Self-Loathing (474 Words) - Page 3 - Writers Forum

Mermaid on the breakwater · 10-08-2007, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SevenWritez

Wow.

Arklaem, Mermaid, this is a "writing forum," so a good majority of the people here might want to...I don't know...let me find the right phrasing for this...learn how to fucking improve themselves as writers.

What's with this "we're meant to ENCOURAGE writers," bullshit? Do you blow people for a living or is that just a part time hobby of yours, too?

The original writer of this piece needed the criticism, it was delivered in harsh manner, but ended on a light-hearted note. Do you want a critic to pat you on the back so that you continue to make the same mistakes, or do you want them to be honest? Snorrie is a highly talented writer, read some of his work, and you'll see his criticism is on the mark.

I'm sorry for being rude, and I most likely wouldn't have stepped in, but that whole "WE MUST ENCOURAGE WRITERS AND NOT BE RUDE!" shit sent me crawling up the wall like Spider-Man on cocaine.

Ok, read some of Arkalem's work, he is pretty talented as well. I happen to think I am pretty talented. What's your point? That being talented means you can laugh at another's work? That it means you can immitate their writing style and poke them in the eye with it? Sorry, if you can't be constructive and offer criticism in a way that is progressive, then you should expect a bloody good kick up the arse.

Take your tongue out of snorrie's butt.

Loulou · 10-08-2007, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid on the breakwater

Snorrie, if you insulted someone's child what would you expect in return? Writing is like a brain child, if you are that harsh and completely unfair then you won't win any friends. More likely a slap.

Insulting someone's child compares in no way to posting writing on a site to be critiqued. If someone insulted my child I'd lay them out but I am not posting my child in a forum for criticism, am I? If you post your work you have to take the responses. I could tell snorrie was being facetious. People are way too sensitive.

As for your work murder.... I understand what you're saying in the piece but it's a little melodramatic for my tastes. That said, the image of the grass huddling together, preparing to die, is strong. Just use these images more sparingly and they'll have a hell of a lot more kick. Good work though.

SevenWritez · 10-08-2007, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid on the breakwater

Ok, read some of Arkalem's work, he is pretty talented as well.

Agreed

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid on the breakwater

I happen to think I am pretty talented.

Post a story, please. I couldn't find any with your name

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid on the breakwater

What's your point? That being talented means you can laugh at another's work? That it means you can immitate their writing style and poke them in the eye with it?

I had thought Snorrie was out of line as well, but note how he explained himself in his second post, in which case the writer of the piece understood the criticism and took it. You came in throwing fire crackers and grenades afterwords, and the stupidity was more on your part than anyone elses.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid on the breakwater

Sorry, if you can't be constructive and offer criticism in a way that is progressive, then you should expect a bloody good kick up the arse.

Criticism isn't meant to make you feel good. If you think that, you need a bloody good kick up the arse (Try "Kick up the ass," stupid, stop with your subtle crap).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid on the breakwater

Take your tongue out of snorrie's butt.

Now see, that's not subtle at all, but what happened to this progressive criticism you've been preaching? Help improve my mundane personality, oh wise lover of the bloody arse, and do it with la-style!

ANYHOW, I realize that I have not commented on the original piece, which I would like to do now. As another member here has said (forget their name), this story seems to have an emotional pull to it, but through the prose I found myself easily bogged down trying to decipher between characters and--yes--the excessive use of metaphors. I don't mind the literary technique, but you tended to throw them in anywhere where dialogue wasn't being used. I'm sure there is a powerful idea here, but I couldn't see it through all the smoke. I'd suggest redoing the piece with the same set story in my mind, but instead of using metaphors or similies to convey every image, let the images themselves do the trick. And I'm not saying to drop the former useage, either, just advising you not to throw it around so freely. Buuuuut, I'm pretty much re-stating what everyone else has said. Good luck on your next piece, and don't give up.

penforhire · 10-08-2007, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snorrie

The funny thing is, it was meant as humorous to being with as you will see in my next comment. I apologized and murdershewrote understood right off. If I wanted to be mean, I wouldn't have held back. I would have just said she's a worthless piece of !@#$. But at the same time it was a waking up in a lighthearted way. If you'll also notice, I said that the piece would be strong without all the metaphors, so I was complimenting her. Give me a break. People today are so worried about hurting one another's feelings. If everyone's mother wouldn't lie to them when they were younger, none of us would be so offened by the truth. The truth. The truth. The truth. Let me say it again. The truth.

I'm falling in love with you Snorrie!

Gimme the truth on my work too please.

Mermaid on the breakwater · 10-08-2007, 08:43 AM

At the end of the day, a critique is called a critique for a reason. It's not called a rant. And plus the fact, when you critique something, you look for the good and the bad. Praise the good and point out where they can improve in a manner that is not offensive. If you were looking someone face to face, would you be that harsh? I am aware that in writing you are opening yourself up to criticism, that is a given. But when you step across the line and insult, as snorrie did, then you can expect a bit of heat coming back your way. And it's arse, not ass. An ass is a donkey. I have no intention of kicking snorrie's donkey.

Mermaid on the breakwater · 10-08-2007, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loulou

Insulting someone's child compares in no way to posting writing on a site to be critiqued. If someone insulted my child I'd lay them out but I am not posting my child in a forum for criticism, am I? If you post your work you have to take the responses. I could tell snorrie was being facetious. People are way too sensitive.

Take your writing more seriously.

Hawke · 10-08-2007, 11:52 AM

Just a reminder to please keep it about the original work, folks, not about the posters. Thank you.

Loulou · 10-08-2007, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid on the breakwater

Take your writing more seriously.

Don't mistake my silliness and sense of fun for lack of seriousness about my work. Meeting the deadline for a column every week for nearly six years helps me stay pretty focused. Luckily. Because otherwise, yes I'd be much sillier. Oh, how.

Sorry Hawke melove.... to comment further on the original work... I do like the lawnmower symbolism.

snorrie · 10-08-2007, 03:28 PM

This is better than a reality show!!!!!!! MMMMMMMMM....popcorn.

murdershewrote2005 · 10-12-2007, 08:25 AM

Updated!