Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Short Stories
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-08-2007, 05:49 AM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 19
checkitout is on a distinguished road
Thumbs up Age is just a number

There once lived a fine young man 19 years old, who really loved spending most of his time in the internet and guess what? One of the important things he used to do throughout his day was to chat with girls who were completely anonymous to him. But what we knew not he’s aim was not to flirt but to get his dream girl from those young ladies.
Each single day that passed by all the girls which he got almost all enjoyed flirting which that kind of behavior used to upset him a lot but that wasn’t showing him the way of giving up.

Finally they came that day which he been waiting for long; God fulfilled his wish and he came across with one in one of the chatting room who end up stilling his heart though she was two years elder to him. But that didn’t change his feelings towards her; he only said his favorite sentence age is just a number. Even when that young lady was worried about her age and demanded a promise from him, he said the same “for me age is just a number” and I will stand by you forever. As days were passing by he started falling deeper in love with her daily conversation which later he end up giving her his real name, age, location, photograph and his real cell phone number. Can you believe this? Yes we can!

By that time when he completely followed his teenage mind, he even forgot to ask a photograph of that young lady as he extremely fell in love with her voice too. But the interesting part came when that young lady asked would you love me just exactly the way I am. He was confused why did she ask me such a question but he thought it was just one of a stupid question and he replied yes. He haven’t even finish breathing that lady asked him another question would you love me even knowing I’m fat, Yes I’m fat but not that scary which would scare you but one thing if we would stand together I would look like your mother’s age. He again replied yes pretending he wasn’t scared and suddenly the line got disconnected. But he kept thinking shall I try to avoid her online, shall I change my cell phone number, shall I break my relation with her , her look might not be my type and people would make fun of me, secondly she is elder to me 2years and my parents might be against that and lastly how could I trust a person whom I came to know her in the internet, how come I was so foolish without even thinking what I was doing she might be a crazy person or a criminal or something more dangerous like how I have heard from newspapers, from friends oh my God what shall I do.

to be continue……


Copyright © 2007 ZAINAB

17 September

Last edited by checkitout : 10-08-2007 at 05:53 AM.
checkitout is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2007, 01:05 AM   #2
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 19
checkitout is on a distinguished road
Soon it will continue!
__________________
checkitout is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2007, 02:57 AM   #3
Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 38
NedRyerson is on a distinguished road
Didn't really do it for me... I think just the story you've told here could be expanded quite a bit to show what's happening instead of just telling it. It's hard for me to really feel connected or bad with the character when it's all happening in a few paragraphs. Also maybe it's just me, but I don't think a 2 year age gap between 19 and 21 is a big deal at all.

Basically the idea could work, but it needs to be expanded and show what's happening instead of just saying how they feel.
NedRyerson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2007, 06:32 AM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 19
checkitout is on a distinguished road
The problems wasn't the age but this young man got scared when the girl told him that she might look like her mother , so this guy was thinking if this girl said so she might be lying she could be also more than her mothers age

And yes it should expanded that's why there is a part 2 of it!

Anyway thanks for your reviewing even if it wasn't your cup of tea , there will be some who would enjoy coz there were many who did...............
__________________
checkitout is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:37 PM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers