jhaggard29

Hey can any of you guys give me an idea to trim this up a little? I need to get it down maybe 30 words or so. I wrote it at the request of a magazine editor for "possible publication". I have no idea what that means, but I'm doing it anyway.



There's something surreal about 5 a.m. It's not night anymore, but it's not quite daytime either. You know how the sky gets purple, right? In the morning before the sun comes up? Well, that's what it's like now. I notice the clouds, wispy above the tree line in the distance, and the smell of the fresh earth, damp with dew. This is all a distraction of course; I 'm supposed to be heading back to the gym right now. It's been two weeks since I did any working out at all - after my last race for the year, I hung it up for some much needed recovery, rest and relaxation. Now I'm just standing in the driveway, stalling.

No more pizza and ranch dressing. No more late nights out and mornings sleeping in. No more Percoset and champagne. No more excuses. It's the first of October, and that means May is right around the corner. Season two for me is going to be a breakout year. I have big plans. Five Sprint and three Intermediate Distance triathlons, an Xterra race, a couple of 5ks, and a half-iron aquabike or relay. I'm going for my first age-group win, trying to stay top ten in all my races this year. A pretty tall order, but if you set goals you know in advance you can reach, what's the bleeding point?

I have new weapons in my arsenal. New eyes from laser surgery give me hawk-like vision without the need for contact lenses. A new nutrition plan will have me leaned out to 152 pounds and less than 10% body fat by December. A professional endurance coach will hand out ass-whipping workouts to help me get faster on the bike, whittle minutes off my mile pace for the run, and teach me periodization concepts so I can be in peak shape for my most important races. Look out 35-39 year old males. I'm coming for YOU this season.

I have this morning's upper body workout all planned out. This will be the first weightlifting for me in a long time, as toward the end of last season, pure aerobic race training became the main focus. I'm set to start a group strength-training class with coach in a little over a week, but I want to be ready to go so I don't come in looking like a first-timer right off the bat. I have fueled myself this morning with a powdered mix of amino acids, nitric oxide, caffeine, and just a few flakes of gunpowder. You know, just to make me a little crazy. It's a product marketed to brawny weightlifters looking to pack on muscle and turn their metabolic systems into white-hot, hell-fired, fat-burning machines. It also tastes insipid, like drinking wet sand and crushed baby aspirin.

A well coordinated outfit is a prerequisite for any workout, but I choose to express contempt for the czars of fashion in my ensembles right now. Clothing must serve a purely utilitarian purpose, and what I need now is something to make me sweat. So even at 80 degrees in the pre-dawn light, I have on layers… compression shorts, full length baggy-assed sweats from last year, a long sleeved moisture wicking undershirt with a ratty cotton t-shirt and a hoodie. It gets the job done better than expected, and 45 minutes later I'm soaked and stewing in my own warm juices. Gamy as a pot of turtle soup, I smile at soccer moms on treadmills and wonder why they wrinkle their noses and look away. Wait until they see me in that skin-tight singlet this summer. Then I'll have to beat them off with a stick, by God.

Dumbbell supersets are on the agenda, increasing weight and decreasing reps with only a short recovery in between will leave my biceps, triceps, deltoids, pecs and lats screaming for mercy. Their cries will fall on deaf ears. Already I am visualizing upcoming races. I’m passing the elites, with their teardrop helmets and disc wheels like they're sitting still, leaving them reeling and demoralized. Stunned, they watch me throw up my arms in victory on the podium and accept fabulous prizes. Tote bags, tie dyed beach towels, more tubs of disgusting powdered energy drink. Race after race they'll leave the transition area thinking “who is this guy?” Add another ten pound plate, please.

I feel like if I don't have to be carried out of the gym after a workout, I've wasted my time. Why do we do what we do, if not to do it better? I'll try to answer that question as I move through my training phases this winter. If you think you can figure it out, please let me know. Until then, good luck with your training, and I'll see you at the races.

Well, you might see my back…

Mermaid on the breakwater

Ok, I am an athlete, a middle distance one and some of the details are just not feasible. The idea of him having a range from the sprints all the way up to 5k and competing at a high level just doesn't work. Give him a specific goal in a specific event. It will help you a lot, I think.

Also, it's too technical, athletes don't think like that, trust me, they just go out and run. The scientific parts, should be for the voice of the coach so that it comes across as more believeable, the athletes don't do all the thinking and all the work as well, my God, if they did they'd be tired. Lol.

Other than that, pretty promising and I enjoyed it from an athlete's perspective.

One more thing that I've just noticed. The bit about him being carried out of the gym is all wrong, athletes have to listen to their body so that they can train well the next day. It's too stereotypical you having him slamming his body intop the ground every day in training like Rocky Balboa. That, in real life, would require a healthy amount of steroids...

jhaggard29

Thanks for your comments! The guy in the story is me, this is what I plan to do in the offseason. I am a beginner triathlete and did 5 races this year. I fully intend to do 9 or more triathlons next season, and at least two 5ks. I don't think it's unreasonable at all, and neither does my coach. I don't get your meaning about being "too technical" I will train using the Friel method of periodization, which any athlete who participates in triathlons should be familiar with. It's the standard of endurance training methods.

About being carried out of the gym...that's how I do it. I work out with a very high level of intensity everyday, and don't use any type of steriod or other performance enhancing drug, except the powdered drink mix I describe in the piece. It's called N.O. Xplode, and can be found at any GNC or health food store.

Mermaid on the breakwater

Hey, fair enough, have you done this kind of training before though?

Mermaid on the breakwater

oh, and you're right about the triathlon, it's not unreasonable at all I just missed out the fact it was triathlon lol. So well and truly my bad! I thought, for some reason, you were talking about just running. I think the word DOH! Is appropriate.

In the gym are you using lightweights? I guess you are because you're a triathlete. Try easing off on them a bit though because you can't train like that day in and day out and if you can all you do is deconstruct the training benefit. 95% is 100% better than 100% effort in training. That's something I had to learn the hard way.

Good read.

Story

I don't think the workouts are absurd, in fact many of the people I know work out this hard (as do I) several times a week. Long races (I am a 3x Ironman) take intense training.

How does your eye surgery help you with a tri? You sort of lost me there? (or you know something I don't)

I love race reports, and the ones written only a few hours or days after a big event are the best. Many people say they can feel the effort involved in a race report that is written when your body still hurts, and I agree.

This is a good read, but the drudgery of the workout sort of comes through. Maybe you can try to relate the satisfaction that comes with the intensity?

snorrie

5 a.m. is surreal—neither night nor quite day yet. (six words gone.)

The sky turns purple just before the sun comes up. (six more gone.)

I notice the wispy clouds above the distant tree line, and smell the fresh earth, damp with dew. (four more)

Mere distractions; I should be headed back to the gym right now. (six more)

Two weeks passed since I last work out—(four more)

Being October First means May is right around the corner. (And there you have it.)

Anything else?

jhaggard29

Wow, thanks for all the comments! This story was about a warm-up workout I did on my own before starting a class with my new coach. I had the first workout with him today, and we didn't lift a single weight. All calisthenics, with focus on posture and form. Did use some resistance bands though. Eye surgery helps with Tri's when you're nearly blind without contacts and some bonehead pulls off your goggles in the lake.