats

__________________
CTRL ALT DELETE.
CTRL ALT DELETE.
Damn it, I need to reboot my grill.

NedRyerson

Thanks for the replies guys, I really appreaciate it. I've only written a few stories so it's pretty encouraging.

Good point Charlie, I think I thought about that but forgot. I'll edit.

And while the title is a little extreme, I think it fits. Kinda the first thing that came to mind, too.

Thanks again ya'll.

crystalsecretin

I like your style, you have a strong personality in your writing and it's engaging and endearing.

Well done.

SevenWritez

This story deserves more praise. I smell jealousy in the air! And for that I return you to the top for publicity. Seriously, I'm on my hands and knees right now, man. Post more of your stuff--this was f^%&ing awesome.

__________________

winkash

Thought provoking, Ned. After all not everybody exaggerates just for the sake of it.

This never changes. It may have some variations but it always works. It just implies concocting a product that effectively reaches the eyes and ears of the big audience, whose minds become play dough in your hands once you get to know your target. (I'm empathizing with JacK, you see?)

Basically, audience are like tragedy VAMPIRES: they have never enough and they want more and more of it. Give them more shock, more blood, more visual and auditive stimuli. They need to feel alive.

Happy endings... Oh, this is perfect to me, Ned. I'm thinking that I should have been a journalist. This story makes me love the profession.


Given a fan of versions, you have the chance of chosing the one that best fills the audience's requirements. A good story-teller knows how to make a spicy tragedy of an unfortunate event. It sells, it entertains, it helps the victim -or the person involved- to do the corresponding catharsis.

And what about having the own suicide victim's version? Nothing could outdo this one, couldn't it, Jack? (I love your character, Ned)

Now, I draw the line here. This is like taking pictures of my own corpse and selling them. Wait a minute...

In REAL life someone tried to kill me. Even though I'm still alive to tell the story, something within me died, since anyone I meet for the first time, before becoming my friend, my foe or an irrelevant acquaintance, is a potential murderer to me. So I could take pictures of the corpse before it becomes the corpse and thus prevent that it be usurped its place in its best -selling coffin.

Ned, the strenght of your story demands that it be continued. I'm looking forward to it!

__________________
"All, all is theft, all is unceasing and rigorous competition in nature; the desire to make off with the substance of others is the foremost - the most legitimate - passion nature has bred into us and, without doubt, the most agreeable one."
Marquis de Sade

Mermaid on the breakwater

Witty. Overall the piece is great because of your character, Jack. Your writing style is matching this genre brilliantly. Well done.

NedRyerson

Thanks for the comments guys. I'm glad you could really get a feel of the character. He seems to have grown a bit since I first imagined it...
I'll post another one soon, SevenWritez.

__________________

Mermaid on the breakwater

lol. Well, maybe people are jealous, I don't know but you haven't commented on every story on here have you? Until you have you can't call people jealous for not reviewing this story.

snorrie

Sorry it took so long to back to your piece. I'm not going to nitpick on prose and wordiness. You've got the idea, so I'll leave that to you're own editing. I love the voice once again, but the piece was disjointed to me. It yanks one way then the other. You get going one way then you pull the reader the other direction without developing what you've started. I think you've got a great outline for a much longer piece. I could actually write a novel based on what you have here. You might want to keep this piece in mind in the future for the long haul if you already haven't. Still liked it though. Keep writing. Good luck.

Truth-Teller

Why is this amazing, again? Without a plot or story, the voice means nothing.

I found this very disjointing and flimsy; it doesn't get to the heart of the story.

It's all flesh, no meat.